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01zfan · 18 days ago

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that's my floor | j. sc

sungchan x reader | 5.8k words

another commission! inspired by that's my floor by magdalena bay.

contains: hooking up at a house party, yearning, hopeless pining, dry humping, fingering

You wanted Sungchan to catch you for the longest. The first year of classes you wanted him to look over his shoulder two rows behind him and catch you looking at him. You wanted him to catch you in the grassy quad with your group of friends, you wanted him to catch you at the million other functions you both happened to be at the same time.

So when you were hiding in the corner of the kitchen where a week prior all that want reared its ugly head, the last thing you expected was to hear his voice behind you.

“I’ve been trying to catch you all night.” He said.

Still facing away from Sungchan, you prayed he was talking to someone else. Even though the kitchen was empty, and you approached him first a week ago, you prayed that you were hearing things.

But when you still felt his presence behind you, and you felt his hand reach out to your shoulder, you knew it was real. You had no choice but to turn around slowly, fixing the look of horror on your face to show surprise.

“I didn’t know you were here.” You said.

You knew Sungchan was here. He was the first person you saw when you walked in. He was the first person you always looked for when you would come to Wonbin’s parties. He was standing in the same place he was last week, right past the doorframe where the living room turned into the hallway that led to the bathrooms and bedrooms. That was always the place he gravitated towards at Wonbin’s house parties. The spot was where Sungchan and his friends usually convened, in between their runs to the kitchen for more alcohol or into the living room for snacks and entertainment.

Usually, you stayed on the opposite side. Leaned up against the wall underneath the fairy light decorations. A drink in your hand and Wonbin at your side, subtly trying to corral you to the other side of the room by nudging your shoulder and flicking his head.

“I’m not doing it.” You said sternly.

You nursed your drink and avoided looking directly at Sungchan like your life depended on it. Your other hand was picking at the end of your skirt nervously at the mere thought of walking over to him. You kept your eyes absentmindedly forward, looking through the throngs of people not letting your gaze settle on one spot for too long.

“Just go talk to him.” Wonbin spoke directly in your ear over the loud music. “You always talk about talking to him.” He said.

Sungchan leaned against the white wall the same way you leaned against the counter in the corner of the kitchen, but he wasn’t cowering or hiding by any means. He talked to anyone that approached him, forcing those trying to navigate the space to squeeze against the wall to get by. Sungchan noticed each time, gently grabbing his friends arm to move them out of the way so people could pass by freely. He smiled at whoever was going each time they said thank you, and shook his head gently each time they tried to apologize.

For a moment you entertain talking to him. You could weave through the crowd of your mutual friends to act like you’re getting something from the snack table that sits next to the doorway. A white blanket resting over an outdoor table with chips and cookies, you could linger around, faking curiosity until you heard a break in Sungchan’s conversation. You could swoop in once one of his friends left, mentioning the class you had together or that you two always conveniently went to the corner store near campus at the same time.

But then you imagined getting so nervous you’d stumble over your words, or just linger at the table before psyching yourself out and going right back to your side of the living room. The thought of it makes you shake your head and turn your gaze back to the kitchen island that was filled with bottles of liquor.

“Absolutely not.” You say.

Wonbin is all but convinced. He shakes his head when you speak, looking towards you but pointing in the general direction of Sungchan.

“He’s actually a really sweet guy.” Wonbin says.

You focus on him again. He stands past the lights that hang from the walls in the living room, but when he leans forward or bends down to engage in conversation, the light illuminates the softest parts of his face. You have no doubt in your mind he’s sweet. You have known Sungchan for the better part of four years, starting from your first year in college all the way to your last. At orientation he was the sweet guy, mingling and forcing even the shyest ones to open up. You weren’t surprised that so many people gravitated towards him. Four years later you were still hung up on how kind he was to every person he met. The admiration you felt turned into something more around your second year, when you realized that he was smart too. It only got worse when he started coming into his own as a young adult. Now you were helplessly hung up on him, so much to the point that you would feel hot in the face just thinking about him.

“He probably already knows who you are.” Wonbin reasons.

Sungchan knowing who you were somehow felt worse than him not knowing you at all. He didn’t need to know that your schedules were almost synced up completely due to the fact that you both were pursuing the same degree, and that you two lived in the same area on campus. Sungchan didn’t need to know that you frequented the same spots at the same time for late night snacks or when you needed to get out. He didn’t need to know about your tendency to put your foot in your mouth or his habit of making you unreasonably nervous.

“Next time.” You murmur.

“You said that last time.” Wonbin comes between your line of sight and Sungchan. “I’ve been hearing about your little crush for too long now. I might end up taking matters into my own hands.”

At your friends threat you cock your head to the side. Wonbin mirrors your expression with a sinister grin. Then a moment later through the dancing crowd of people Wonbin opens his mouth. The beginning of Sungchan’s name falls from his lips and your feet move you forward deeper into the living room, desperately getting away from the situation. Wonbin’s eyes follow you as you go through the crowd, and you pray that Sungchan didn’t hear him.

You would’ve gladly spent the rest of the party in between the large group of people that danced in the living room. But at some point you wormed your way through the crowd and ended up on the other side of it, looking at the assortment of snacks on the table. As you continued to look down Sungchan was in the corner of your eye, nodding along to some conversation before he adding to it. The more you lingered the more you felt like he was looking at you. There was a break in the conversation and some of Sungchan’s friends dispersed to different parts of Wonbin’s house. It was just him alone, leaning against the wall in earshot of your voice. You held your breath and thought about what you were going to say three times. A deep breath in and you grabbed a snack, clearing your throat and turning your head towards Sungchan getting ready to speak.

“Sungchan!”

Both you and Sungchan turned your head at the same time. As you looked into the crowd to find the source of the voice Sungchan had already found it. A smile on his lips before he waved, preemptively bending down to hear her clearly.

“Minjeong. You never come to these things.” Sungchan said.

You’re not sure what Minjeong said next. You knew it couldn’t have been that funny to cause Sungchan to tilt his head back in laughter, and you know he wasn’t far enough for Minjeong to bring her hand up to his arm.

You stood next to the snack table and something akin to jealousy started boiling in your stomach. Almost immediately the jealousy turned to anger, and you were marching your heeled boots across the sticky wooden floors to the kitchen where Wonbin was already waiting for you.

From that point on, the party was a blur. Wonbin offered you something stronger to drown your sorrows despite the alcohol only making you more hellbent on remaining nonchalant. Even if you glared at the two of them from across the room you remained steadfast in answering Wonbin’s questions with a curt I’m fine before downing another drink. Before you knew it the party was thinning out and Minjeong left to catch up with her friends while Sungchan continued to talk to his.

Then the party really started winding down and you had alcohol buzzing in your system and a sense of jealousy you couldn’t quite shake.

So as Sungchan walked away from his designated spot and past where you reached out your hand and suddenly cleared your throat.

“Sungchan.” You said.

In that moment both of you seemed equally caught off guard. Sungchan stared at you and stopped completely in his tracks. Your hand was extended towards his body for a prolonged period of time before you hesitantly brought it back to your side. You realized in that moment that you had never actually spoken to him, all those years you spent staring at the back of his head and thinking about him gave you a false sense of knowing him. So when it sunk in that you were essentially a stranger to Sungchan despite knowing everything about him, you cleared your throat again.

“Have a nice night.” You said.

Sungchan cocked his head to the side at your abrupt well wishes. You felt a creeping sense of blush pink embarrassment wash over you, and in your haste you focused on finding Wonbin. Something to bridge the terrible gap between you and Sungchan that became a chasm in a matter of seconds. But before you could locate your mutual friend Sungchan nodded and raised his hand towards you briefly.

“Thanks.” He continued to walk, heading towards his friends that were already out the door. “You too.” He replied.

You held onto your short interaction with Sungchan entirely too much. His confused face flashed through your mind anytime there was a moment of silence, causing you to cringe inwardly. You thought about his awkward hand gesture towards you as he was leaving the party, and his reply that he seemed confused by. He was probably confused by the whole interaction. You caught him off guard, you caught yourself off guard. You no longer trusted yourself to be in his presence.

To never be caught in the same situation again, you avoided Sungchan at all costs. You came to class long before Sungchan did instead of arriving at the same time. You walked up rows of stairs now to avoid being in his line of sight, sitting behind a cluster of your classmates so he couldn’t see you. When he turned in his seat you sunk into yours, hiding in the spine of your textbook or behind the screen of your laptop. When you saw Sungchan at the corner store near campus you avoided him completely, feigning focus on random labels of snacks instead of Sungchan curiously looking down the aisles. You ignored the awkward hand waves he did towards you, the sound of your shared snack choices moving around in his basket. Instead you were focused on the nutritional facts of garbanzo beans and the low sound of pop music playing from the speakers.

You spent a week avoiding Sungchan by any means you thought you had finally succeeded. You thought that he had gone back to ignoring your presence. Your voice conveyed so much shock that he recoiled, bringing his hand that was on your shoulder back to his side before he looked away. Sungchan’s hand that went to the back of his neck showed that he didn’t realize you were running around and leaving rooms anytime he showed an inkling of wanting to approach you. You were scared shitless, so much so that you thought it was obvious. But Sungchan looked at you from beside the kitchen island, almost looking hurt as you both tried thinking of what else to say.

“I just was seeing you all night.” Sungchan gripped the edge of the kitchen island. “Zipping around. Just wanted to talk to you for a little bit.” He says.

The way Sungchan avoids eye contact is undeniable. His eyes go to the assortment of bottles on the kitchen island and the tile walls above the kitchen. You wouldn’t that he fails to meet your gaze because you fail to do it too. Both of your eyes flitter around the kitchen and you both nervously teeter from one foot to the other. It isn’t until Sungchan brings his cup back up to his lips that he dares to look at your face.

“You caught me.” You say quietly.

Sungchan nods his head.

“I caught you.” He affirms.

The party continues on beyond the kitchen. More people Wonbin knows come through the front door, cheering loud enough that causes other people to cheer with them. The living room becomes so packed that the crowd bleeds past the threshold of the kitchen. The party continues to expand, before you know it you and Sungchan are pushed closer and closer together by the growing crowd.

“You know.” Sungchan has to bend down to talk directly into your ear. The more people that came into the party the louder the music became. “I’m more attentive than you give me credit for.” He says.

The way he speaks almost sounds like his feelings are hurt. You should really take the words he says to you at face value.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You reply.

You really should have taken the words he said at face value. Because now there’s no denying to heat that spreads across your face and the smile you can’t control. You can practically hear the smile in Sungchan’s voice as he gets closer to you.

“I know you didn’t ask but me and Minjeong are just friends.” Sungchan points to one of his friends, standing in their designated spot as he talks to another person. “She’s dating my roommate. She rarely comes out so I was just surprised to see her is all.”

You keep your eyes towards the same doorframe you saw Sungchan last week, the same place you attempted to enter his orbit. The situation then threw you off balance, but the way he now leans in closely and nods at you makes your hands almost shake. But there is something nagging at you more than anything. The question eats at you while you rub the edge of the red solo cup and when girls come to inspect their choice of alcohol you force yourself to look up at Sungchan. He takes in your pensive look immediately, he blinks away the amusement from your joke to a worried look.

“Can I ask you something?” You ask with a smile, and the girls in the radius of your conversation get a little quieter as they make their selection of alcohol.

You watch Sungchan get visibly nervous. His own gaze flits to the girls briefly before he brings his red solo cup to his lips. He pulls away and you can see him try his best to hide the bitter taste behind a head nod.

“Go ahead.” He answers.

You nod, suddenly aware that now you have to ask the question. You look away from Sungchan’s intense gaze, causing him to lean a little closer. He fully invades your space now, causing your hand to clench around your plastic cup and to bite on your lips.

You realize in that moment that you’ve never been this close to Sungchan before. You’ve never been able to see how long his eyelashes are, how they fan his face between each blink of his curious eyes. You’ve never had to look up to him before, from such a distance he’s always been eye level.

“Did you ever notice me?” You ask.

Sungchan nods his head immediately. He looks into his cup for a second and smiles wistfully to himself. You can feel your heart thudding in your chest.

“I noticed you.”

Sungchan speaks so suddenly it catches you by surprise. You lean your head back and Sungchan slightly leans forward. His hand grips the edge of the island as thinks carefully, his lips pull tight and he looks up to the ceiling of the kitchen. You move to your other foot and feel the urge to press your hand deep over your ribcage.

“I didn’t think you wanted me to.” He looks at the tiled surface of the counter before looking to you. “But I noticed.” He says carefully.

Last week you talked for Sungchan for the first time, a brash decision caused by alcohol and jealousy. Now he was squeezing you past his friends as you ducked your way towards Wonbin’s room. You barely remember the progression from standing beside the island in the kitchen to walking behind him. His hand that was hesitant in touching you was confidently placed on the small of your back, inching further and further down as his body got closer to yours. You were operating on Sungchan’s guiding hand alone, each time the crowded party caused Sungchan’s front to press against your back caused your mind to blank. Your feet dragged across Wonbin’s living room floor, you two managed to squeeze through the entire party without a single person noticing you. Sungchan’s roommate only dapped him up as you continued down the hallway towards Wonbin’s room. You didn’t even have the chance to look behind you before Sungchan’s body was pressed against yours again, his hand reaching forward to open the bedroom door.

“You know this means you can’t avoid me around campus anymore, right?” Sungchan says as the door clicks closed behind you.

You can’t bring yourself to think about anything except Wonbin’s unoccupied and neatly made bed in front of you and Sungchan’s hands that grip your waist behind you. Your mind refuses to deviate from the task at hand. You have no brainpower left to try and convince Sungchan that you’ve blatantly ignored him the past week. You can only turn around and bring yourself to look at him for a second before you close the distance between your lips. With a simple tug at his collar Sungchan understands entirely too fast, a hand goes to your cheek the same time his other hand reaches behind him to turn the lock on the doorknob. Immediately his hand returns to your waist the same time you tilt your head to kiss him deeper. His hand on your cheek is soft, his lips that refuse to kiss you with the same fervor is even softer.

Sungchan walks you backwards towards Wonbin’s bed but lets you turn him. Within seconds it’s you impatiently walking on his feet, and you do a terrible job of guiding his body backwards. You truthfully don’t know where you are, you barely remember what you’re doing until his legs hit the edge of the bed. Sungchan takes his hands from your hips to break his landing on the mattress. You realize you’ve come in entirely too hot when Sungchan loses his balance, his palms planting into the bed is the only thing that stabilizes him.

With you looking down at Sungchan and him looking up at you, the situation you found yourself in began to slowly sink in. Sungchan was already making himself comfortable on the bed, looking up to you like you had all the power in the world. Your spit glistened on his lip and the music continued playing. The bass shook the floor you stood on and the more you realized Sungchan wanted you the more you believed you were going to ruin it all. The tension built between you two over the course of years felt like it was at risk of dissipating in seconds. You were practically waiting for Sungchan to blink the lust away from his eyes, you were waiting for a switch to flip that would make him forget you all over again. You had convinced yourself were at risk of being right at square one despite Sungchan pulling himself to the center of the bed and reaching out to your waist in a silent invitation.

All it takes is one gentle pull from Sungchan before your crawling on the bed after him. He lays on his back you get on the bed with your knees planted on either side of him. You start your way up his body the same time his hands start on your bare thigh, palming and rubbing your soft skin slowly. The mattress creaks underneath your knees, the sound drowns out your quiet exhales and your thighs brushing against Sungchan’s jeans. You look at the indent your weight is making in the dark comforter before you finally bring your gaze up to Sungchan.

Everything stops when you find he’s already looking at you. A half-lidded gaze that would’ve made you look away any other time, but for the first time ever you focus on him completely. You do not want to waste a single second not looking at him. You don’t want to miss the way his hand hesitantly works further up your body as he blinks away the arousal to show sincerity.

“I don’t want you to think I planned this.” He slowly drags his hands up, one gripping your waist and the other pressed into your lower stomach. He makes your hips come further down to press against his, and you feel his length against your clothed cunt. Sungchan’s eyes go down to where you two are so close to meeting, the lightest graze downwards to feel the cotton fabric and elastic trim of your panties. “I didn’t chat you up just to fuck.” He says truthfully.

Sungchan is admittedly already lost in you. His voice is far off as he speaks to you, almost falling underneath the baseline of the party that continues on downstairs. The low hum of lyrics leak through the walls, and the occasional yell of something happening upstairs fills the silence between the two of you. But Sungchan isn’t focused on the music or the people, he is focused on the soft skin of your lower stomach against his fingertips.

He was two seconds away from grabbing your stomach and watching the flesh spill between the gaps of his fingers when you dragged your hips against his. Suddenly it was the sound of fabric filling the room, his denim catching against cotton and the sound of mutual sharp inhales.

“Who says we’re fucking?” You ask.

Your heart is pounding in your chest at your bold words. The word fucking felt foreign rolling off your tongue in this context, but the way Sungchan’s gaze snapped up to you gave you confidence. His hand completely loosening its grip emboldened you enough to repeat the motion. Your hips were laid heavy against Sungchan’s body as you moved forward, feeling his constrained and twitching dick rub against you.

“You’ll have to take me out to dinner first.” When you grind your hips a third time you have to lean forward, your hands pressing into the mattress on either side of Sungchan’s head. The new positioning allows you to drag your hips with more fluidity. Warmth comes off of him in waves. His head warms your hands, the heat radiating from his body pressed against yours almost feels like a flame. When you swivel to again Sungchan’s hands go to your hips, experimentally pressing you down further. “I’m not that easy.” You chide.

Sungchan is nodding his head in an instant. He parts his lips to speak as you grind your hips against his again, instead of speaking he swallows. You swear you can feel every inch of him, even when layers of clothes separate your sexes.

“I’ll take you out.” Sungchan breathes out, closing his eyes and pressing his head into the mattress as he slows your hips down. “I’m going to take you to that place Wonbin said you like.” He laments.

You only nod back to him. The sensation of grinding against him is intoxicating. Like the layer of clothes have been shed you can feel his warmth flood you like he’s inside, and the way he grips at your waist only increases the feeling. Your eyebrows knit together when you flick your hips a different way, the new sensation lighting up your spine.

“I swear I can feel you.” Sungchan whines it to the ceiling. His thumbs press deep into your stomach, and you clutch the sheets beside his head. “Can you feel me?” He asks.

“Yeah.” You whine.

Your eyes are screwed shut for a moment, focusing on repeating that same motion that made you feel like you were on fire. Sungchan’s hand reaches further up, grabbing a handful of your chest and you move into his touch.

“Where can you feel me?” He asks.

When you open your eyes again Sungchan is already looking up at you. His pupils are blown out and you’re sure you looked the same, complete with the bitten lips and death grips behind your hands. Your shaky hand lets go of the sheets and drifts to your stomach, a heavy hand tracing over Sungchan’s torso. He freezes up underneath your touch, but you watch the muscles of his stomach tense when your hand lays flat on your lower stomach. You press deep into your stomach and it causes your hips to twitch erratically. As if the tension is a real tangible thing in the pit of your gut you stimulate it, looking down at Sungchan when you start moving your hips in a circle.

“I can feel you here.” You answer.

Both of you know that technically Sungchan is nowhere close to being inside of you. There’s two pairs of underwear, jeans, and about four years of pining that separate you. You both know that even if you’re grinding on Sungchan’s dick and he’s keeping your cunt flush to him, there’s still so much left to the imagination. He doesn’t know what you look like laying bare for him and you don’t know what his dick looks like free of its confines. But you’ve yearned for this so long your mind has been prepared to fill the gaps. You have been walking in the desert for years, so of course having a drop of water feels like you’re drowning. You can feel his dick throbbing like a rock forming in the pit of your stomach. Each drag of your hips is like swimming deeper and deeper to the end, Sungchan’s breathy groans that you’ve dreamed about pulls you under.

“I can feel it too.” Sungchan brings his gaze back up to you, eyes glazed over. “I swear I can.” He says.

Sungchan pulls himself further onto the bed, his hand goes to your lower back to keep you stable. Before you know it he’s sitting up on the bed entirely, chest pressed to yours as he puts his face in the crook of your neck.

The new angle and Sungchan’s iron grip on your body has you whining. That coil in your stomach continues to tighten, even if it’s stubborn from the lack of you being touched the way you truly need. Even if you are not getting fucked you still feel the excitement, and despite Sungchan not being inside of you he still ruts his hips upwards in a haste.

“It feels so good.” He feels your skin that’s hot to the touch, he feels your hair tickling the side of his face and he feels your heart beating against his chest. He can feel the atmosphere surrounding you two, the undeniable tension that you were unknowingly avoiding. Even if he can’t technically feel the way your walls close around nothing sporadically, he can feel something. “You feel so good.” He sighs.

You nod your head against his. You can feel it too.

“Sungchan, I’m so close.” You whine.

The bass from the music downstairs gets louder, shaking the floor the bed resides on and the walls that are closing you and Sungchan in. You can feel the energy of the party increase tenfold, and the electricity between you and Sungchan threatens to fry your brain to a crisp. Everything is too much, entirely too much.

When Sungchan pulls his body away from yours and props his hand behind his back, you feel overwhelmed. Your hips control you now, moving almost in a frenzy chasing after something that already feels like it’s fleeting.

His eyes go down to your panties, he watches the cotton fabric move against his jeans intensely before his gaze goes back up to you. Without a word Sungchan takes his hand from behind him and holds onto you tighter. With you as his new anchor he pushes his hand past the elastic band of your panties, and pushes them lower and lower. When his quick hand bumps your clit your full body twitches, and when his two fingers push past your slit you go forward entirely.

You collapse into him pathetically, grasping at anything you can to steady yourself. You can feel Sungchan’s body sway from your weight, his core strength is the only thing that keeps your bodies upright. If it’s a strenuous task he doesn’t let it be known, he only rests his head on top of yours and continues pumping his fingers in and out of your heat.

“Oh my God.” Your words are muffled in his white tee, they slide out like the spit seeping from the corner of your mouth.

“I got you.” He says.

Him holding on just for you was the last thing you needed. Your hands that found their way to Sungchan’s bicep grips them so tightly you can feel your nails digging into his soft skin. You curse into his chest, and when you feel that coil snap Sungchan brings you in closer. His large hand splays against your back as your hips flick with no rhythm. You can feel Sungchan hold on for a moment longer before his body shudders underneath yours, causing his fingers to fuck you at a faster pace.

You are completely lost. You’re lost in the pressure and the feeling of Sungchan’s hard body against yours. You can barely force yourself to look upwards at through the bliss to see him, and the view is devastating. The way Sungchan looks down at you pulls you deeper to the point that you’re helplessly whimpering in his face. Sungchan starts letting out sounds of his own, whispered cursed and beginnings of grunts. When the music stops downstairs you two choose to muffle your sounds by kissing.

Instantly Sungchan slips his tongue into your mouth. You can taste him run it over your top row of teeth, then to the inside of your cheek. You moan into Sungchan’s mouth and he moans into yours. You can’t stop yourself from bringing your hands to his face and tilting it to the side. You feel another pull when Sungchan submits immediately to you, and you can feel his moans turn to whimpers inside of your mouth. For a split second you open your eyes to see his closed as he tilts his head to the other side. His cheeks are so smooth underneath your fingertips and he looks so pure, even when your spit glazes the perimeter of his lips and he moans into your mouth. For a moment you can handle it, but just like when the music picks up again there is too much going on. Your hand grabs at his that’s in your underwear and you reluctantly break apart from his lips.

“Too much.” You whimper.

Sungchan opens his eyes in a daze, for a moment his fingers still move inside of you like they have a mind of their own. When he subconsciously presses his fingers against your walls you seize again, and a cry escapes your lips.

Sungchan pulls his fingers out of you and the two of you watch as he pulls his hand from your underwear to hold your waist. The view is too much, entirely too much but you can’t bring yourself to look away. The two of you are still caught up in the sight, and when the dust settles and Wonbin starts yelling at people to leave everything starts sinking in.

You pull away completely first. Both you and Sungchan’s breathing is still labored as you look the other up and down. Your hands still shake when you ball them into first, and your first mouthful of spit you swallow still tastes like Sungchan. He was kissing you and fingering you on Wonbin’s bed, he was kissing you like his life depended on it. Everything moved so fast that it replayed like a movie in your head. Flashes of your moans and Sungchan gripping you so tight permeates the forefront of your mind. Your first instinct is to get away from him, as if there was anyway for you to expose yourself to him further.

“I’m sorry.” You mumble.

When you try to crawl off of Sungchan he grips your waist even tighter. Sungchan’s bewildered expression drops when the apology stumbles from your lips.

“Please don’t say sorry while my hand is still in your pants.” He says painfully.

You don’t think you’ve ever been in a worse situation. The tips of Sungchan’s fingers are still hidden underneath your jeans, you can still feel the bottom of his palm press into your stomach. You unintentionally squirm on his lap again, and like his foot has been stepped on Sungchan sucks in another deep breath.

“Sor��” Sungchan begging you not to say sorry makes you stop in the middle of your sentence. “My bad.” You say.

Wonbin still is yelling at people to clear out of his apartment. His voice sounds closer than it did before, like he was in that part of the hallway that either too him to the bathrooms or to his bedroom that you and Sungchan were currently occupying.

Both of you know you should get up. The more time you waste staring at eachother trying to find the words to say Wonbin gets closer and closer to discovering that his door is locked and he hasn’t seen his two bestfriends in a prolonged period of time. But you can’t stop looking at Sungchan’s lips in awe that you were kissing them minutes ago and he can’t take his hands away from your bare skin.

The door handle is turned one way then the other, causing the metal knob to twist back and forth. You can’t be bothered to turn your head. Sungchan’s hands start lightly kneading your waist.

“Who the fuck is in here?” Wonbin yells on the other side.

#commissionz #01zfan: sungchan #sungchan smut #riize smut

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just-jordie-things · 10 months ago

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cherry blossom - inumaki toge

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 10k follower event special! ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

word count: 9.3k warnings: shibuya mentions, toge says some words bc i'm not god ok, drinking summary: you've always had all the time in the world to figure out what you were to each other. falling in love is meant to be slow and sweet, after all. more info: friends to lovers, fluff without plot really (yeah i'm making that a thing)

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[ what you don’t tell no one, you can tell me // little ghost, tall, tan like milk and honey // you’re very brave, and very free ]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Inumaki Toge was very close with all of his friends. He cherished them in ways he could only dream of vocalizing. Instead, with his cursed speech, he was limited to smaller forms of appreciation to show them how he cared. Remembering Yuuta’s favorite drink, punching Maki on the shoulder to tell her she did a great job, passing notes with Panda to pull off a silly prank- his love language was an odd one for sure, but it never went unnoticed. His friends cared for him just as much.

(y/n) was different, though.

It was no secret to the others- if it had been, it would’ve been a terribly kept one- even without the ability to voice it, it would have been useless to try. There was no denying the way that he treated her, the way he looked at her, it was unlike all the others. If she was speaking, his attention was on her, even in a crowded room, even if someone was talking over her, Toge listened to every word, actively engaged in whatever the topic was.

He always sat next to her, always picked her as a training partner, always reached out to her first when making a plan, she lived on the front of his mind rent free, and Toge was more than content to let her.

“Funny, or sad?” She asks him now, drawing him out of his dreamy thoughts and bringing him back to reality. She’s perched at the end of his bed, two dvd cases in either hand presented to him. His gaze shifts between the two as he mulls it over.

If he chooses funny, then he’ll get to hear her giggles for the next two hours, followed by her pretty voice repeating all her favorite lines to send her into fits of laughter again. He likes that option.

But the other movie in her hand is a favorite of hers. He wouldn’t describe it as sad as she had, but the uplifting message did tug at the heartstrings, and he’s caught her crying over it multiple times in the few years he’s known her. So he gestures to that one, reveling in the way she lights up before she’s getting off the bed in order to get his dvd player setup.

It was actually her dvd player, Toge was more of a Netflix guy, but with her collection of movies and the frequency at which she hauled it all over to his room, they’d silently decided to just leave it in his room. Sure, it might have been easier for them to have movie nights in her room where she didn’t have to unplug the Xbox every time to watch a movie, but Toge would never suggest such a thing, and she’s never brought it up either. He likes having some of her things in his room.

For a little while, it could help him feel like they were living a more domestic, normalized life. Sometimes, he would set up her movies from that week on his shelf in alphabetical order, or fold up the blanket she’d left behind, and he could pretend that things were… different.

“I’ll have to add a box of tissues to the pile” She says, eyeing the plastic bag of snacks that the two of them had just gone out for.

It was routine at this point, rush out to the convenience store, buy more snacks than they agreed on, and then rush back to campus to get the movie started before it was too late. These were his favorite days.

With her back turned as she got the dvd player plugged in, Toge clicked his tongue to get her attention. She glances back at him right away, her curious look blooming into a full, beautiful smile as he raises a little plastic package of tissues, wiggling it in the air happily.

“You’re perfect!” She laughs to herself before going back to the console, placing the disk inside with an eager little dance.

Toge thinks it’s adorable that she’s so excited to watch a movie that will make her cry. He could be biased though- he thinks everything she does is adorable.

Once the movie starts, she’s quick to jump back onto the bed, crawling up into the space beside him, snatching up the back of treats on the way. Toge watches her, it’s only the opening credits playing anyways, it’s not like he was missing anything yet. (y/n) catches his eye, raising a brow as she tilts the bag towards him.

There’s not exactly a way for him to tell her that his staring was just because he liked when she didn’t tuck her hair back and it fell in that messy way it did, not because he was waiting for his turn with the snack bag. So he gives her a lopsided smile and takes the offering.

“If you open the chips I want some” (y/n) hums, her eyes already back on the screen as the movie begins. Toge chuckles, pulling out the green bag of sour cream and onion flavored chips, even though he’d been eyeing the package of chocolate chip cookies.

(y/n) turns to him again, this time with a mock pout on her lips.

“Are you laughing at me?”

It makes him laugh a little more, even as he’s shaking his head to convince her otherwise. He opens the bag of chips and tilts it towards her as a peace offering. She gladly accepts it, her frown melting back into her syrupy smile as she snatches a few chips and settles in again to watch the movie.

As expected, she’s tearing up before anything’s really happened yet. Toge knows she’s already thinking about the real tear-jerking moments later on. Her emotions sometimes overwhelmed her- not just when watching heartwarming movies, but with handling the everyday things that came with the life of a jujutsu sorcerer. It was hard when one of her closest friends was sent away on long assignments overseas, it was hard when there were casualties on assignments, it was hard training every day and trying to be better, all the while doubting herself and her abilities.

There were some times that she’d come by and they wouldn’t lounge around watching movies. Sometimes she’d visit him just to sit quietly and take in the comfort of his presence. Toge never minded these days. He was just relieved that there was some way he could help her feel better- although he didn’t always understand what it was that worked. It’s not like he could talk her down from the bad feelings, all he really did was sit there, maybe hold her hand if she needed, often listening to whatever was on her mind.

“He’s the one that makes me think of you” (y/n) points to the screen when a new character pops up. A teenager, with shaggy, jet black hair, and a perpetual frown on his face as he’s on screen.

Toge mirrors the frown, turning to (y/n) with furrowed brows as he awaited a proper explanation. She only giggles to herself as she continues munching on her snack, not bothering to explain how a character who looks and behaves nothing like him could possibly have her making a connection between the two.

He started to wonder if it was time to change his hair again, but as the movie progressed, he began to understand. The kid had taken a vow of silence, and hadn’t spoken a word the entire movie. Yet somehow, his thoughts and feelings were portrayed perfectly. As the viewer, Toge was never left wondering what was going through his head. Admittedly, he grew attached to this character quickly, and he found his focus latching onto the plot now with fervor.

Noticing this, (y/n) smiled to herself as she tucked herself further into the pile of pillows behind her. It always warmed her heart to see him take interest in the things she liked. Maybe even too much.

It’s mostly quiet between them as the movie continues, they don’t like to talk too much during movies, only comments deemed important enough to share before the end, or the ask to pass the snacks. They usually would have a discussion at the end anyways, sharing all of their thoughts and favorite parts with one another.

Soon enough the couple hours passed, the snacks were mostly deplenished, and (y/n) was half asleep, eagerly asking him how he liked the movie despite the tears in her eyes that she was still wiping away with the half-used supply of tissues.

He nods back at her, chuckling softly at the sight of her still being so teary eyed when the movie had ended ten minutes ago. Her lip is still wobbly and even as she folds and re-folds the tissue to keep wiping away the trail of tears.

Toge maneuvers onto his side, facing her with a small smile before taking the tissue from her hands.

“Mustard leaf” He says quietly, before reaching back out and drying up the trail of tears that she’d missed, down her cheek, and then along her jaw. She sniffles between a watery giggle.

“Thank you,” Her voice cracks, and she laughs quietly again. “That movie is just too much sometimes,” She explains, and Toge hums in understanding. This wasn’t nearly as bad when they watched Wall-E. “But I love it, what did you think?”

“Salmon roe” He replies with a larger beam, which she mirrors right away, before her head feels a little heavier on his pillow.

“Okay, good,” She murmurs before a yawn overtakes her, and Toge’s eyes widen in realization when she tucks the blanket over her shoulders. She’s going to fall asleep. He starts to move to shake her awake, one hand curling around her shoulder and tugging slightly, but she doesn’t respond to his silent pleas telling her to get up. “I’m really glad you liked it, you can pick the movie next time though”

Toge huffs when she shuts her eyes and nuzzles into the pillow again. It’s no use. She’s already drifting off right in front of him.

“Bonito flakes” He mutters.

“It’s alright,” (y/n) yawns again. “Just wake me up in, like, twenty minutes and I’ll go back to my room so we don’t get in trouble”

Toge already knows how that’s going to go, but she’s out like a light mere seconds later. He hasn’t seen anyone fall asleep so quickly.

With another sigh, he turns off the tv and places the remainder of the tissue package on his nightstand along with the remote. It doesn’t take him long to fall asleep on his back beside her, even when his brain is working overtime trying not to hyperfixate on her leg pressed against his, or her soft breaths fanning over his shoulder as she sleeps.

His dreams are pleasant, with soft swirls of warm colors, sweet sensations of gentle touches and the lingering scent of cherries and vanilla, melodious giggles and whispers made of but sugar coated words. The kind of dreams that you wake up from and wish there were just a few more minutes to latch onto the remnants of the hazy feeling.

As expected, (y/n’s) still there when he wakes up the following morning- not that he’d tried all too hard to send her back to her own room last night. He just couldn’t bear to disrupt her peaceful sleep beyond a few whispers of her name and pokes to her forehead.

She’s awake not long after him, but she settles back into the covers, murmuring a raspy good morning to him. SHe doesn’t seem startled by the surprise sleepover in the slightest, and the nerves Toge had let fester the last ten minutes of sitting awake and waiting for her to wake up.

There were still a few minutes of her being in and out of sleep, but after a while she’s stretching and getting herself out of bed with the promise of grabbing them both pop tarts before they had to start training for the day.

Toge perks up at the prospect of pop tarts, and she giggles at his obvious change in demeanor, before telling him she’ll be quick, and taking off from his room.

He knows he should be rushing around to get ready for the day, but he can’t bring himself to get up from the bed just yet. It’s too warm, too comfortable, too alluring with the lingering scent of cherry vanilla still clinging to the sheets.

His heart feels full as he settles back in for just a few more minutes.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

(y/n) felt love for all of her friends. She always sort of had, it developed not long after meeting each and every one of them. She loved Maki’s ambition, Panda’s humor, Yuuta’s passion, each and every one of them were simultaneously the greatest person she’s ever known. Her friends were her livelihood, her reason for fighting, her reason for trying, she doesn’t think she’d ever be able to repay them for what they’ve done for her. The love she held for them was the purest kind there was.

The love she held for Inumaki Toge was different, though.

She loved Toge the way she loved late spring, with the way the pretty pink cherry blossoms begin to bloom, and the cool breeze turns warm, and suddenly everything doesn’t seem so gloomy and bitter all the time. The sun seems to shine a little brighter and everyone seems to feel a little brighter, too. It was exactly how loving Toge felt.

It was no secret to the others- if it had been, it would’ve been a terribly kept one, seeing as she could barely unglue herself from his side at any time. If he entered a room, she would rush towards him. If he came back from an assignment with an injury- no matter if it was life threatening or just a paper thin slice, she was patching him up with the utmost care Shoko’s infirmary could offer. If Toge wasn’t around, she was texting him everything that was going on to keep him in touch.

There was nothing that brought her peace and joy quite like being around Toge.

She giggles as she tips her cup against her lips, sipping at the remnants of the drink she’d made only fifteen minutes ago. Yuuta was sure to scold her when she wandered her way into the kitchen for the third time in an hour.

Toge’s laughter follows shortly after hers, although he’s not sure what exactly they’re giggling about, he just can’t help himself once she gets going.

His brows pinch together when he shakes his head, trying to ask her what it is that made her giggle fit erupt in the first place. Once she’s calmed down enough to realize this, she grabs him by the shoulder.

At first his expression morphs into surprise, his eyes wide as he stares at her closely, before she’s swiveling him suddenly, guiding his eyes to the sight that was cracking her up.

Panda was in the common room, clearly feeling himself as he danced about, all slow twirls and raised arms. He looks positively ethereal- in that loaded sort of way.

He’s quick to pull out his phone, setting his cup down to use both hands to steady the camera on Panda’s drunken ballet- or, attempt at ballet. (y/n’s) giggling from beside him would definitely be caught in the video later, but neither of them minded, it only added to the humor of it all.

Maki must’ve noticed what they were up to, as she sneakily made her way over to the pill-shaped speaker, where she turned the volume up a few more notches. This only excited Panda, who picked up the pace in his dancing. (y/n) has to smack a hand over her mouth to stifle the cackle that erupts from her throat, but Toge doesn’t match her haste, and his laughter is almost louder than the music itself.

With a gentle smack to his shoulder, (y/n) shoots him a warning look, silently telling him to quiet down before Panda notices their recording.

Of course, Panda’s already noticed, his paws on his hips as he gawks at his so-called friends who were just making fun of him with their less than subtle camera pointed in his direction.

“Laugh it up, at least I’m having fun!” He points an accusatory finger at the two before turning his chin up with a dramatic flair. Toge rolls his eyes, and just as he’s about to end the video, (y/n’s) face pops up on the camera.

“He’s right!” She says, a bit too loudly for standing right in front of him, but drinking always raised her volume. She’s setting her cup down then, before reaching her free hand out to Toge, tugging on his wrist and disrupting the video that was still being recorded. “We should dance!”

“Mustard leaf!?” He replies, and she laughs, knowing it was his way of repeating ‘dance!?’ With uncertainty and surprise.

Her cheeks are pink, and he can’t make out if it’s because of the alcohol in her system, or if it was the brazen invitation of asking him to dance. He’s not given much time to decipher it’s cause before she’s pulling harder at his wrist, and without another moment’s hesitation, Toge pockets his phone and follows her silent plea. Distantly, he realizes she’s never had to work too hard to convince him of anything.

Maybe that was why they were all up far too late drinking together and dancing when they knew damn well that they had training bright and early tomorrow.

Panda’s cheering when (y/n’s) managed to drag Toge all the way into the common room where the music is playing the loudest. He’s already resumed his twirling as if Fleetwood Mac is playing and not Joan Jett, but he’s enjoying himself, and no one is about to ruin his fun… again.

Toge’s never really danced before, besides the occasional sway from side to side, or a head bop. So as soon as she starts swinging her hips and dragging his arm back and forth where she’s still got a grip on his wrist, he goes as stiff as a board.

It doesn’t take long before it dawns on her that he hasn’t been dancing, and she frowns at him, pulling at his arm to get him to come closer so she could talk to him.

“Why won’t you dance with me?” She asks, and it breaks his heart so completely that he can’t hide the way his face falls at her question. (y/n) brightens up immediately, a string of bubbly laughter falling from her lips as she shakes her head. “It’s not hard, just, move,” She says, shuffling her feet from side to side, her hips following in a languid motion. “See?”

He rolls his eyes at her, and she smacks his shoulder with her free hand, her semi-aggressive way of telling him he was making it a bigger deal than necessary, before both of her hands grab at his, and she guides him through the motions more properly.

The song that’s playing is upbeat, so she finds it easy to wave their arms together to the melody, while her hips keep the beat of the bass line. After a few jolty movements on his part, he eventually begins to mirror, and just as she thought, he gets the hang of it and doesn’t look so awkward dancing with her.

(y/n) can’t wipe her grin off her face as she continues to move their hands about in sporadic motions, sometimes to the beat, sometimes at random. Toge just latches his hands onto hers and lets her do whatever she pleases.

She’s never had to talk him into doing anything, he was always following her, whatever she was doing.

“See? It’s fun!” She’s the image of gleeful, twirling herself under one of his arms before prompting him to do the same.

Toge manages a few ‘salmon’s between her antics, before she starts to get more energetic with the beginning of the next song. She claims it’s a classic 2000’s dance beat, and that it would be criminal if they didn’t dance through it, too.

Of course that turned into a third dance, then a fourth, and along with them a few more drinks. They lose track of time, and eventually the rest of the world seems to fall away, too. It’s a Wednesday night- well, early Thursday morning now- but all responsibilities that the day will hold is far from their minds. It’s hard to notice that their friends have even started to wind down. Panda had collapsed on the floor with a pile of empty water bottles surrounding him, currently chugging down another one. Maki was scrolling through her phone nursing her own water, physically present, but too tired to engage in any more activities tonight.

And (y/n) and Toge were dancing around, jumping on their feet and twirling each other about like the night was still young and they had all the energy in the world. Until eventually, Maki had given up on adding anything to the queue, and random songs they’d never heard of were playing, (y/n) still insisted that he stay up with her and keep dancing until they couldn’t anymore.

That was, until Maki retreated to her room for the night, and with her went the music. (y/n) tried her best to plead with her to stay, but unfortunately Maki wasn’t as suggestable to her puppy dog eyes as Toge was.

“(y/n), listen to me closely,” Maki said in an uncharacteristically sweet voice, even going so far as to run a hand through her drunk friend’s hair. Thinking that she was going to stay at the ‘party’- if it could still be called that- (y/n) gleamed up at her with a syrupy smile and heavy eyelids. “Get some water, and get to bed”

(y/n) deflated immediately.

“Makiiii~” She whined, and made another noise of dissatisfaction when she lost the physical affection, too.

“No buts!” Maki quips as she walks away with her phone and powered down speaker in hand. “Toge, if you keep her up, then you’re dealing with the consequences tomorrow!” Maki barks at the other culprit to (y/n’s) deluded party-mode state.

“Salmon!” He hollers back, bringing his hand to his forehead in an all too serious salute. It brings out a load of giggles from (y/n) that has Maki sending one last warning glare at the two before she finally leaves.

Yeah, she absolutely wasn’t dealing with that mess in the mornings.

“She doesn’t hate us,” (y/n) sighs out to Toge, unprovoked, but he can tell she’s completely serious by the way she stares up at him. “She’s just grumpy she has to get up in the morning”

Toge raises his eyebrows with slight concern, before twirling his finger around in a short circle between them.

(y/n’s) jaw drops as she gapes at him.

“I know we do too,” She argues. “But it’ll be fine, I’m used to waking up early”

He gives her a look, but she doesn’t relent in her stare. So he pulls his phone out to show her the time.

2:48 A.M.

But her eyes barely register the hour, instead she’s glued to the wallpaper on his lockscreen, and she’s lighting back up with energy as she reaches for his phone and snatches it before he could react.

It was ridiculous how she maintained her speed and strength even when intoxicated. Toge wondered if it was safe for jujutsu sorcerers to drink this heavily.

“Is this us?” She asks, even though she was currently admiring the photo of the two of them on his lockscreen.

Toge’s quick to zip up his collar in order to hide the heat flushing his cheeks.

“This is so cute!” She delights in the image, cradling his phone in both hands as though to preserve it with great care.

The picture isn’t even new to her, and she’d been the one to take it. A few months ago she’d tried her hand at baking, and had been quite eager to bring a cinnamon cake to a hangout with the rest of their friends. She might’ve promised it before she was certain of her baking abilities, and had required Toge’s help not long into the process. As happy as he was to aid her in her new hobby, he couldn’t help but find humor in just how helpless she seemed to be in the kitchen at first. She hardly even knew her way around the cabinets. Hours later the cake had turned out just fine- their friends had even gone for seconds- but not without it’s difficulties.

Toge had snapped the photo when the cake had just been put into the oven, before they began the tedious cleanup process. She had flour in her hair and some stuck to her cheek. It was a good thing she’d chosen to wear an apron because it was covered in the various ingredients they’d used. But despite the messy state of herself and the kitchen in the background, she was grinning from ear to ear, clearly excited to see the results of her cake soon. Toge’s mirroring the smile, although there’s not a speck on him. After the whole process, he’d managed to keep himself completely clean.

“I didn’t know you made this your wallpaper, that’s really sweet,” She’s handing him his phone back after the torturous few seconds are over, and Toge slips it into his pocket quickly. His blush might’ve been hidden by the collar of his jacket, but it was still made obvious by his shifting eyes that couldn’t quite meet hers.

“That was a really fun day actually, we should bake something together again sometime!” She lights up, and he can tell that she’s already trying to think of something to go make right now. It’s clear she’s already forgotten the time- or maybe she just didn’t care that much. “We could-”

“Tuna tuna” Toge gives her a look, before tapping the back of his wrist a few times, hoping to remind her of the task at hand.

It was no wonder Maki rushed off to her own dorm.

(y/n) huffed in annoyance, but ultimately followed alongside him as he tried ushering her out of the common room and towards the dorms. She stumbled along and tried to slow him down, came up with a few more mumbled excuses to stay up later, all of which were met by quiet chuckles and reminders of ‘tuna’.

It took some ping-ponging down the halls, but eventually he got her to her room, and even though the night was over, she seemed rather pleased to be back in her own room.

“Spicy cod roe” Toge barely mumbles the words out as he’s gesturing about her room to her, before raising his hand to his mouth to mimic drinking a cup of water.

She smiles back at him in perfect understanding before she gives him a nod of her head.

Her movements are lazy as she strolls about the room to get changed into something she can sleep in. Her coordination was less than subpar compared to her usual level of functioning, but that wouldn’t be a problem for another few hours.

It’s not long before there’s a knock on her door, and she’s opening it with the brightness of a christmas tree when Toge is on the other side with two bottles of water.

Wordlessly, she invites him in by stepping aside and pulling the door open further. Toge passes off one of the bottles to her as he does so.

“Are you staying?” She asked, nodding to the bottle still in his hand. “We can watch a movie?” She offers hopefully.

It’s a little past three in the morning now. He tries to give her a look to reminder of this, but she doesn’t seem to care when she sticks her bottom lip out and folds her hands together in a pleading motion.

He sighs, and she brightens up again. It’s almost comical how small but sweet of a smile could have him agreeing to anything. It’s almost as if she’s the one with a cursed technique designed to compel, and not him.

While glancing through the array of dvds on her shelves, Toge wonders what things would be like if the roles had been reversed. If he was the one able to tell her his every thought and feeling as they pass. He wonders if she would have known how he felt about her a long, long time ago.

He’d dealt with his cursed speech in the best way that he could. Of course he didn’t love it, of course things would be easier if he could talk like anyone else, he could gamble a good ninety percent of his life would’ve gone smoother. No more stupid rice ball ingredients, and no more hoping that just a look would be enough to communicate to the girl he loves that he loves her. That he purely, wholly, desperately loves her.

He picks out a dvd and pops it into her player- she’d dragged it back into her room last week after waking him up in the middle of the night because she was in the mood to watch one of her favorites. Once the opening credit scenes start to roll, he finds that she’s already cozied up on one side of the bed, her blanket tucked to her chin, and her water bottle cradled in both of her hands. She smiles when he turns to her, and then pats the space beside her, waiting patiently for him to sit with her.

He lets out a sigh as he sinks into the mattress beside her. He taps his wrist twice before raising his hand and pinching his thumb and forefinger together, an easy way to gesture just for a little bit.

“Okay,” (y/n) nods, then takes the edge of her blanket to throw it over his lap too. “Just for a little bit” Her voice is merely a hum, words slurred together just a little bit, but there’s not a flicker of uncertainty in her features when she gazes upon him.

It’s only a few minutes into the movie when she slumps against him, the entire side of her body pressed into his, from their shoulders to their legs. Toge chuckles as she begins to give in to her exhaustion, and as sweet as it was that she got cuddly when she was drunk and sleepy, he prayed she’d pass out soon so that the morning wouldn’t be so rough. They were well past getting a full eight hours before training tomorrow, and dealing with Gojo alone would be a burden. Not because he would go rough on them- but because as soon as he sniffed out a little bit of a hangover, he’d be relentless with his teasing.

(And he might tack on a few extra laps on the track as minor punishment. Normally no big deal. But when you’re fighting off puking your guts out?)

Toge makes a mental note to have aspirin and a heavy meal ready first thing in the mornings so she could get it all out of her system as quickly as possible. One measly water bottle tonight just wouldn’t cut it.

When her head hits his shoulder in a soft thump, he looks down at her, checking to see if she’s finally fallen asleep. To his surprise, she tilts her head back in order to meet his gaze. Pink dusts over her cheeks and the corners of her mouth tilt upwards, no doubt a reaction from the alcohol in her system and their close proximity.

“You think I could get out of training with a sick day tomorrow?” She murmurs, earning a wince from Toge. She didn’t need words to understand what that meant. “You’re right,” She sighs, briefly turning her attention back to the movie. “Gojo’s gonna fry me”

This time he chuckles, and she glances back at him again.

“Mustard leaf…”

A small giggle escapes her as well, her eyes crinkling despite knowing the fate she would face come tomorrow.

“Maybe I’ll just fess up straight away,” She thinks aloud. “If I cry a bit, he might take pity on me, I dunno,”

Toge struggles to hold eye contact with her, not because the movie was just so enticing he could barely pay attention to her, but quite the opposite. With her cuddled up against his side and whispering so softly right into his ear he could hardly focus on anything other than her. To his knowledge, the rest of the world was completely wiped away. It was an ability she’d somehow mastered unknowingly, making him forget that there was anything else going on around them when the two of them were together.

His heart was pounding so hard in his chest he was sure she must notice, with how close she is, she could probably feel it, but if she does, she doesn’t say a thing.

“Or you could tell him I died,” She adds suddenly, and Toge snorts out a laugh, making her giggle again.

His eyes finally hold contact with hers for longer than a passing second, and she seems to melt further against him. She doesn’t feel heavy against his shoulder, but she might as well be an anchor keeping him trapped in place.

Yeah, there’s not a chance he’ll only be here for a little bit.

“You’d cover for me, right?” She asks, and it’s only meant to be a tease, but Toge raises his free arm that wasn’t being leaned on by hers, and crosses his finger over his heart. “Wow,” (y/n) gushes in her surprise, eyebrows raised and lips curling into a wider smile. She’s so beautiful to him at this moment that he now hopes he’ll be the one to pass out before he does something stupid. “Cross your heart and hope to die, huh?” She muses. “That’s pretty serious”

He scoffs again, barely rolling his eyes, but his attention is drawn back to her again when she shifts around to lay on her side. She’s still very much cuddled up to him, and he can tell she makes an effort to stay that way as she gets comfortable in a new position. She even hooks her ankle over his, a silent ask for him to stay longer. Her cheek leans back into his shoulder soon enough, and he knows he should be leaving when she starts to bat her eyelashes, but even as a Grade Two sorcerer he doesn’t have the strength to do so.

“Can I ask you a real question?”

Everyone’s least favorite question of all time.

Toge affirms with a nod of his head, barely managing a smile to assure her.

“Does it get old?” Her voice grows even softer. “Listening to me talk all the time?”

He shakes his head just as quickly, the smile disappearing as a knot forms between his pinched brows. She gives him a wobbly smile, feeling a bit endeared by how quickly he tried to tell her otherwise.

“Really?” She asks, still a bit unsure. “Sometimes I try to shut my mouth, I… I don’t want to make you feel like you’re stuck listening to me all the time, but, uh, I can’t help it sometimes. I… really like talking to you” She’s rambling before she knows it- and then blushing at the irony of it all.

His smile returned then, stretching wide until his teeth were showing, and he was laughing quietly at her. Not to be malicious, of course, he was simply amused and absolutely lovestruck by the sweet admission. Toge reached out, affectionately touching the pad of his thumb to her chin, before he shifted around to get his phone out of his pocket.

This didn’t call for rice ball ingredients, or small gestures to convey what he was thinking. He’d need to communicate properly to her with how much he’d have to say.

(y/n) watched on as he opened his notes app and began to type.

it could never get old. i like listening to you talk :)

It makes her heart stutter in her chest, but she can’t help the giggle that escapes her when he adds a little emoji, too. Toge spaces down to a new line before typing more.

does it get old that i can’t talk with you the same way?

He watches as her eyes scan over the screen quickly, before she turns to him and shakes her head.

“Of course not,” She tells him right away. “I- I think we understand each other just fine… don’t we?”

It dawns on her that they’ve never really talked about this before. Even when they first met, it was like she was told he had cursed speech and she took it upon herself to learn how he communicated as quickly as possible. Perhaps all that time she spent around him those first few months after her enrollment were what led to their closeness now. Saying she was headstrong in being able to understand him would have been an understatement. She had constantly been picking up on the subtleties between his rice ball ingredients, or paying attention to every hand movement or direction of his gaze to know what he was talking about.

And it was a very, very rare case when she couldn’t understand him. Toge could hardly recall a time it had happened.

He sets his phone down on his lap, nodding his head back at her as his eyes shifted between hers. Her lashes hung heavy, eyelids almost falling shut with every blink, but she wasn’t giving into sleep just yet.

She mirrors his nod with a short one of her own, her eyes filled with an emotion he can’t say he’s ever seen in her before. He studies it curiously, forgetting any sense of embarrassment from staring at her so blatantly… but then again, she wasn’t exactly shying away either. Was it the alcohol?

“Toge,” His name falls from her lips in a mere breath, so small her mouth hardly moves, so quiet it almost doesn’t grace his ears. “I… I hope you know you can tell me anything… anytime…”

It’s such a sweet admission that he can’t help but reach out to her again, his thumb touching her chin in the way he usually does when he’s teasing her, but now it feels… different. His touch lingers, and the look in his eyes feels heavier than she’s used to. She’s flustering suddenly, her heartbeat picking up in pace, her face feeling even hotter the longer she holds his stare. After another prolonged minute of his touch to her face, she finds herself reaching up for his hand, cupping the back of it and holding it there for just a few moments longer.

And then comes a delicate, carefully worded whisper on his part.

“I know”

He pauses for a few seconds after he says it, just to be sure there were no lasting effects left on her. Just as he expected, those words didn’t seem to hold any cursed energy, and she didn’t seem paralyzed or compelled in the slightest. She simply smiles back at him, her eyelashes batting a few more times.

“Okay, good,” She murmurs, before tucking herself closer to him, nuzzling her head into his chest to get comfortable.

She’s long forgotten the movie that was playing, and honestly, so had he. Toge knows now it’s only a matter of minutes before she’s finally knocked out. With a yawn, she finally drops her hand from his, but Toge opts to leave it in it’s place, carefully cradled under her jaw, his thumb swiping over her cheekbone in slow and lazy movements.

“Just stay the night, ‘kay?” She mumbles into his shirt, throwing her free arm over his waist. “If someone notices, I’ll take the blame,” She says, and then quickly adds, “But no one will”

His chest vibrates beneath her when he chuckles, and she merely smiled to herself as sleep finally overcomes her.

Toge hesitates on moving to turn off the tv. Any one wrong move and he’d risk waking her, and he certainly didn’t want to do that. So with drawn out movements, he carefully gets the tv turned off, and places the remote on the nightstand.

(y/n) doesn’t wake up, to his luck, she doesn’t even stir. She’s sound asleep, dead weight like a rock on top of him. But a welcome rock she was.

He didn’t even mind having to sleep in a half seated position, or the fact that the arm she’s laying on is starting to prickle with pins and needles. None of it matters when he can faintly feel her heart beating against his chest, right beside his.

Toge only got a hair of sleep that night, but even during the rough training session the following morning, all he could think about was how soft her hair felt when he’d run his hand through it.

If what came after falling in love was a crash landing, he was definitely nearing the ground.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

When he first comes to, all Toge can barely make out is the dim light above him. His mind is hazy, a swarm of disconnected thoughts like ‘where am I?’ and ‘why are the lights so dim in Shoko’s infirmary?’. Nothing really makes sense until the haze begins to clear.

The next sense to come back was his hearing, and he wished it had taken a little longer because it wasn’t pleasant.

At first it’s just a sharp ringing, distant at first, like someone blowing a whistle far away from here. But it didn’t take long for it to grow nearer and nearer, until eventually it was right in front of him, breaking through to let him take in the other sounds around him.

Whimpering. Soft weeping, maybe. Quiet, like the owner of the quiet cries, was trying not to wake him.

Then it was sniffling, also quiet and contained. So faint he could just barely make it out, but paired with the cries, it wasn’t hard to understand what was going on.

He has to squeeze his eyes shut after the short exposure to the yellow light, but soon enough he’s forcing them open again. This time he’s greeted with the blurry silhouette of the crier.

“(y/n)-”

It’s no surprise his throat is so dry and raw that he feels blood pool on his tongue as soon as he rasps out her name, but it was enough to capture her attention, so he tries to ignore the pain for now.

A hushed “Ohmygod” is whispered under her breath so fast her lips barely move, before she’s a blurry mess of movements above him. His eyes can’t track everything, but he thinks her hands are shaking around his face from the tapping over her fingertips on his cheeks. “You’re- you’re awake?” She mumbles out, a hint of a whimper still trembling in her voice.

Just as he parts his lips to give her an affirmative response, her eyes widen, and her fingertips press further into his cheeks until he can feel the full length of her fingers against his skin. They’re still shaking, but her touch is warm.

“Wait, don’t say anything, I’m sure your throat’s a mess right now,” Even when she’s not sniffling over her words, they’re watery, just a little bit stuck in her throat. “But you’re- you’re awake,” She repeats, a smile briefly stretching on her lips, before it quickly falls back into that wobbly frown. His vision begins to focus when he settles it there, hoping it’ll disappear into another smile again.

Why was she such a wreck? She’d never cried over him before, and he’s been injured plenty of times, Toge couldn’t wrap his mind around it. It was making it harder to fight past the hazy state of waking up.

There were small, wet splashes against his face that startled him enough to change his focus, eyes suddenly moving his line of sight upwards, finding her eyes were in fact full of tears, and most of them were streaming down her face. He can’t say or do much, but concern is evident on his face.

“Are you in pain? Does anything hurt?” She wipes uselessly at the tears on her face when she speaks. The dry patches were just as quickly replaced by more streaks of tears.

Toge shakes his head, although it’s not a complete truth. His head is still spinning, the metallic taste of blood was burning the scratches in his throat, but most peculiar was the dull ache of his left arm. It wasn’t a sharp pain, or even enough to bring a tear to his eye, and yet the throbbing of it captured all of his attention. He couldn’t not think about it. Was it broken? Why hadn’t Shoko healed it? It never feels like this after her Reverse Cursed Technique…

“Okay,” (y/n) whimpers, sniffling before she speaks again. “Okay, that- that’s good, that’s good…” Her voice grows quiet, and Toge’s shaking his head at her again, trying to voice his confusion with this whole ordeal, trying to ask her what was wrong.

All he can do is twitch his right hand until she notices, and as soon as she turns her head, she picks his hand up in both of hers. She’s swift but gentle, cradling it as if his bones would shatter from a movement too rough. He tries to curl his fingers around hers, but it takes too much effort, so he goes to bring his other hand around hers as well.

A strained gasp escapes him when he lifts his left arm, his eyes shooting open from the pain and difficulty of the action, neck swiveling to see what was so wrong that he couldn’t do something so simple as to hold her hand and comfort her.

They’re both frozen when he finally looks at his left arm. Or, lack thereof.

(y/n’s) crying seems to cease completely as she holds her breath, and Toge’s chest is moving rapidly, but his inhales and exhales are nearly silent.

When he looks up at her again, she brings a hand to her mouth, stifling the sob that shakes her entire body as she begins to cry again, just as hard as she had when she’d found him.

“I’m- I’m sorry,” Is what she says first, it’s all that really comes to mind at first, she doesn’t know where to begin, how she’s supposed to explain it to him, what the gentle way of proceeding was.

She almost wished someone was here now, but there wasn’t. There was no one. Everyone was either missing, or had died in the aftermath, there was only the two of them. The world had shrunk down to leave just the two of them it seemed- and they weren’t allowed their peace.

“Shibuya- it’s- when I found you-” She tries, she really does, but so many words flood her mind at once that they get lodged in her throat, and she’s never really learned how to navigate this sort of thing before. This was always Gojo’s job, or Nanami’s…

With a deep breath, (y/n) straightens her posture as she’s kneeled beside Toge on the ground, and she gives his hand a small squeeze.

“Without a Reversed Curse Technique, I did the best that I could,” She says, a little bit more clearly, but not without a few hiccups. “The runes on the wrappings should keep it from getting infected, at the very least,”

Toge looks back at his left side again, taking in a long, good look at the missing space where the rest of his arm used to be. Then his gaze shifts upwards, where what’s left of his bicep is wrapped in perfect bindings. It appears every inch of the gauze is covered in neatly drawn runes.

How long had this taken her? How long had he been out?

“It’s been a couple of days,” She sighs, pushing a hand through her hair and slouching again. “It’s not… great, as you can see,” She adds, gesturing around them.

It’s only then that Toge’s really taken in their surroundings. They’re in a tent, that’s just big enough for the two of them. The shitty light his eyes had adjusted to was just a lantern tied around the center post.

“But it’s worked for now… I’ve been out a few times, there’s water, um, some food…” She trails off as she’s glancing around, already losing pace and barely keeping up with what she’s saying. What was she supposed to say? “I… I haven’t crossed paths with anyone else yet”

Toge’s hand twitches in hers, fingers flexing for a moment before he pulls it out of her hold. It’s slow and shaky when he brings his hand to her face, but he is able to make the reach. She leans closer to him so he wouldn’t have to stretch too much. Toge presses the entirety of his palm into her cheek, fingertips prodding at her hairline, thumb tracing against her cheekbone.

That wobbly smile returns when she presses her palm against the back of his hand. She’s still crying, but it seems a little more under control. He wonders if she’s even aware of the never ending tears, or if she’s grown used to it.

“Thank you”

A watery scoff of a laugh escapes her, and then she shakes her head at him.

“You shouldn’t be thanking me,” She mumbles, and his thumb begins to drag lower, across the hollow of her cheek, coming to the corner of her mouth.

He nods his head to make his argument, a furrow in his brows that tells her he’s serious, but she doesn’t seem to take him as such.

“We’re in the middle of nowhere,” She sniffles. “There’s barely any food, I’ve been in this ruined uniform for days, all of our friends are missing and the strongest sorcerer in the world is in the prison realm, you’re hurt, and it very well may be the end of the world-”

He has to drop his hand from her face in order to have the strength to push himself into a sitting position, but once he does he’s just as quick to bring it back.

She’s crying too much to keep adding to her list of everything that’s gone wrong in the last few days, but this time Toge tries to wipe the tears away as he shushes her softly. It takes a few minutes, but eventually the tears come to a stop, and Toge drops his hand again.

This time he makes a gesture to her. It’s drawn out, despite it being a simple one. He points his finger out, touching it to her collarbone, then his eyes meet hers again, and they’re tearing up again. He frowns. Then taps her shirt a few more times, trying to make his point clearer.

You’re still here.

He can only hope that more taps will make sense to her.

The corner of (y/n’s) lips tilt upwards, and he thinks with the amount of emotions flickering behind her eyes, that understanding is amongst them.

“I’m glad you’re here… with me,” She mumbles out. “I don’t know what I would’ve done….” The thought trails off with her words, and she turns her head away, chewing on the inside of her cheek. The exhale she lets out instead is slow, and shaky.

Toge lifts his hand to turn her chin back towards him, a frown on his face as his eyes meet hers.

Again, he points at her, but this time he presses the pad of his finger square against her chin, and then turns it towards himself, mirroring the touch to his own chin. A crease forms between her brows, and he repeats it- tapping her chin twice with a featherlight touch, and then his own.

We’re both still here.

Weakly, another smile graced her lips. She understood.

“Whatever is next, we take on together… yeah?” She asks him, her voice hushed, a certain anxiety filling her chest with a crawling feeling, but Toge’s response couldn’t have eased it away faster.

He nods, leaning in closer, bringing his hand back to her cheek so he could tilt her head downward just the slightest, enough for him to brush his lips over her forehead in a light kiss. So light if she wasn’t staring at him with wide eyes, she might’ve missed it altogether.

Like a deer caught in headlights, she holds her stare even once Toge’s pulled away. Her parted lips holding no definitive emotion, he’s not exactly sure what she’s thinking when she stares at him like that, but he doesn’t feel any regret from the action. They were all they had now, and there might not be any amount of comfort to delude them into thinking things were going to turn out perfectly fine, but they could certainly try. Perhaps they could go just a few minutes at a time feeling some relief.

They weren’t alone. And despite it all, they were alive. At this moment anyways, Toge couldn’t ask for more.

With the backs of her hands, (y/n) roughly wipes away the lingering tears on her face, before she reaches out to him. Just as her hands cradle around his face, he’s meeting her halfway, eyes shut before their lips even touch.

As hasty as it is, it’s a tender kiss. Neither one of them wanted to move too fast at the risk of bumping an injury, but the years of pent up emotions came pouring out of it nonetheless. Her calloused and bruised hands somehow feel silky smooth when they glide over his jaw. Any fears or pains melt away under the gift of her soft kiss. Toge could almost forget all of it, just for that moment.

When she pulls away, quietly panting to catch her breath after holding it the entirety of the kiss, the unreadable look on her face fades away into something else. Bittersweet relief.

Her eyes shift between his, finding the same emotion in them that she’s currently feeling. Affectionately, her thumbs trace over the markings on either side of his mouth. There’s a moment of silence between them as they bask in the first pleasant moment they’d had in a while. It’s no surprise that it’s only come when they’re together.

“We’ll find the others,” (y/n) murmurs assuredly after a minute. “We’ll figure it out,” And as she says it, she starts to believe it, slowly but surely she pulls herself out of her cynicism, hope and certainty replacing it when she looks at him. “Together”

His own hand slides across her cheek and wraps comfortably at the nape of her neck, holding her delicately but closely. Toge nods, smiling back at her with as much conviction as he could.

“Together”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[ it’s a cruel, cruel world, but we don’t care // cause what we’ve got, we’ve got to share ]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

xoxo ~ jordie a/n: for anyone who got the little miss sunshine edit mwah mwah mwah bc it's a comfort movie of mine <3

#inumaki toge x reader #toge x reader #inumaki x reader #toge inumaki x reader #toge inumaki #inumaki toge #inumaki toge imagine #toge inumaki imagine #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #inumaki toge x reader fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk imagine #jujutsu kaisen imagine

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seventeenreasonswhy · 3 months ago

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Super Shy ~ A JWW School-Life Romance Pt. 2

Star Athlete!Wonwoo x Shy Wallflower!Reader

Jeon Wonwoo... THE Jeon Wonwoo is... paying attention to you!?

~700 words

read Part 1 here

Series content: fluff, first crush plot line, school-life anime vibes, slow burn/yearning, some light angst, classmates to friends to lovers, fem reader, reader is ~*super shy*~ and has low self-esteem, reader is kind of bullied (?), sweetie pie Wonwoo, appearances by Choi Hansol and more!, all characters are in high school so no explicit content (but probably kissing eventually).

My Masterlist

Author’s note: Thank you to everyone who read, reblogged, and liked Part 1!! This is a short Part 2, but the tension is setting in! I’m excited to hear what you think of this progression! Wonwoo is so school life anime leading man, I can’t!!! Enjoy!! 😊

Taglist: @clownprincehoeshi @soffiyuhh @wonwoos-wineparty @hamji-hae @junniesoleilkth @seokqt @haniinah-blog @yangtyunhannie @cherrylovescheol @lukeys-giggle @cookiearmy @sojuxxi @vixensss @lixisoul99 @mjpark15 @lelsforlino @neivivenaj (lmk if you want to be added to the taglist!)

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

You liked to eat your lunch on the roof, even when it was kind of cold outside like today. It gave you a view of the campus—of the whole town, really. Everything felt more peaceful up there. You even dozed off sometimes, narrowly making it back to class in time.

You were lying down, looking up at the clouds and thinking about what kind of day-old snacks your uncle might be trying to get rid of at the convenience store tomorrow when you heard the door to the roof creak open. You bolted upright, looking behind you.

It was Jeon Wonwoo.

“Oh, you’re up here,” he said. “Sorry, I thought it’d be empty up here.” You stood up quickly and faced him, hastily brushing off your skirt. Your heart was pounding.

“Oh,” you said, unsure how to respond. “It’s okay, I’ll let you have it.” You started to gather up your things.

“No, no, it’s okay,” he said, taking wide strides toward you now as if he were going to get between you and your bag on the ground. You instinctively backed away from him but immediately regretted it, seeing that he stopped short.

“You were up here first,” he said, letting out a puff of laughter and gesturing for you to sit back down. His tone was so gentle... you decided to slowly sit back down.

He turned to look at the view of the town, taking a deep breath.

“It’s nice and quiet up here,” he said. You just nodded, so nervous you were unable to talk.

C’mon Y/N, relax! He’s just a classmate! This is normal! Be normal!! Your thoughts grew frantic, but Wonwoo simply took a seat, letting his long legs splay out a short distance away but still next to you. You watched as he took another deep breath and continued to gaze out at the view. He seemed content to just sit there in silence, flooding you with a sense of relief.

A few moments passed, the two of you just sitting there, taking in the view of the sky and allowing the cool, early-spring breeze to wash over you. Your heartrate started to slow back down.

You kept stealing glances at Wonwoo, hoping that he didn’t notice. He seemed deep in thought. Not to mention he kept taking deep breaths. Was something the matter? Should you ask him? No, it’s definitely none of my business, you thought. We don’t know each other like that. Anyway, if you were going to say something to him, it should be ‘thank you’ for helping with the whole homework-copying thing that morning.

But before you could muster up the courage to speak, the bell rang.

“Oh, wow,” Wonwoo said, glancing back toward the stairs, “I didn’t even realize the time was passing.” He laughed quietly, then looked right at you.

“Y/N,” he said, and your stomach lurched.

“...Yes?” you wished your voice would come out more confidently.

“Do you always spend lunch up here?” Wonwoo was looking at you so straightforwardly that it took you a second to understand him.

“Uh,” you started, unable to avoid feeling like a loser but also unable to avoid telling him the truth, “yeah, pretty much.”

“Mind if I join you next time?”

You could only gape at him like an idiot. Were you hearing him correctly?

“I mean, I understand if you’d rather be alone!” he added before you could even comprehend him, either ignoring or not minding your blatantly shocked reaction, “I don’t mean to intrude.”

“Oh, no...” you said, struggling to find the words and worried that you were coming off as standoffish. “I don’t mind.” You finally said, still not really able to make direct eye contact with him.

“Thanks,” he said, “it’s nice to just sit up here with you.”

Your face must have turned a dozen different shades of red, and you were relieved that he took that moment to turn toward the stairwell.

“See ya,” he said, waving at you over his shoulder.

You could only continue to stare blankly after him. You were probably going to be late for class, but you didn’t even care. It was like you were living in a dream.

Starting today, Jeon Wonwoo was going to spend time quietly sitting on the roof with you at lunchtime...!?

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orions-choker · 4 months ago

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The Killing Moon (Werewolf!James Hetfield x Reader NSFW)

Werewolf!James Hetfield, Rough Sex, Size Difference, Forest Sex, Big Dick, Werewolf sex

Word Count: 5,831

Reader is tired of living in this dreary damp town with stories of monsters in the forests. Lucky for her James is the only monster out to get her.

(Cross posted to AO3, this is just Werewolf!James smut, ty ty)

Rain drummed against the roof in endless waves. It had been weeks since this town had seen sun. Streets cast in a perpetual blue haze, water collected in murky pools, the ground growing soft and muddy. The clouds only cleared at night, allowing the cool rays of the moon to greet the earth once again.

Y/N hated it. Each day she regretted moving here for college. This little rundown town was just a twenty minute drive from her college campus, rent was cheap and she thought she needed a change of pace, god was she wrong.

She had moved here two months ago now, each day more painful than the last. Growing pains, that's what she called it, she was homesick, no friends, a multitude of reasons why she couldn’t make this place her home. Now she was convinced it really was her own personal slice of hell.

With a groan she rummaged for her key ring, deep in her raincoat pocket. Fumbling she finally found it, shoving the correct key into the lock and sliding the door open. As she stepped inside she pulled her hood down, shaking the water from her body as best she could. The building was dark and empty. She hated opening shifts. What kind of place opens at four in the morning?

This was the only job she was able to land here, a little run down convenience store and gas station on the outskirts of town, just bordering the deep forest. Truly it was always dead, except for the occasional farmer who preferred driving the deep dirt roads than venturing into town for their jerky and gas. She had to be here at three-thirty each morning, it seemed redundant when all she had to do was flick the lights on and turn the open sign, but hey it paid the bills.

She shuffled behind the counter, flicking on the coffee pot that was already set up and ready to brew. Her next order of business was to check the expiration dates of the coolers, turn the lights on, and sit there for the next eight hours buried in her book.

It was still dark outside, the sun not yet cresting upon the mountains. She hated being out here all alone in the dark. Her eyes darted to the corner of the store, ensuring the old shotgun still rested there. Even under normal circumstances she would hate being out in the dark, outside of an expansive unknown forest all by herself. But the situation was not made any better by the rumors swirling around town.

It was typical animal attacks, hikers going missing, pieces of flesh and blood found deep within the forest trails. Classic horror movie shit. The rational part of Y/N reasoned it was bears. Hell there were a lot of bears out here, she had them in her backyard on more than one occasion and she actually lived within town limits. But the townsfolk were not so sure, as an outsider Y/N was inclined to believe they were fucking with her. But the more she heard the tales of beasts, not human, not animal, deep within the forests and mountains in these parts, the more she believed.

With a shiver she poured herself a hot cup of coffee, warming her hands on the steam that drifted up. She had seen it, she was sure, the glow of inhuman blue eyes following her, through her backdoor window at home. The low rumbling of a growl from the brush each morning she came to work. Whatever it was it never got close, stalking her like prey, waiting for the right moment to pounce. She hated this town.

Tucking her hair behind her ears, Y/N pulled her book from her bag. She settled into the worn chair behind the counter, kicking her legs up as she flipped to her bookmark. There was a pleasant hum from the staticky radio in the corner as she sipped slowly on her hot drink. The nice thing about this job is it gave her plenty of time to read, to study, and finish homework.

Slowly as she turned the pages the dim lightning of the early morning sun rose through the windows of the store, still filtered by the dark rain clouds. Any light outside was better than nothing though. It was nearly six in the morning, three hours after she had gotten here before she heard the rattling of a truck coming down the road, her first customer of the day.

Y/N placed the book down, eyes drifting up to the window before widening in surprise. She stood up suddenly, body stiffening as she watched the driver hop out. A tall mess of blonde hair, tight jeans and denim vest. James. The only good part about her time spent here was this boy.

James was the second eldest son of one of the town's farmers, a family long rooted in the history here, one of the backbones of the entire town. Apparently the Hetfield family had been here since the first settlements, spanning two hundred years back. Safe to say everyone here knew them, respected them.

He was different though, more wild, untamed. James was very vocal about his intentions, he wanted to leave this fucking town behind, move down to california and join the music scene there. Y/N wasn’t sure what was stopping him but she wasn’t complaining if it meant she got to spend more time with him. He was the closest thing she had to a friend.

The door bounced open and much like a puppy James came barreling towards the counter. “Mornin’ Y/N!” He greeted her with an untapped amount of enthusiasm, his voice a little gravely and low from sleep still. He leaned over the counter into her personal space with a wide smile, all teeth.

“Take it down a notch James, waaay too loud for six in the morning.” Y/N groaned with a smile, reaching forward to playfully push his head away. “What’s got you all excited this morning?” She asked as she moved languidly to the coffee pot, preparing his usual order with practiced ease.

James whined as he was pushed away, following her down the counter to watch her work. “Goin’ hunting this morning.” He explained, reaching out to gratefully take the to-go cup from her hands. She never charged him for the coffee. “Been awhile since I blew off some steam.” He mimicked the shooting of a gun.

No matter how much he complained about living here, there were still some things permanently ingrained into him, the love for old trucks, dirt roads, and shooting guns. Normally Y/N would never be into the whole americana lifestyle, but something about James was just so endearing she couldn’t help but gravitate towards him. She shuddered, sticking her tongue out. “God you can be so barbaric sometimes.”

“Gotta eat somehow.” James shrugged, leaning casually against the counter. His piercing blue eyes traveled up and down her body and she shivered under his gaze. He often had that effect on her. He looked at her like he was going to eat her. “You should really come with me sometime Y/N.” He hummed, shooting her smile.

Y/N shook her head quickly. “No thank you, I like not seeing the meat I eat being killed, I need that disconnect or else I’d be a vegetarian.” She frowned at the idea of taking the life of a living breathing creature. “Plus too much shit goes down in those forests, I worry about you going out there.” She tapped her fingers against the counter anxiously.

James scoffed, “Don’t tell me you actually believe all that bulllshit,” He laughed deeply. He rummaged around in the pockets of his jeans for his wallet, pulling out a couple twenties for his gas. “There's nothing supernatural out there.” He wiggled his fingers playfully. “Nothing spooky about dumbass hikers who don't know the trails getting lost or animals eating each other.”

“Fuck off show some sympathy, those people had families.” Y/N groaned, her fingers aggressively pressing against the till as she retrieved his change. “I’m just telling you to be careful James, let me care about you.” She frowned, shoving the coins into his hand.

His eyes softened, fingers grazing hers briefly. “Fine, fine I’m sorry, I’ll be fine Y/N.” He sighed in defeat. “You don’t have to be worried about me getting hurt out there, trust me.” There was something predatory behind his words that sent an uneasy feeling crawling up Y/N’s spine.

Pressing her lips into a thin smile she nodded at him. “You better, your the only person worth staying around for in this fucking place.” She joked. She waved at him through the window as she watched him fill his tank before hopping back into his truck, instead of turning around and driving back down the road he drove further into the forest road.

The rest of Y/N’s shaft dragged on, relief flooding her body as she saw her replacement enter. Another young girl, a highschooler, she was the granddaughter of the owner. Y/N didn’t like that such a young girl worked the closing shift but at the same time she knew these parts better than Y/N did and seemed unfazed by the spookiness of it all. Y/N was quick to sling her bag over her shoulder and book it out the door to her car.

She had classes this afternoon that if she was being honest she didn’t want to attend, but any moment she spent outside of this town was worth it. The college town wasn't much bigger, but certainly filled with more life. It was always refreshing to see people her own age wandering around, familiar name brand stores lining the streets, unfortunate that the rent to stay here was astronomical.

Her classes didn’t end until eight that night, sky already darkened once again as she got back in her car. God she missed the sun, she never got to see it anymore. The drive back was always the worst, transitioning from well lit highway roads to dark, twisting tree lined roads. Y/N shuddered as she flipped her high beams on to see better.

It was then, out of the corner of her eye she saw it, the flash of a deer bounding across the road, being followed by something…big. Bigger than any wild animal she had seen before, bigger than the grizzlies in her yard. A wolf, a dusty yellow color, huge, nearly as big as her car. She screeched, hands gripping the steering wheel as she turned away from the animals.

Her car skidded as it went down the side of the road, riding in the shallow ditch until it came to a complete stop, sputtering. Her eyes were wide, chest heaving aggressively as she attempted to take back her air. She looked around, the road completely dead aside from her shining headlights. No sign of the animal she had just seen. Had she imagined it?

Y/N swallowed heavily before reaching down to put her car in reverse. Her tires spun helplessly before she gave up. Of course she got stuck, just her fucking luck. She groaned, head falling forwards to smash against the steering wheel, the sad sound of her horn going off echoed in the dead night.

Slowly she turned her car off removing the keys from the ignition. She threw the door open, stumbling on the uneven ground as she crawled out. The idea of hitchhiking wasn't too thrilling to her, but surely someone would be coming down this road at some point.

The air was cool against her skin, freezing raindrops fell against her skin. Y/N shivered, cursing herself for not bringing her jacket with her. Hesitantly she started walking, arms curled around herself in an attempt to stay warm, his long hair growing damp and sticking to her forehead.

It was silent, too silent. Not a single sound from the forests surrounding the roads. The trees were never quiet, not a single chirp of a bird, hoot of an owl, crunching of leaves or sticks, nothing. Completely silent aside from her own heavy breathing. “Fuck,” She mumbled, eyes darting to the side as she stared into the dark abyss.

She saw it then, those blue eyes, gleaming under the glow of the moonlight. She could see more this time, large snarling jaws, drool dripping from the jowls. It was unmistakably the same creature that stalked her outside her home, the same one that had just run across the road. A wolf, no, a monster. She stumbled backwards onto the road, falling on her ass as a scream ripped its way violently from her throat.

Her shrieking seemed to stop the creature for a moment, its mouth snapping closed, ears twitching lightly before it turned, diving deep into the forest. Y/N’s eyes stayed fixated on the spot it once stood, shock and horror etched into her face. Her nails dug against the asphalt beneath her until the flesh surrounding was bleeding. Scrambling to her feet she booked it, running down the road with adrenaline coursing through her veins.

It seemed as though she ran forever before she saw any signs of life, headlights barrelling towards her on the other side of the road. She ran towards the middle of the road, waving her hands wildly to grab the driver's attention. The night air filled with the sound of brakes screaming as the truck came to a halt just inches before her. She knew this truck.

“Holy fuck, Y/N? Are you okay what the fuck are you doing?” James' panicked voice hit her ears as the driver's side door was pushed open violently. James looked wild, pupils blown wide, skin red and blotchy, his clothes disheveled caked in mud. Tears sprung to her eyes as Y/N tossed herself at the man. “Fuck get in, get in.” He hurried, taking her around the side and shoving her into the passenger seat.

Quickly he hopped back in the truck, with a rev of the engine James pulled a sharp u turn, getting them back on the road towards town. His brows were furrowed, jaw locked tight as he gripped the steering wheel. Seeing him closer now Y/N noticed light scrapes and dirt embedded into his skin.

“What are you doin out here, how did you know?” She whispered gently, worried that her voice would only fuel his anger. Her hands shook as she clutched at her soaked arms, her hair dripping against the leather seats. The only other sound, the whooshing of the windshield wipers working overtime to combat the now heavy rain.

James didn’t respond for a long moment, clenching and unclenching his hands on the steering wheel as he calmed himself. He looked at her from the corner of his eyes, the glint of the moonlight catching them and all Y/N could think was how familiar those eyes looked. Not in the way they usually did, they didn’t look like James’s eyes. “I stopped by your place to drop off some groceries, you weren't home, it was late.” He said carefully, it was off putting James never struck her as a careful man.

Y/N nodded, mind whirling with thoughts. She didn’t want to seem ungrateful but she was sure she had never had him stop by before, how did he know where she lived? “I saw it, I think.” She mumbled, eyes trained on the road as they entered town, she had been so close. “The monster they say is out in the woods.”

She could see his body tense beside her, he took a sharp turn down her road. “There’s no monster out there Y/N, it was probably a bear, you're lucky nonetheless.” His voice was harsh, biting like the cold winds that whipped the side of the car. The truck jumped across the bump dirt road, jostling over each rock as they passed by her neighbors houses.

“No, No this wasn't a bear James.” She shook her head, whipping water everywhere across the interior of the vehicle. “It was a wolf I think, but huge, it stared right at me.” She explained as the truck lurched to a stop in front of her home. She was still shaking as she looked up to James, the truck going silent as he put it in park.

Wordlessly he hopped out, moving around to the side to pop her door open and help her out. He walked her inside, oddly she didn’t think she left the door unlocked. Her house was dark as the two entered. James sat her down on the couch, shrugging his heavy denim jacket off and wrapping it around her shoulders. “Y/N.” He said softly, placing his hands on her shaking shoulders. “There's no monsters in the woods, you’re fine, you’re safe, get some sleep.” Finally he smiled at her for the first time that night. His teeth seemed bigger, sharper. “I’ll swing by in the morning and we can go pull your car out of the ditch, kay?”

All Y/N could bring herself to do was nod slowly. Eyes wide as she watched James leave her house. How, how did he know where she lived, how did he get in, most importantly how did he know she had driven her car into the ditch. She had been far down the road by the time he showed up.

Her sleep was restless that night, each slumbering moment filled with flashing images of those big teeth, those eyes, and James. He had never made her feel unsafe, so why was his presence so terrifying now? She woke that moment to gentle rapping on her front door. She rolled out of bed, hair frizzy and wild, deep purple bags under her eyes.

Shuffling across the wooden floor in her fuzzy socks, she hesitantly opened the door. To her surprise she was greeted by the sun. Warm rays cascading down across her and warming her skin, golden light filtered through, creating an almost angelic halo around the man standing in front of her.

James looked far more put together than she did at that moment, his regular goofy smile plastered on his face. He was dressed for the weather, in nothing more than a tank top, jeans and some sweatbands. She figured it was still too cold outside for that. She noticed his truck running behind him as he hadn’t bothered turning it off. “Morning sunshine’ ready to get going?” He teased her.

His enthusiasm was infectious and she smiled back at him, albeit wearily. “I’m not even dressed James.” She complained as she slipped on a worn pair of sneakers. Reaching behind her to tie her wild hair back into a messy ponytail with the scrunchy that never left her wrist. She grabbed his jacket off the hanger on her wall, going to hand it back to him but he shook his head, gesturing for her to put it on. She wouldn't complain, it was perfectly oversized, comfy and smelt like pine, dirt and charcoal, like James.

“You can go back to bed once we get that car off the road. Wouldn't want anyone trying to steal it.” He opened the passenger door for her. Holding her hand to help her climb in. “Coffee?” He offered her a to-go cup in the center console as he hopped in. She nodded gratefully and took a long sip. He remembered the way she liked it. She sighed, leaning her head back against the headrest.

A hesitant silence fell over them, the questions Y/N had from last night still circling the tip of her tongue. “James.” She started cautiously. “I’m…confused, I, how did you know where I lived last night, how did you know about my car?” She asked, fear laced her words as she saw a flash of anger pass over his face.

The silence continued, James tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek as he drove towards the sight of the crash. “I saw it, the crash.” He explained voice was a bit strained. He sounded…worried. “And i've uh…followed you home before.”

Y/N turned her body to him, confused. Despite the weird admission she couldn’t bring herself to be afraid. “What do you mean you saw it? You didn’t come until later.” She asked incredulously. They were pulling over across from her car still in place from last night.

James shook his head, looking towards her with the guilt of a kicked puppy. “No I was, there I saw it…I caused it.” He admitted, his thumbs nervously rubbing across the leather of the steering wheel. “I uh, when you've heard…the stories of the monsters in these woods, what do they usually call them.”

“Werewolves.” Y/N whispered in disbelief. It clicked, her eyes dropping from his blonde hair, to those damn eyes. It was him. “Holy fuck.” She gasped, pressing herself as far as she could into the door of the truck, hands frantically attempting to unlock her seatbelt.

A pained look came across James face. His hand raised in surrender. “Please, Y/N, hey just calm down I’m not going to hurt you, I never have before have I?” He tried to reason with her. He looked more vulnerable than she felt at the moment.

Y/N’s voice raised, her breath quickening on the verge of a panic attack. “You, you stalked me outside, my house, the hikers, oh my god the hikers.” Tears welled up in her eyes. She curled into herself in an attempt to protect herself from the man across from her. The sweet man who looked scared himself right now. How could he look at her like that?

“Fuck, Y/N can you let me explain please?” He pleaded, his hands went to reach for her but he stopped himself short, pulling back to make sure he didn't frighten her further. “I..yeah I was outside your house, lots I just, I really like you man.” He groaned, rubbing his face aggressively. “You’re so pretty and sweet and you like talking to me I just, it wasn’t the right thing to do I know.”

Y/N frowned, peeking out to look at him curiously. “Why wouldn't you just ask me out you creep? I would have said yes, and that doesn't explain the fact you killed people!” she shouted, waving her hands in exasperation.

James' eyes lit up at the admission. “You would have said yes?” He asked excitedly, funnily enough Y/N swore she could see his tail wagging.

“James, Murder! Dead Hikers!” She snapped at him, directing his attention to the more pressing matter at hand.

He winced, recoiling back like he had been stabbed. “There’s not much for me to explain that away if I'm being honest.” His shoulders slumped at the admission of guilt. “I can turn at any time, but on full moons I have no control over it, any consciousness I hold is gone and anything in my path is on the chopping block, except for you.”

Tilting her head to the side Y/N urged him to explain further, despite her better interests her walls were falling again. Despite the incredulous situation the man sitting across from her was still James, still the sweet James who came to visit her every morning at work. “What do you mean except me?”

A blush rose to his cheeks. James stumbled over his words slightly, something she had never seen him do before. “It's uh, your first shift at the store, full moon that night, you showed up at three that morning and I saw you.” Y/N shivered as he recounted the story. She remembered that first shift, the first time she had been truly alone in the woods. She remembered the echoing howl in the distance that sent her scurrying inside the store. “I don’t know what stopped me, it was the most aware I had ever felt on a night like that. I just want to protect you.”

Silence blanketed them once more, the only sound the occasional car flying past them, rattling the windows. “So when you went hunting?” She asked, he responded with a nod. “When you told me not to be worried.” He nodded again. Y/N hummed thoughtfully. “Can I see it?”

James sputtered in surprise. He had the audacity to stare at her like she had grown two heads for asking the question. “You want to see it?” He clarified. “I don’t…that's not the best idea Y/N.” he frowned. Yet still, he moved, getting out of the truck with her as she backed him further into the woods.

“You said you wouldn’t hurt me right?” She asked, the forest seemed a little less intimidating now. “I need to see it to believe it.” she reached out, grabbing his hand soothingly. “Is it like a full wolf? Or wolf man style?”

That earned her a strained chuckle from James. His large hand shook within her own as they walked further into the brush. “Both I guess.” He explained, leaves and sticks crunching beneath their footsteps. “Mostly full wolf I guess, I have a halfway form but it's less than pretty.” He grimaced. Soon the two of them were far away enough from the road that James stopped. “Here is fine if you really want to go through with this.”

Y/N nodded, taking a few steps back from him. He gestured for her to turn around. “You don’t want to see it happen.” He mumbled, pulling at the bottom hem of his shirt and tugging it off. As soon as his chest was exposed Y/N turned around with a squeak. She hadn’t seen so much of him before.

It started with a groan, then a sickening snap, bone breaking and contorting violently. She shuddered, squeezing her eyes tight. Then the sound of flesh ripping hit her ears next and a guttural animalistic growl. Silence. Before Y/N could turn around she felt something soft nudging her back. Slowly she looked behind her, stilling a scream as she came face to face with it.

“Giant fucking wolf.” She mumbled in disbelief. He seemed a lot less intimidating in the daylight. Sure it was a giant wolf but nowhere near as monstrous as it seemed in the moonlight. His big blue eyes stared up at her patiently, those were definitely James’s eyes. Slowly her hand came down on its head, disappearing into the soft fur, “Can you understand me like this?” She asked.

He nudged his head against her stomach in response, she grunted in surprise. Both her hands came down to his head in an attempt to hold it in place. James sat back on his haunches, tail thwacking against the forest floor. He had to be as tall as her just sitting down, she would hate to see him standing on his hind legs. “Well fuck me sideways, you werent lying.” She studied him in disbelief, pulling gently at the blonde fur, running her fingers along his teeth and nose. “What does wolfman form look like?” she joked.

In a flash she was pushed down, back pressed against the dirt. “Something like this.” A low growl sounded in her ear, James' voice seemed lower, more raspy than usual. She strained her neck to see. His long blonde hair fell in cascading curtains around them, his eyes were a more piercing blue, teeth were larger and deep claws dug into the ground next to her. He had ears, that was the biggest surprise to her, standing at attention on the top of his head.

“You’re naked.” She mumbled dumbly, acutely aware of his body above her. Hands reaching up to tangle in his hair, rubbing gently at the base of his ears. He seemed a bit bigger, already he towered over her but now it seemed he completely engulfed her. Boldly she leaned up, pressing her lips to his own.

The groan that came from James seemed powerful enough to send shivers down her own body. The way he kissed was all encompassing, devouring her like he hadn’t eaten in years. His knees pushed outward, knocking her legs to the side as he came to settle between them. He pulled back with an animalistic snarl that sent heat rushing between her legs. “You’re not naked enough.” He snipped back. His sharp nails dug gently into her flesh through the fabric of her clothes, waiting for her permission.

Y/N giggled. “As much as I would love for you to rip these off me, I need something to wear home.” She sat up as much as he would allow her, shedding her clothes with an urgency she didn’t know she had. As soon as the entirety of her skin was exposed to the forest air he was back on top of her. “Fuck James, slow down.” She gasped as the wind was knocked from her lungs.

His tongue lapped at her skin, rough and wet. “Can’t, don’t know how long I've wanted this.” He grunted, his hips rolled forward roughly, bringing the head of his cock to press against her, mixing their leaking fluids and spreading the wetness across the skin of her inner thighs. He whined at the feeling, fucking forwards again as he slipped between her thighs, brushing against her clit.

A startled gasp was forced from Y/N, instinctively her legs coming up to press together tightly as James started a relentless attack against her, hips bucking against her skin as her wetness and the leaking trails of his pre-cum smeared across her. “James, oh my god.” Her fingers dug into his scalp at the base of his wolf ears. “G-good boy.” she stuttered out, testing the waters with the affectionate name.

His hips stuttered for a moment, looking down at her, eyes wide and fucked out already. “Y/N,” He whined, head dropping down to the crook of her neck. “Fucking call me that again.” He nipped at her skin with his teeth. His thrusts grew more violent, more needy. With each thrust between her thighs she could feel his balls slap against her, creating a sickening wet slap that echoed through the trees.

“Yeah? You, my good boy?” She rasped out, back arching up as his playful bites trailed down her body, stopping to scrape gently at her exposed nipples. “Wanna fuck my pussy like a good pup?” She grinned at the moan that stuttered out from his lips. She tugged at his hair desperately. “Cmon baby,” She urged him, wiggling her hips on his next thrust so his head got caught on her hole just for a moment.

James’s sharp nails came to press into the fat of her thighs, prying them open as he desperately bucked forward until he landed. His cock engulfed by the warm heat of her entrance as he bottomed out all at once, not giving Y/N a moment to adjust.

Y/N screamed, body lurching back as she tried to escape the sudden burning pain as she was impaled, each inch stretched her out to accommodate an impossible size. “T-too much!” She whimpered, hands coming up to press against his heaving chest. Her body felt as though it was on fire as she felt their hips press together, his dick prodding at her back walls and splitting her open.

James panted above her. “You can take it pretty girl, I know you can, so good, made just for me.” He grumbled. He lapped at the tears that rolled down her cheeks. He tried his best to show some restraint, hips twitching in anticipation as he waited to pound her into the ground. She squeezed around him, leaving him shuddering at the sweet tight heat. “Fuck, can I move now, please, please.”

She couldn’t catch her breath, each twitch felt like a new wound opening, but the pain was addicting. “Yeah, fuck okay, fuck me.” She relented, body bracing for impact. It forced another squeak out of her as he pulled back, nearly all the way before snapping forward once more. That's how it continued a relentless drilling of his hips into her own, somehow hitting deeper with each thrust. She was convinced her insides were bruised, her tummy bulged lightly each time he was fully seated inside her.

“Oh fuck, Y/N, Y/N I’m gonna cum, inside, need to be inside.” He moaned, his nails dug deeper into her skin as he pulled back. She could see him in all his glory now. His wild blonde hair stuck to his forehead and neck with sweat, chest glistening in the leaf filtered sunlight. His tongue lolled out to the side, as he stared down at her. He manhandled her body like it was nothing more than a cheap toy for him to blow his load into.

Y/N was left breathless, only able to wordlessly nod at him as he chased his relief. Her toes curled as his cocked dragged along the soft spongy wall inside her that left her body spasming, her release spilled out onto his cock and the dirt beneath them. The extra wetness provided the extra slide needed for him to follow suit. She could feel his load coating her insides, a wave of warmth inside her as his hips came to a sudden stop.

The moan James let out was more like a howl, far from anything human as he fell forward, caging her body underneath him as he rode out the high. It seemed his release was never ending, cock spasming inside her with each spurt. “Y/N” He managed to whine pathetically, nuzzling deep into her neck, inhaling her scent like his life depended on it.

She wrapped her arms around him tightly as he finally came down from his high. Their chests moved in sync as they steadied their breathing together. Suddenly the stretch inside her seemed less painful, James seemed less large. When she looked up his ears had disappeared, leaving just the same sweet mop of hair and tired smile she was used to. She smiled back at him tenderly. He kissed along her jaw in apology for the damage he had caused there.

“Y/N?” He asked softly, pulling her to his chest softly. “I was wondering if maybe you would want to go on a date sometime, or maybe be my girlfriend?” His voice was tired and hopeful.

“You idiot, I'm pretty sure you just ruined me for any other man.” She laughed, punching his chest playfully. “Yes I will be your girlfriend, on the condition you pull my car out of the ditch yourself.” She sighed, kissing his acne scarred cheek tenderly. “I don’t think I’m walking anytime soon.”

#metallica #metallica fanfiction #james hetfield #james hetfield x reader #james hetfield/reader

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zeroclockk · 6 months ago

Text

— ⋆˙⟡ Love Your Feeling (JJK) || Chapter two

- Making Mistakes₊˚⊹♡

He looks in my eyes, tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “You look good today” he says. That's it, I kiss him.

Pair: jjk x femOC, college students, best friends

Word count: 6.6k

Warning: this chapter includes explicit scenes⚠️

masterlist || taglist

!Friends to Lovers, Protective Brother, Secret Dating, Friends with Benefits, Angst, Mature content, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff, Smut, Mentions of Alcoholism and Abuse

——————————————————————₊˚⊹♡

It's a perfect warm spring day, perfect for a party. I see the bus coming into my peripheral vision, looking up from my phone. AirPods in my ears, blasting some ransom hype playlist Spotify made for me. I check in and sit down.

Last party I've been to must've been a few weeks ago, so needless to say I'm quite excited for tonight. Need to get my mind off of school for a second. The bus ride feels slow. Arriving at Jia's and Nabi's place, a little before 6.30.

They only live 5 minutes away from campus. Bought their own little apartment when they enrolled here. It's nothing fancy, right outside of the campus area, into an alley. It's mostly 20+ year olds living here since it's so close to school.

They all got to know each other over time. To the left are the residential units. They look like the big Minecraft houses. The two story oak plank houses, with double doors, staircase in the middle and a farm in front of it.

It's basically like that. Big two story house, staircase in the middle of it, leading to two doors. One on the left and one on the the right.

It's basically split in four parts. Jia and Nabi live on the left upper floor. The bottom floor belongs to someone else.

On the right side you have the exact same layout, only mirrored. The person who has the top floor is blessed with an attic, whilst the bottom floor can enjoy a little bit of garden space.

It might look small, but it's actually not. It'll surprise you how spacious it is. There's 3 of these units pasted next to each other, Counting a left and right side of a unit one.

On the right side of the alley there's a convenience store. At the end of the path it curves left around the store, to access either the big road or more units. Never been there, so I wouldn’t really know.

Jia and Nabi live in unit one. the first one to your right, as you walk through the alley. I go up the stairs, turn my body to the left and ring the doorbell.

Staring at the welcome mat beneath my feet, I hear some rummaging behind the door. At the same time I hear footsteps coming up the stairs, and I look to see who’s approaching me. It’s Minnie.

"HEYY!" I say opening my arms to hug her. "Missed you yesterday you know" I smiled.

"Sorry" she giggles, smile from ear to ear.

We hear a big thud from behind the door, turning our heads to where the sound came from. "Ouch"

I try not to laugh, pressing my lips together and covering them with my hand. Then the door swings open. "FINALLY!" Jia says

"We're on time Gi" I say setting foot in their house.

“EVEN ME!” Minnie says. She does tend to get late.

"Expected you earlier" she says walking past us, running upstairs. Both Minnie and I follow her, to the attic. They've got two bedrooms, a bathroom, living room and a kitchen, on the first floor.

They turned the entire attic into a walk in closet, devided into two parts. One side for Nabi, vanity on the left wall. Other side for Jia, mirroring Nabi's side.

"So.. I was thinking" Jia starts "Black denim, mini skirts" she smiles.

"I hear ya" I say.

She starts frantically looking through her closet. "We need to look hot and sexy, but also casual"

"Gigi it's just a house party" Minnie rolls her eyes, sitting down in her vanity chair.

"Kai's house party" she says "Wrong.. the football teams house party" She answers. Tilting her head back, dyed platinum blonde hair hanging over the back rest. "Yeah and Kai is gonna be there"

She continues pulling out pieces of clothing from her closet, occasionally moving to Nabi's side to find specific pieces of clothing. Slowly creating 4 different, matching outfits.

"Where's Nabi at?" I wonder. "Oh! She's getting groceries, she's cooking pasta" she answers. Head buried in between the clothes.

There's not really much to do for me. Nabi's in charge of dinner, and Jia's in charge of the outfits.

Outfit one:

Classic black denim mini skirt, has a light wash to it. White crop top on top of it. White socks, and platform converses for foot wear.

Outfit two:

Same classic black denim mini skirt, with the light wash to it. A black crop top. And again the same white sock, and platform converses.

Outfit three:

Black denim mini skirt again, it has a star on the right side of it. Classic black crop top. White socks, black adidas campus shoes.

Outfit four:

Black denim mini skirt, this time it ruffles midway through. Instead of the usual tight fit. White crop top. Again white socks, white new balance 550's. It's certainly matching.

"This one's for Minnie" she says. Grabbing the stacked pieces of clothing in one hand, the shoes in the other.

"Ruffles for you" she smiles, eyes sparkling. Stretching her arms out, handing her the outfit.

"No platform for you two since you're the tallest ones" she once smiles again. Chin down a little. Eyes up, looking at Minnie through her lashes.

It's true, we're not specifically 'tall'. Nabi and Jia are just really short. Had fought about it many times to see who’s taller. Since Nabi and I only have a height difference of two centimeters. The rest doesn’t need discussion, Minnie sticks out compared to the rest of us. And Jia well… you can certainly see she’s the shortest. Shes 153cm, only wears platforms to appear taller. Minnie is right about 167cm. I'm next reaching 160cm.

She walks back to where she's put the different outfits, then we hear the door open. It must be Nabi coming back from the store, she's a really good cook.

There was this time. I couldnt to stay home, for many reasons. Ran to their unit, crying. Phone was smashed, cards left at home. I was unable to pay for the bus, took me a while to get there. They took me in for about 3 weeks, until I decided it was enough. Couldn't keep living under their roof for ever.

Nabi even gave up her room for me, slept in a bed with Jia the entire time. They told me not to worry, and that I'm welcome anytime. Just felt like I was being a burden sometimes, when they had guests of family over.

Needless to say I know what her cooking tastes like, and it never disappoints.

"NABS COME UP HERE, BRING WINE!" Jia yells, from her closet. And not much later, Nabi comes upstairs. Four wine glasses, and a bottle of rosé in her hands.

"Heyy!!" She says to us. Lifting the bottle of wine up in the air, swinging it a little as she smiles. Scurrying over to Jia's vanity, the one Minnie's sitting at again.

She places down the four glasses, and fills them with the rosé.

"Ohh we're matching matching?" She asks. looking up at Jia, giving her, her glass.

"What? How could you tell?" I say laughing within the words. Utterly confused, I mean there's still three outfits lying there.

She turns around, looking at me. "Do you really think she'd give you the platforms? It’s an easy giveaway, you're second tallest" she explains. It’ll always be a petty competition. You’re taller, you do it! Whilst the gap isn’t even that big. Jia shrugs, satisfied smile plastered on her face “What can I say, she knows me” I gotta give her that.

Then Nabi walks over to me, gives me one of the glasses she's holding and sits next to me on the stool. The kind of stools you see in one of those fancy walk in closets, I guess you could call this a fancy walk in closet.

"Sooo.. Minnie" I laugh, leaning over to look at her, past Nabi. "Who's the lucky guy?" I raise my eye brows. She groans, leaning her head back once again.

"You know we'll find out one day, especially with Jia's detective skills" Nabi says.

"Oh please let me know once you do, I'll enjoy the privacy in the mean time" she answers, sipping her wine. Everyone just sighs, clicking their tongues.

"Okay okay, calm down" she says, Signing with her hands to 'sush' us. "He's tall, black hair, broad shoulders, he's got thick lips and is utterly handsome, he's funny, a gentleman and he goes to our school" she says.

"Oh god, do we know him?" I ask. "Stop no this is so exciting!!" Jia exclaims. Minnie just stays quiet, keeps on sipping her wine.

"C'mon, show us a picture" I say, but all she does is just shake his head. "Someday babes, just not today" she laughs.

"Enough about mystery boy, you guys should get changed."

"Here" Jia says, grabbing My outfit. The one with the star on the skirt, and gives it to me.

Walks back to the two outfits that are left. Grabs the one with the black top, and gives it to Nabi. Getting all of us changed, Jia then does our hair and makeup. Doesnt forget to drench herself in glitter spray, shes always so glittery. It suits her personality though.

All of us are already have a hard time getting out the glitter she leaves on us, let alone if we spray ourselves aswell.

Nabi cooks us dinner, chicken pasta. Already drooling at the name of it. Usually with a bunch of garlic, but not today. They're planning on getting it on with their crushes, what worse than to smell like a humanied piece of garlic. It tastes delicious though, even with the lack of garlic.

——————————————————————————

"Alrightyy let's go!" Nabi cheers

We all down the shots infront of us. Shake away the burning sensation in our throats, and walk towards the door. Asses nearly out, but still casual enough for it to not be weird.

I secretly I hope the outfit grabs the attention of a certain someone, won't admit it to them though. Though I wear mini skirts more often, it’s nothing special for me.

We walk over the big of campus. Dark out, all four of our arms intertwined with each other. I can hear the party's music from far, the cheers of people. It makes me feel excited, sounds like tonight will be fun.

Jia is immediately welcomed by many people, won't take her long to find Kai.

I look around the room, filled with people. They've got drinks in their hands, talking to their friends. Some are even dancing.

It doesn't take me long to spot the kitchen. Sometimes I think my kitchens dirty, this takes it to a whole other level. I grab Minnie's hand from behind me, sign to her that I know where the alcohols at.

We walk past Jia and Nabi, who are still saying hi to random people. I place my hands on front of me, on the kitchen counter. Stretched out, leaning on them.

"So, what you want 'm lady?" I ask Minnie.

"I have a strong desire for a vodka sunset ma'am" she replies. Pursing her lips, keeping a formal tone to her voice. "It is my pleasure" I smile, turning around on my heels.

Found the orange juice, in the fridge. and some strawberry syrup next to it, on the counter. Vodka wasn't difficult to find, and so I have all ingredients to make a 'vodka sunset', my specialty.

I see Jia and Nabi walking up to us, automatically assume they'll want sunsets too. Put them in front of them, as they sit down.

“Welcome ladies!” I hear behind me.

The look on Jia's and Nabi's face gives away easily who's standing behind me, so I turn around. Keeping my cool, hear absolutely going insane.

"Hello boys" I say, we all smile. "Craving some sunsets? It's my specialty" I look up at Taehyung standing in front of me. He’s so gorgeous, even up close. As much as you can call it 'in front' though, they're not that close.

They're standing there as if they're in a movie, clearly popular guys. Taehyung, Kai and Jimin. He laughs "Sure" And so I make three more sunsets. I could get addicted to that laugh, feel like I’m gonna fall to my knees just be looking at it.

"Extra sweet for the pretty ones amongst us" I joke. Clearly flirting, as I look up into Taehyungs eyes.

We all say cheers, down our shots.

"Damn, these really are your specialty" he says. Jia and Nabi are clearly eyeing the other two boys.

"So.. you guys party a lot?" Jimin asks. Jia looks down, shes shy. Shes never really 'shy', shes the social butterfly amongst us. Seems like she might really have an eye on Kai, standing next to Jimin.

Nabi had decided to sit down on the bar stool, that's placed beside the kitchen island. Legs crossed, chin leaning on her hand. Batting her eyelashes, as Jimin speaks.

I’m standing closer to the guys, therefore decide to answer his question. "Jia does! Personally not really tho" Turning my head to look at the girls, behind me. Jia looks up. She smiles softly, and raises her hand a little.

"We noticed some.. new followings on insta" I say teasingly. Taehyung laughs a little. He looks down at the floor, his hand reaching for the back of his neck. I swear I’m going insane.

"Aha yeah.. well we noticed some fangirls so"

I try not to laugh at that, smiles obvious on my face. Close my eyes, and shake my head just a little. Before turning my heels, back to the kitchen island.

These men i swear to god.

He’s charming, Taehyung. I’ve heard the stories, girls go feral for him. Talking so casually to him like this, makes me feel as if I have a chance with him. Works me in my delusions, something I’ve dreamed of for months now.

"Another round?" I look around myself, everyone agrees. So I make 7 new sunsets. We talk, we have fun. Nabi started talking to Jimin, finally. And Jia to Kai. Minnie wondered off, probably meeting her boyfriend somewhere.

——————————————————————————

"So why haven't we spoken before" he laughs. "I don't know" i respond, rolling my eyes playfully.

"Maybe because I don't want all of the girls in school to hate me! I don't know our status are just too different I guess" I laugh. It's true. He's a popular school jock, I'm a well.. a normal student.

"Jia is quite popular, could've gotten to us through her for sure" he answers. Sorta is what happened. If it wasn't for Nabi and Jia's fangirling, i wouldnt have sat here.

We're sat on a couch at this point. It's late, don't know what time though. It's still full, it's a Saturday so I don't expect anyone to leave soon.

Taehyung is sat next to me, my legs over his lap. Too far gone to go insane, we're chatting nicely. Some girls walking past have eyed me, but the amounts of alcohol I've had by now makes me not care about that.

With the stress of all the homework and tests I've been having, I feel like I'm allowed to treat myself. "You want another drink?" I say, getting up from the couch.

"Oh no I'm alright" he says. I get up, and walk back to the kitchen again.

Working myself through the crowd of people, there's not too many people though. Stumbling across the room, nearly tripping over my feet multiple times. I manage to get myself to the kitchen counter. "Ugh what do I fancy~"

I lean onto the counter with the palms of my hands, rocking on my feet a little. One of them red, American, cups will do. I scan the messy counter, different kinds of alcohol, different brands, different sodas.

I could kill for a vodka Red Bull actually, doesn't matter that I've probably already had enough alcohol for the day.

Can't even bother to measure my drink out, it's probably gonna taste like shit. And when I take a sip, it confirms my assumptions.. yeah tastes like shit.

I turn around, decide to make my way back to Taehyung.

This is why I hate partying. There's sweaty people crawling the place, and I don't even have to bother with the cleanup. Can't imagine what a real club is like, this is just a normal house party.

I do have to say, it loosened up my conversations with Taehyung. I'm not particularly the shy type, just don't like stepping out to others that much. Especially since Taehyung and I are in such different status levels, it would've been weird if I just randomly started speaking to him. Gosh he'd laugh in my face if I’d done that.

I never expected him to be this nice though, he seems actually interested. Well he shows interest in my private life. Looks at me a certain way that makes my cheeks burn hot. And for what reason? He doesn’t like me. We literally just met. I could definitely see him being my first boyfriend, have been.. I mean can you blame me? He’s complete and total bout-

What..

I stop my tracks, eyes wide. I feel as if I'm somewhere I shouldn't be, as if I just caught someone and should apologize profusely.

In the small amount of time it took me to get my drink and get back, he managed to move onto the next girl.. someone who's a lot easier than me apparently.

Took him too long to get into my pants and figured to just get some easy slut to do the job or something?

There's.. a girl. On his.. lap? Really?

Five minutes, FIVE MINUTES ID BEEN GONE??

God why do I even care, I've known the guy for what. Two hours? Still the short scene, makes my world spin a little.

I chug down the drink I had just gotten, and go back to the kitchen to make another one. More vodka in it than last time, tastes even more disgusting than the first one. Chugging it down, nearly gagging, hanging over the sink.

"YOO BUNNY" there's only one person who calls me that. "Didn't expect you here"

He stands next to me, ass leaning onto the counter. Arms crossed, looking into the crowd.

I look up at him, out of breath as if I just puked my brains out. Eyes pained. "You alright?" Jungkook asks.

"Uhm" I clear my throat. "Yeah no ofcourse" I say whilst shaking my head.

"Why are you here?" Stupid question, anyone can just come in and join. Don't need a special invitation or anything.

"Well, sorry for interrupting Yun. Let's dance, it'll take ur mind off of things" He tends to be be the kind of person that takes your mind off of things, rather than talking about it. If I do need to have a serious talk, he's always there for me.

He grabs my wrist, and drags me to the dance floor. There isn't really a 'dance floor', the living room has just been repurposed as one.

The world spins a tiny bit, just nothing too bad. I don't feel like I'm about to throw up anymore, like I've felt copious amounts of times. I genuinely hate it.

I have my back turned to the sofa, Taehyung and I were sitting at. I didn't check if he was still sitting there, as we walked over. But the way Jungkook shifts his gaze between me and the sofa, has me guessing that he is.

"Gon’ tell me what happened?" He asks

I keep my mouth shut, not wanting to talk about it. "Wanna make him jealous?" He then asks again. I raise my eyebrows. "Jealous?"

He doesn't say anything. He places his hands on my hips, to make me step closer. He then takes my arms, and places them on top of his shoulders behind his neck.

He placed his hands on my hips again. Moves his hips himself, swaying to the music. Guiding my hips with his hands to do the exact same thing, 'swaying to the music'.

The moment, somewhat caught me off guard. The alcohol is getting to my head, and it's making me that that Jungkook is looking a little too good tonight.

It's probably the way my stomach just turned, when I saw Taehyung there. To have someone's attention feels nice. It's dark in the room, music is blasting through my ears. And all I can seem to focus on, is the way he's so in the moment.

He seems so unbothered, faint smile on his face from the drinks he's had. The smallest trail of sweat running down the side of his neck, because of how hot it is in here. Yet he doesn't smell bad, good even.

"Yun!" He says, raising his voice just a little bit. "Huh what?" I say, shaken out of my own thoughts.

"Taehyung, he's watching" he nudges his head a little, to where Taehyung was sitting. Now knowing that Taehyung is watching, I wanted to get revenge.

Taehyung probably wouldn't even care, but atleast it's for my peace of mind. Anyone can tell the droopy, sad, expression on my face. I really just want to leave.

But still I choose to not admit to that just yet, focusing on Jungkook once again. Following his guide, to dancing together.

Though, I feel like my emotions are making him feel sad as well. "You here with someone?" I ask him.

Im done with this party, it's been an emotional roller coaster. I was having fun, and I'm letting some useless boy ruin that.

He shakes his head. "Can I stay at yours?"

I don't want to go home, be put up with Yoongi. He'll see right through me, will investigate who hurt me. Just to run off and hurt them.

On one hand, it's nice to have someone care like that. On the other hand, it hurts me too. I keep being left alone, dealing with myself. And having to take care of mum, with Yoongi ran off.

I'm just not in the mood for it tonight. Plus, I've stayed at Jungkooks house copious amounts of times.

He doesn't seem to have a problem with it. Leading me out of the house. Him up front, hand stuck out behind him to stabilize me a little.

He doesn't live too far. But walking is certainly the longer route. Will take a while.

Jungkook is definitely a better drunk, than me. I can tell by the way he looks, smells and acts, that he's had quite some drinks. Though he's still able to walk properly, act somewhat normal.

Were walking on the sidewalk, I try not to stumble. Focusing on the pavement, watching my feet closely. One foot in front of the other and switch. But it doesn't work, I trip. Face down.

"Ah!" I immediately reach for the stinging sensation on my knee. It's not terrible, nothing I'd usually cry over. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

"Nayun! Are you okay?" Jungkook immediately rushes over to me. "Ah yeah, my knee just hurts."

I sit down on the ground, as Jungkook kneels beside me

He grazes his fingers over my hurt knee, blows on it. “Just a little scratch, can you walk?” He asks as he helps me up.

I’m on the verge of tears, world crashing down. As if he knows, he crouches down in front of me, signing for me to get in his back. “U sure you can handle my weight” I ask. “Yun. don’t even start, I can handle you perfectly fine” he reassures me.

I get on his back, even though I could’ve just walked myself. The gesture is nice.

Not really in the mood to talk we eventually reach his apartment. He shares it with his friend, Mingyu. He’s nice, only really see him whenever I stay over.

He sets me down on my feet in front of his apartment, and opens the door for me. “Mingyu’s not home, I can take his bed if you want”

Usually we grab 2 separate covers, and sleep in his bed.

I don’t move, don’t know why. My expression feels droopy, empty, hurt. Mustn’t look nice from a third persons perspective. Can’t seem to take my eyes off him. his fluffy hair, that’s wildly distributed because of his dancing. His big hands that are holding the door open. His pretty face that looks at me as he asks.

“Is everything okay?” Answering him feels too difficult, with what’s going on in my head. I’ve never denied the fact that he grew up to be good looking, but to observe him the way I have tonight? Were there shrooms in the pasta or something?

So I don’t answer at all. switch my gaze to look inside of his apartment, and walk in.

“Go sit on the kitchen counter” he tells me, I silently obey his words. Walking to the kitchen and sitting on the empty counter, next to the sink.

He takes a little before he walks over to me, box in his hands. Places it beside me and inspects my knee. I watch him carefully as he takes the disinfection spray, sprays it on my knee. It stings a little but I’ve felt worse.

“Hurts?” He asks looking up at me. I quickly look at me knee, pretending I hadn’t had my eyes glued on him since he started taking care of my knee. Shake me head, because it doesn’t.

He wets a cloth with warm water and dabs in on the skin, before he dries it of plasters it shut with a band aid.

Hips leaning on the counter, hands on both sides of my legs on the counter. He looks in my eyes, tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I gulp, for some reason.

“You look good today” he says.

Why. Why does he say that? I’m not in the right state of mind to be handling this right now. I’m afraid I'm going to make wrong decisions, decisions I shouldn’t. But he looks so damn good.. so damn good..

My eyes search his face, no expression. I like my lips, clearly some version of nervous. Still somewhere drunk, I cup his cheeks with my hands. Lean in, close my eyes, and kiss him. And he kisses me back, he actually kisses back. He doesn’t move a lot though, but also doesn’t move away.

As if a switch in my mind flipped, I break the kiss. Hands off him. “Omg, I-I’m so sorry” I apologize. Get back on my feet, ready to flee the scene walking past him.

But he catches my wrist, I swing around back to him. Hair flying around me, almost cinematically. And he kisses me again. More forceful this time, pushing my back against the counter again. He brushes a hand through my hair and rests it on my neck. Before placing me on top of it again.

He licks the bottom of my lip, testing the waters. I copy his movements. Tongue exploring my mouth, I let a moan slip. With the amount of alcohol I’ve had today, embarrassing is a stage I’ve far surpassed.

He takes it as a sign. kisses me along my jaw, down my neck. Moving my head to the side to give him easy access. His hands on my waist.

“You look good too I guess” I say. He laughs at that, sending vibrations all through my body.

“Shut up” he says with a slight chuckle in his voice.

“Make me” what in the word possessed me to say that. He’s my best friend, I don’t want this. Expected it to be Taehyung.

He stops what he’s doing, looks me in the eyes. “Sure?” He says. “yes..” I whisper. No, no is what I should’ve said. But it feels too good to stop, feels wrong for it to be him. But feels so good.

As if he doesn’t need telling twice, he connects his lips with mine again. Rougher this time, as if they’ve been wanting it for years. Though it’s just a one time thing. Doesn’t see him like that.

He picks me up from the counter, my legs wrapping around his waist. No idea where he brings me to as my back is turned to the apartment, too busy focusing on his lips.

“Gon make you feel so good” he says between kisses. Until my back hits the back of his bed. Legs still wrapped around his waist.

He takes off his shirt, he’s certainly been working out. Big biceps, soft skin, toned abs. Oh do I love muscles.. “Like the view huh?” He cocks. GOD do I want to roll my eyes at him. But instead I take my shirt off as well. Left in my bra, and skirt.

“Expected someone?” Is the first thing he said at the sight of my bra. “No” I lied. He doesn’t respond. far too occupied kissing my chest now, as my moans occupy the room.

He trails his fingers across my thighs, teasing me. He stops kissing me, looks me in my eyes. Don’t know what to say to him. No words come to mind. Brows furrowed, biting down on my lip.

“What you want bunny” he teases higher up on my inner thighs, should’ve worn safety shorts but decided not to. Wearing a baby pink, lacy thong, that matches my bra.

“Don’t call me that” I say breathily, hate it when he calls me that. Called him bunny once because I thought it was funny, he’d call me bunny too. Mine stuck, his didn’t. He knows I hate it.

“What?.. Bunny?” As he says that, he presses down on my clit. Receiving a soft moan from me. “Seems like you like it” he smirks. Hate that smirk.

He dares to shoot even lower, finger at my entrance. He circles around, not wanting to put them in yet.

I want to speak up, talk back. Tell him to shut his mouth. “I-ah, fuck” failed miserably. Just as I want to tell him off, he dips one finger in.

“Fuck, you’re so wet bunny” that stupid name again. My hand shoots up to his bicep, holding onto it for dear life. “More” he’s not even really doing anything, yet I want his big hands to stretch me out further.

He obliges, adding another finger.

“How bad do you want it bun” he asks, pumping his fingers in and out painfully slow.

“Shut up” I hiss. Though u have to admit, I clench around his fingers as he calls me that.

“Tell me” he says again and still his fingers completely. “Finger me Koo” I look at him, doe eyed. I can feel him fucking twitch against my leg as I say that. He looks at me for a few seconds, completely still “Koo?” He breathes in heavily, leaving a groan as he releases his breath.

He crashes his lips against mine, moving his fingers again. He's certainly skilled to say the least. two fingers moving in and out of me again, curling inside of me, hitting the exact right places. Thumb on my clit circling around it.

My mouth falters open, unable to kiss him back. The back of my head burying deep in the mattress. Eyes shut. Fuck it feels good.

He kisses down my collarbone. If he continues like this I'm actually going to come soon.

"Fuck, Koo" I moan loudly, he can feel my walls clench around his fingers. He stops kissing me. "Look at me when you cum" He says, well.. more like demands. "Look who's making you feel like this yun" I absolutely try my best to look at him, eyes faltering shut before opening them again. "That's it" He praises, That's what it does for me. My orgasm hitting me hard, as I try my absolute best to look at him. Tears nearly peeping through.

Both our heads snap at his door, before we look at each other shocked. "I thought you said Mingyu wasn't home" I say as he quickly pulls his fingers out of me, feeling empty inside. "He told me he was staying at his girlfriends house" quickly closing his bedroom door as the front door opens.

We both find our discarded shirts on the ground putting them back on. I run to his mirror checking if I look presentable. we both stay completely silent, holding our breath afraid to make a single sound.

We can hear Mingyu walk past the door, to his own bedroom slamming his door shut. both letting out a breath we've been holding for far too long.

Jungkook leans his head back against the door. I can see the disappointment in his face. the walls are thin, heard Mingyu in action one time.

I feel disappointed, bad for him. Poor dude getting blue balled. I'm afraid to admit I was kind of looking forward to returning the favour to him.

Who says we still can't?

I walk over to him, as quiet as I can. As soon as I approach him I trail my finger across his abdomen, placing kisses on his shoulder and collarbone.

"Bun? what ar-" I cut him off, shushing him wish a kiss to his mouth. "Just stay quiet" I whisper against his ear. my hands at his waist band, unbuckling his belt and undoing his jeans. dropping down to my knees.

to be honest I have no idea what I'm doing. mimicking things I've seen, and read. Pulling his jeans down a little, placing a kiss on his clothed cock. I can feel he's still rock hard. I can hear his breath hitch as I place a kiss on it.

Not wanting to waste too much time, I pull his boxers down too. nearly jump scaring me as he springs free. I need a moment to register what I'm seeing, I've always seen dicks as something pretty ugly. But having him in front of me like this, makes me think otherwise. He's big. Bigger than I thought existed in real life. But nothing abnormal. "Stop staring" He whispers. I meet his eyes. shaking me out of my thoughts. There's no way in hell I can take all of him.

I place my hands at his base, Notice he's struggling not to moan at my touch. Place a kiss on the side of his cock, licking a long stripe across the vein that goes from the base to his tip. placing a kiss on it as I reach the end. swiping my tongue across his slit, tasting his precum. And take him in my mouth.

I can tell he's struggling to keep quiet, his hand finding it's way into my hair. I try to take as much of him as I can, without trying to gag on him. bobbing my head up and down, moving my hands wherever I cant reach.

Never would I have thought, giving a blowjob can be arousing for the one whose giving it as well. noticing I'm rubbing my thighs together as if I didn't just orgasm around the same fingers that are in my hair right now.

he pushes my head down a little, making me moan softly against him making him groan in response. I look at him through my lashes, eyes meeting his as he was already looking at me.

I squish his balls lightly, sending him over the edge. he pushes my head down hard, tears peeking through the corner of my eyes. he comes down my throat. soft humming coming from above me as he tries his best to stay quiet. warm liquid trickling down my throat as I swallow all of it.

sucking him empty and letting go with a plop. He wipes the corner of my mouth, as I smile at him proudly. "Good girl" he says, making me clench on absolutely nothing.

He puts himself back in his boxers, putting his jeans back on as well as I get back to my feet. He nudges his head to his door that he's still leaning against.

"U can take a shower if you want to. take a tee of mine" I nod at him, swinging around to his dresser stealing one of his shirts. running off to the bathroom.

Been to his house so many times is normal for me to be here.

I walk back to his room after my shower, hair blow dried, big shirt of Jungkook's. he switches places with me and disappears into the bathroom.

suddenly it all feels empty again, quiet. events of this evening reoccurring in my head. Jungkook seemed to take my mind of Taehyung for a little. but now that, that moment is over, it all comes flushing back.

I feel so stupid to think I had an actual chance with him.

I make my way to Jungkook's bed, curling up under his covers. Too empty to even open my phone to see my missed messages. Or to look at TikTok to pass the time.

Time passes so slowly, staring right in front of me. No thoughts running through my mind, but at the same time so many.

Jungkook makes his way back into his room. I didn’t even notice until he was in squatting next to me. tucking a piece of hair behind my ear as I'm laid on my side. I look at him, only my eyes moving to find his.

"you sure you're alright?" I don't want to answer him, feel embarrassed about what happened. I feel so naïve.

"Lets pretend nothing happened okay?" I tell him. He nods. a simple "okay" leaving his mouth.

he walks over to the other side of his bed. back facing me, my back facing him. I feel like I shouldn't leave him in the dark on what happened.

"had a crush on Taehyung" I admit to him, feel like I'm admitting it to myself as I tell him. "Was talking with him at the party for like 2 hours.." he stays silent, not sure if he's listening or maybe already sleeping. "left for a drink, saw another girl on his lap when I came back"

"I felt so naïve, to think he'd like me back. but he just wanted to get in my pants. was devastated when I saw them, felt like I was gonna throw up" I tell him "Oh yeah and then I fell." I add.

He's completely silent. no clue if he's even awake, maybe he's wearing headphones. maybe he fell asleep, I don't know.

"Koo?" I say softly. I get a soft "yeah?" back, almost like a whisper.

"Wasn’t sure if you were listening" I say. there's so much room between us. I left to his house to feel comfortable, to not be alone. knew my brother would be a pain in the arse at home. and if he wouldn't, than mum would be. I feel.. empty, even tough my night was so full.

After everything that happened with Jungkook tonight, how is my mind still with Taehyung? "Koo?.." I say again. "yeah?.." Somehow I’m nervous for what I'm about to ask him, afraid he’ll reject me. Part of me knows he wouldn't. Part of me knows it isn't usually weird. Just after what happened today I'm unsure.

"Can we cuddle?" I ask quietly, Almost embarrassed.

He doesn't reply, all he does I move. Move closer to me in his bed. And as I look over I see him holding his arm up. Open for me to join him. Not a single moment in my mind that doubts rolling over to him.

He wraps me up in his arms as I hug his waist tightly, not wanting to let go of someone else at the moment. So desperately in need of physical touch, is sad.

A tear falls down from my face. too much going on at the moment. too much for me to handle. I know he can feel me sob in his embrace, I know his shirt is getting salty wet because of my tears. he doesn't mention it. caresses my hair and suits circles on my back. even places a kiss on my forehead.

"Back to normal tomorrow m'kay?" He whispers, hearing the vibrations from his chest through my cheeks, are soothing. secretly wishing they could last forever.

I nod, and fall asleep quite vastly.

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russett-pots · 2 years ago

Note

could you do a smut-fluff where minju and y/n are both first-time beginners and you both laugh and tease each other as you explore each other’s bodies and have virgin sex

There is Time for Everything

Kim Minju

Words: 2.8k

Tags: Virgin sex, fingering, first time for both, accidental breeding

Well last one for today. Happy Minju day. Hope yall endured these three horrible fics.

You carefully place the diode on the breadboard.

“Seriously, you haven’t done it?”

“Come on, Hyung!”

“How long have you been dating?”

“Since we’re seniors in high school.”

“So that’s like two or three years? Am I right?”

“Something like that.”

“And you still haven’t had sex?!”

“Shush! I don’t want everyone to know…”

“Jeez, you should have done that a long time ago.”

You put the wire on the other side and then slam your fist on your desk.

“We’re just waiting for the right time. It’s like if we’re going to try it isn’t going to happen.”

Your friend places the battery in the complete circuit.

“Look, let me teach you some things. Get a condom and do it! If not tonight some other time. What matters is that you should do it. You and Minju might not last if you aren’t going to have sex.”

“I guess you’re right…”

“Come with me after the lab class.”

“Okay, hyung.”

Your friend is your upperclassman. You met him in a class when he was behind and now you are practically meeting each other in every subject.

He has a reputation for being a party boy at the university. Everyone wants to be at his parties and he has a very high “body count”. While you are there still a virgin, like your girlfriend, Kim Minju.

Ah, Minju, you have been high school sweethearts. You played soccer for the school. You aren’t the most awkward student but you aren’t the most outgoing. You are just in the middle. But it is perfect timing for when you met Minju. She was just another member of the cheer squad and you have both developed feelings for each other.

You have done everything together, going on dates, and meeting each other parents. Even her dad has approved of you. But there is one thing you haven’t done with her and that is to take each other’s virginity. Both of you have been virgins since birth and haven’t had a taste of sex.

It has been awkward when you tried to initialize it. It would be out of the blue and Minu would either have time or would be busy with something else. And when Minju tries to ask you, the same thing to you. It is either you are reviewing for a test to keep your spot in the varsity or you’ll be busy with soccer practice.

Regardless, you never had time to actually do it together.

“Okay, we should be finished.” You say as you finalize the lab report.

“Thank you, sir.” You and your friend say to your teacher before heading out.

“Finally I can go home.” You announce as your stretch your arms. “It’s getting late.”

“Up-up-up. Where are you going?”

“Ugh, are we really going to do this?”

“Yes, we are.”

Your friend drags you with him. He brings you to the nearest convenience store and goes to the counter.

He coughs trying to hide his words. “Condoms please.”

The clerk rolls his eyes and just scans a pack and quickly bags it before anyone else notices it. Your friend brings you out of the store and hands you the bag.

“Here, this should what you need.”

You take a peek at what’s inside.

“Hyung…thanks.”

“No problemo. Just promise me you’ll do it tonight if not this week at least.”

“Okay. Okay…I’ll just have to find a time when Minju would be free. She lives in with her parents. So maybe when she is staying at her friend's apartment.”

“Yeah whatever, Next week. Tell me what happens, okay?”

Then your phone vibrates. You pick it up and on the caller ID is Minju. “Speaking of the devil. I have to go. Bye,” you tell your friend.

“Bye!” He shouts as you walk away.”

You answer the call and head back to the campus. “Jagi-ya. What’s up?”

“Oppa, are you busy?”

“No. Not really. Why?”

“Wanna have dinner? I need to ask you something. It’s important and I want to tell you in person.”

“Sure. Where do you want to eat?”

“Hmmmm….I know this new rice bowl. It isn’t far.”

“Ah, I think I know what you mean. See you there.”

“Oki, see ya.” Minju hangs up the phone.

You put your phone back in your pocket. You breathe out.

I guess I can ask her then.

You head to the restaurant Minju was talking about. It’s a new place but since it is at a late hour there aren’t many people. When you got there. It is practically just you and Minju left.

Minju and you got to the counter.

You order. “Can I have the beef bulgogi please?”

The cashier replies. “Anything else?”

Minju walks up. “Can I have the bacon and egg please?”

“Is that all?”

“Yup.” You answer.

The cashier takes your order and sends it to the kitchen. You and Minju go to the dining area and sit down.

“Minju, did you want to say something?”

“Oppa, I just…wan…want to…ask you…”

“Yes?”

“I want to a…as…a…ask. You if you want to have s..s…seee….”

“Sex?”

“Yes. Ugh, sorry I just wanted to ask…”

“Hmmm….”

“Look, you can say no if you want.”

“It’s just my girl friends have been pushing me to have sex with you.”

“Oh…”

“I…well…my friend also…”

“Also?”

“Well, he bought me condoms.”

“Really?”

You show the bag that your friend gave you.

Then Minju picks up a bag also from a convenience store. “They did the same to me.”

“Is it time?”

“Maybe?”

Then your order gets called. You and Minju pick up the food and eat it nicely. The food is delicious. You would say it is already your favorite for the week. Anyway, you talk more to Minju about your plans.

“Minju, can you do it tonight?”

“No, not really…”

“Maybe we shouldn’t…”

“No! We’re going to do this, okay? It has been a long time running and we should have done this a long time ago.”

“Okay. Okay. Okay. Calm down Minju.”

“Sorry. I’m just nervous.”

“Well, we don’t need to do….”

Minju glares at your face. You stay silent.

“Look, tonight. I have to be with my parents but tomorrow. I told them I’m staying at one of my friend’s place. Then we can do it then. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’ve got to go now bye, Oppa.”

Minju stands up and reaches to kiss you on the cheek but before her lips touch. You turn your head and make her kiss your lips. A short yet passionate kiss.

“Minju, Just a teaser for tomorrow.”

Minju blushes as she walks away.

It is already Friday night. You have something planned but don’t know if you are going to succeed. A night with your girlfriend.

Minju is already on her way. You have put on some perfume. Your bedroom is spotless, prepared some snacks before anything would be going down.

Then there is a knock on the door. You peek thru the peephole and there is Minju. She is wearing a cute top with a matching skirt. Something she would wear to your dates. She is always cute when she wears something like that.

“Come in.” You open the door.

Minju comes in and kisses you on the cheek. “Oppa, you alright?”

“Yeah... just nervous. Are we really going to do it?”

“Yes! Yes! Of course…” Minju affirms but also sounds as nervous as you.

You move up to her and grab her waist with both of your arms and you look down at her with your obviously confused face.

“Uhhhh…. what are you doing?” Minju asks you.

“Isn’t this how things start?”

“No? I don’t know. Let’s try to start things naturally. Do you have anything to drink?”

“Hold on.” You stop Minju in your living room then head to the fridge.

There is a couple of bottles of Soju. “What do you want to do with Soju?” You shout from the kitchen.

“Is it flavored?”

“Nope.”

“You have Yakult?”

You pick up the unopened pack of Yakult and a couple of bottles and two glasses then head back to the living room. Minju helps you with all of the ingredients and places them on the table.

Sitting beside each other, you try to be comfortable, facing Minju as she looks at you back.

“Drinks!” You remembered why you brought them with you.

You open a bottle pour on both glasses and add some Yakult for the flavor. Minju finishes her drink in one go. She shakes her head as she tries to take in the flavor. You do the same, drinking it and taking in the drink.

“Shouldn’t we….?” You lean in for a kiss. Minju takes it but quickly stops it.

“Let’s drink more.” She suggests.

Then there is a montage of You and Minju drinking and taking shots one after another. and then eating some of the snacks you have prepared. You grab more drinks from beer to more Soju. Soon there were already four bottles of Soju emptied and thee bottles of beer.

You are already a little tipsy but one thing you noticed is that Minju is already getting a little bit more touch than before. She is trying to act more seductively, playing with you, and touching you on your arm. You too are trying to make advances to Minju.

You never thought you’d be like this with your girlfriend. Sure, you have been drunk before but that’s when you are with friends and never drank alone. Suddenly, Minju leans in for a kiss. She pushes you down to the couch, still making out with you.

But you stop her and make her stand up straight. “Minju, are you drunk?”

“Well…” Minju hiccups. “Kinda….”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes! I always have. I thought I’ll lose my virginity with my boyfriend and when you are there I knew it would be you.”

“Minju…”

“Oppa…”

You kiss her on the lips, cupping her face. “Let’s take this slowly, okay?”

Minju grabs your hands, and her eyes shine on you. “Okay.”

You go back to your kiss. A passionate yet drunk kiss. Something messy yet it is between two people who love each other.

Then Minju unbuttons your shirt. You assist her in doing so. You remove Minju’s shirt, showing off her topless body.

This time you push Minju to the couch with lips still locked to each other. You undo your pants and pull it push it away. Your underwear comes off as well. Now you pull up Minju’s skirt. You notice a wet spot on her panties…

“Uhhh…. What’s this?”

Minju replies. “The girls told me to now worry about that. They said it comes when you are ready for sex.”

You shrug your shoulders and continue. Minju removes her skirt and her pantie as well. Finally, you struggle and try to remove Minju’s bra. But after embarrassing yourself in front of Minju. She stops you and removes it herself.

You both chuckle as you get to finally see each other fully naked. Minju looks down at your crotch and insects it.

“Curious… what’s the size?”

“To be honest. I haven’t measured it. Never needed to. But to my guess… five inches…?”

“What do you think of my breasts.”

“They’re aight. I mean breasts are breasts. I love them…. I mean yours. I only love your breasts.”

Minju laughs. “Only these two then.”

You move your hand to feel Minju’s slit. It is clean-shaven down there.

“Oh, you shaved?”

“Yeah? Did you?”

“Yeah, I did but I just did it just in case.”

“In case, I didn’t?”

“Well…”

You stay silent for a while, but your hand is busy feeling Minju. It is wet already and just a line. You have never seen a vagina before unless you count the times when you were younger with your sister but never mind that. You play with it a bit.

You don’t really know how but you try to insert your index finger inside. Minju gasps as you try to play with her.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. Just continue.”

You just return to Minju, looking down to check if you are doing it correctly. It is confirmed when you see Minju subtly moan. Just soft and gentle moans. You think it is working so you do more. You start to move your finger faster and faster.

This brings more pleasure to Minju. Her gentle moans start to grow louder and louder. Her eyes close and she clings onto the couch. It becomes harder and harder for her to hold back. As you added your middle finger.

Minju arches her back. This is already getting intense for her. She is almost at her peak. But she gushes cum outside of her. It isn’t much. But it is more than you thought.

“Wow…that’s a lot.” You tell Minju.

She already has a bit of her hair messed up. You try to fix it but to no avail.

“Hmm.. you still look kinda cute, Minju.”

She peeks at the mirror and gets shocked. Her hair is messed up and she quickly tries to fix it.

You hold her hand. “I said you look cute. Anyway, don’t we still have something to do?”

“Ah, right.”

You are still on top of her. Now, you try to align your tip to her entrance. You play with it for a second. Then you look up, Minju’s eyes are shut, mouth closed, and holding her breath.

“Okay, I’m going in.”

You push yourself slowly, going all the way. It is going deep. Each inch is swallowed whole.

You let out a deep breath as you fully invite yourself inside Minju.

“Okay, I’m in.” Minju breathes out. It is still slightly painful for her. But she is enduring it as much as she can.

“Okay, It hurts a bit but I should be fine.”

You start thrusting as before. Your cock moves in and out as slowly as it can. Her walls are so tight. You can never expect to feel this sensation. All you have is have been jerking off to porn or maybe Minju’s picture. But this is nothing compared to the experience that you are feeling right now.

“Fuck, Minju…”

“Ah! Oppa, it feels so good.”

“Minju!” You shout her name.

It is getting better and better. Your cock entering and re-entering is feeling much better after every second. Your groans are getting louder by the second. Also, Minju is moaning louder and louder. You can see Minju’s breasts jiggle as well.

But then you get tired and accidentally fall on Minju. Instead of complaining, Minju laughs. You awkwardly join her. But as she continues to laugh. You laugh as well. The humorous fall just made things funny.

“Oppa, come here.” Minju hugs you to cuddle.

You both lay on the couch snuggled up to each other.

“How is it for you? Is it alright?” You bring up.

“It was painful at first but as it goes on. I think I’m enjoying it.”

“Same here. Let’s finish this.”

Minju sits up on the couch and brings you to your bedroom.

Now on the bed, you go back to your position. Minju is on the bottom and you are on the top. You go back thrusting. But you can go faster than before now you have gotten used to the motion.

Things go on and on. You moving while Minju is receiving the pleasure. You can also feel it but what you are happy about is that Minju is also enjoying it.

But then your legs start to feel weak. You are about to have your orgasm. Soon you cum. You shoot everything and empty your balls.

You get off Minju and lay next to her.

“It was better than I thought.” Minju’s mouth is wide open.

You are on the bed. “I thought it was pleasurable as well.” You bring out a small smile.

But then you start to fall asleep. Things begin to drift to darkness. You are tired and the sex just made things more.

Then you jolt and wake up.

“Minju! We didn’t use a condom!”

Minju also sits up. “Did…did cum in me?”

“Do you have birth control?”

“No! I wouldn’t expect to need one.”

You lay back down on the bed with your hands on your head. “You should get tested.”

“I’ll…I’ll…take one sooon.”

“Soon?! We need to know!”

“My girls warned me about this. I need to wait for my period or miss it to check. Promise me one thing.”

“What?”

“Will you be there if I’m pregnant?”

“Of course.”

Minju lies down beside you. “Then we shouldn’t worry about it, okay? If I’m not pregnant then good. But if I am then we have a lot of things to do.”

“Okay night, Minju.”

“Goodnight Oppa.”

#kpop smut #izone smut #kim minju #minju smut

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merceyca · 5 months ago

Text

Driving lesson

Neil takes Robin for a drive on one of her bad days

Campus was dead. The street lights were holding a glowing orange-and-white vigil around the empty parking lot while a single car idled in one of the parking spaces. The engine was warm, steam visibly escaping the gaps around the hood until the driver removed the keys from the ignition and held them out in offering to the passenger.

Only the lack of an audience made Robin feel comfortable enough to take the car keys off of Neil and manoeuvre herself into the driver’s seat. They could have easily gotten out of the car and swapped seats the sensible way, instead of performing their complicated over-under move atop the console, but Neil got the sense that Robin didn’t want the car doors unlocked tonight. It was a bad day.

Even though the cheery canary-yellow car was Robin’s, it was hers in name alone. Neil had been the only person to drive it in months. He didn’t mind driving it around, but Neil wasn’t going to be at Palmetto next year, so Robin desperately needed this practice behind the wheel.

‘That’s it,’ Neil encouraged as Robin eased off the brake. ‘You remember the way to the court?’

Robin nodded. ‘Left at the intersection.’

‘Blinker on?’

‘There’s no one behind me.’

‘Robin.’

Robin smirked and flicked the blinker on. ‘Sorry, Cap.’

The jokes were a good sign. On Robin’s really bad days Neil struggled to get more than a few words out of her. She had come a long way.

With her dwindling driving confidence, Robin wasn’t going to be drag racing any time soon, but Neil would feel better leaving her if she could—at the very least—make it to the court on her own.

Robin drove carefully; eyes alert, hands in the ten-and-two o’clock position, red speedometer needle hovering right at the speed limit. Neil only ever saw this kind of intensity from her on the court, but after her day of languishing in bed, it was a relief to see her slowly coming back to herself.

‘Is it left here or the next one?’ Robin asked.

‘Next one,’ Neil told her. ‘After the—’

‘After the sushi train. Yeah, I remember now.’

They were silent as Robin made the turn—blinker on—before Neil decided to push his luck. ‘Are you still not hungry?’

‘I ate that apple you gave me earlier,’ Robin replied, a little defensive.

‘Maybe we could get something from the convenience store on ring road? If I don’t pick up Andrew’s ice cream he might never visit again on principle.’

Robin frowned. ‘I thought Andrew wasn’t coming until Thursday?’

‘It is Thursday,’ Neil said gently. ‘His flight got in two hours ago. Aaron’s dropping him back at the tower later.’

‘Oh, okay,’ Robin murmured. ‘We can make a stop, I guess.’

‘Thank you,’ Neil said. As usual, Andrew had been the magic word. Robin put up with Neil looking after her most of the time, but only Andrew could motivate her to look after herself.

—

Robin and Neil returned to their dorm to find the door unlocked. Keeping Robin behind him, Neil entered first, on high alert until he spotted Andrew’s black-clad figure reclining on the couch.

‘Hey,’ Neil said, aware that he was failing to restrain his smile.

Andrew’s look was unimpressed. ‘Have neither of you ever heard of a hamper?’

Out of the corner of Neil’s eye, he saw Robin glance over at the mound of denim Andrew indicated with a wave. Neil was too busy drinking Andrew in with his eyes.

‘Oh, you mean the jeans corner,’ Robin said.

‘I give up on both of you,’ Andrew informed them.

Neil held up the bag in his hand. ‘Even if there’s a pint of chocolate fudge brownie in here?’

Andrew’s stare turned heated, making Robin giggle into the next bite of her sandwich. ‘Should I retreat to the bedroom with an action movie and The Good Headphones?’ she asked, dodging the kick Neil aimed at her ankle.

‘Children,’ Andrew scoffed, but Neil caught the pleased undertone beneath the scorn. He took that to mean that things had gone well with Aaron.

Neil tossed the tub of ice cream at Andrew and watched him snatch it from the air with ease. Robin took another bite of her sandwich as she joined Andrew on the couch.

Andrew said, ‘Staring.’

Robin said, ‘Get the man a spoon.’

Neil felt warm all over.

#all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court #neil josten #andrew minyard #aftg ficlet #aftg fic #andreil #robin cross #merceydrabbles

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gatitties · 11 months ago

Text

Mute: O7. Fight

O1. Flowers / O2. Friends! / O3. Study / O4. Ice-cream / O5. Sick / O6. Locked up / O7. Fight / O8. Friends? / O9. Grateful / 1O. Wishes

@chiyoso

It could be said that nothing was going right that day; you woke up late making your appearance more sloppy and disheveled than usual, you were scolded with the punishment of cleaning several classrooms and you got a low score on an exam. Nothing worse could happen, right? As soon as you left your class you received a message from the girls in the club, they seemed quite worried about you, as if something had happened to you. You reassured them by sending several messages, they told you that someone had entered the area where they planted the flowers without permission, so you ran there quickly.

You didn't even realize that the guys from the team saw you run desperately towards your club and followed you. When you arrived your eyes opened, some plants were destroyed without petals or crushed, the land with fertile soil completely removed causing destruction, the fertilizer scattered all over the place and the most remarkable thing; on the wall was a word written in what looked like red paint.

Monster

Your brow furrowed at the written word. What did that mean? Your companions looked at each other, sighing heavily, they explained that someone had surely entered leaving everything upside down to give a warning, they were not sure but they believed that that person did not like that you were friends with Tendou.

The girls looked behind you to gulp, there were some of the volleyball boys, including Tendou who was looking around the room with narrowed eyes and a weird expression. Seeing this, they told you that it would be better to start collecting tomorrow and that, for today they would only inform the director. When you faced the boys you just lowered your head, gave them a thumbs up to inform them that everything would be fine, they just nodded without much confidence to walk to the convenience store as usual. Right now you were in a corridor together with the redhead buying some snacks, but there was a strange silence, normally he used to talk freely about his things no matter what but he was just quiet.

«Are you okay?»

He looked at you for a few seconds to brush your hair with a vague smile.

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?"

He grabbed his things to go quickly to pay, leaving you a little disconcerted by his behavior, you blinked back to reality, taking advantage of the fact that Eita was passing by, you tugged on his sleeve to get his attention, writing quickly.

«Something wrong with Tendou?»

The boy looked at you feeling a little uncomfortable, even so he replied that usually people pick on him or push him away for having that bad appearance, you thanked him with a nod. The time you had spent with Semi was enough for Ushijima and Tendou to reach the entrance of the campus where there were more people who were probably leaving their activities. You ran to catch up with them but tripped over a stone on your way, luckily a boy saved you from kissing the ground.

"Oh, you should be more careful."

He smiled kindly although something inside you told you not to trust him, he seemed familiar to you, maybe he was an honor student in some class you helped with the flower decorations because he seemed to know you. You bowed indicating that you would go to the side of your friends, who watched the scene.

"You shouldn't hang out with that team, they're too weird."

Somewhat disconcerted you looked at him, his friends nodded, you denied wrinkling your eyebrows.

"You are too fragile, we will treat you better."

You denied again, causing a sour expression on the contrary.

"Do you have a problem with our friend?"

Your savior Shirabu intervened, you mentally thanked him for his salty personality right now.

"I don't think it's convenient for you to mess with people older than you, little boy."

"Little boy? At least I'm not as mononeural as you, surely you're in class one, or do you have a poor scholarship?"

Apparently he was right to see how the boy got angry causing an arrogant smile to slide over the setter's features. This action further pissed off the other one who was preparing to hit the second year if it wasn't for a roaring laugh that stopped everyone.

"How nice, Shirabu playing the hero."

The redhead put a hand on your shoulders, giving a vague nod of greeting, earning disapproving looks from the teens.

"Let's go, we don't want to cause problems for old Washijo with fights."

He excused himself to drag you to where the others were but they pulled on your arm strongly, your face hit the chest of the boy who helped you before, your cheeks inadvertently dyed with embarrassment.

"Don't put her in your things, monster."

Tendou narrowed his eyes looking at you, you were starting to get uncomfortable about the situation.

"You should let her go."

His voice sounded deeper than usual.

"Oh yeah? I don't want someone like you to hurt her, she's too helpless."

"Let her go."

"Force me."

From one moment to another you were pushed towards one of the boy's henchmen seeing how they hit Tendou, you didn't even notice when Shirabu pulled you to his side and how Ushijima stopped the fight. You felt bad seeing how they looked at him, how they had treated him and how he did not defend himself despite the blows, you felt his pain and that oppressed your heart. the worst thing is that you couldn't do anything else because they took him to the infirmary, you really felt as if they had hit you instead of him.

#reader insert #hq #haikyuu #fem reader #shiratorizawa #tendou #tendou satori x reader #mute fanfic #mute reader #tendou fanfic #tendou x fem reader #sfw #haikyuu x reader

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f1stargirll · 1 year ago

Text

Conversation friends • Lando Norris

Chapter One

Word count : 2.150k

Hi guys this is my first time ever writing fanfic. I’ve had this idea for a while now and decided write it! So if any of y’all has feedback/ requests or constructive criticism I’ll be more than happy to listen! (or if u just wanna talk i’m here too <3)

Btw English isn’t my first language so don’t be too harsh on me pls🧚🏼‍♀️

Description : slow burn, college!au (enemies to lovers) and more to come.

I’m gonna make it work. I am going to make this work.

Looking around the tiny apartment I had just collected the keys to, the realization that I was finally here, alone, started sinking in slowly. This was going to be my home for the next year, a tiny apartment in a huge city I barely knew anything about, let alone knew anyone in.

It actually looks cozy, and at least it’s conveniently close to the University.

I really am going to make it work. I started unpacking and realized the need for groceries was imminent so I grabbed my keys and headed for the nearest store GoogleMaps indicated to me.

Strolling around the different isles didn’t feel as unfamiliar as I thought it would, I guess Lidl stores are always a relatively universal experience. But after a few minutes in the store, the bright neon lights and the exhaustion from the flight were seeping into my brain and making me slightly overstimulated.

Okay, got the pasta. Now I need pads and tampons and we’ll be good to go.

Mindlessly putting the cardboard box in my cart, I’m suddenly forced to look up from the huge list I had written on my phone when I feel a finger tapping my left shoulder. I quickly remove one of my headphones and turn around to face the person in front of me.

“Do you mind ?”a boy, around my age but slightly taller than I am, faces me and stares at me with an icy expression.

What’s his deal ? Wait he’s kinda…

“You’re in my way”, he spats.

He’s wearing a simple gray hoodie and sweatpants combo and a black cap hiding what seemed to be loose curls, some of them still peeking from underneath it. His baby blue eyes were piercing through me. He kept his airpods in his ears.

“I’m sorry ?” I responded slightly confused, not really hearing him well above Hozier’s new album playing in my ear.

“Do you not understand English?” He removes one of his hands from the pockets of his sweatpants to point at the box of pasta positioned right behind me, “I said you’re in my fucking way, I’ve repeated it 5 times and you’re still standing there like an idiot,” he mutters through gritted teeth, “unlike you, I don’t have all night.”

Oh, he did not just talk to me like this.

“Well there you go, almighty king of Lidl!” I exclaim while handing him the precious item, "your all powerful box of Linguini” I add, fake bowing down in irony, my face burning in anger. The exhaustion from the flight and the move had already made me easily irritable, but this was just the icing on the cake.

“Are you out of your mind?” he asks, snatching the box away from my grasp, “You just have to make a scene, huh? You’re hysterical” he huffs exiting the aisle, a baffled expression on his face.

So now I’m the crazy one? Unbelievable.

God this was the last thing I needed right now.

I sigh in exasperation, not having the strength to run after him and put up a fight.

This is going to be a long year.

Brushing my bangs slightly away from my eyes, I take a step back in my small bathroom to look for any flaws like unblended makeup or toothpaste stains on my outfit. I tend to have those a lot.

Today is my first day of class and an introduction to the daily life I was about to embark on, so looking and feeling good was quite important.

Taking the small commute to the campus, I sit next to Lola, a girl I met at the bus station earlier this morning. She instantly was very kind and helped me find my way, which turned out to be convenient for the both of us since we were heading towards the same classes. I told her about my trip from Paris and how I was here for a year abroad and she told me all about her dreams of visiting my hometown. We talked for the whole ride and exchanged Instagrams. Lola was a ray of sunshine, a gleam of light in this anxiety-inducing morning.

She also looked like the perfect representation of the sunshine; her hair a polar blond color, eyes as blue as the Mediterranean sea and a porcelain skin adorned with beautiful yet irregular freckles.

Having her by my side for the first classes felt really comforting and I was relieved to find out we shared most of our semester’s classes together. We were both English majors, and since she was here last year she had promised to help me with anything I wouldn’t understand; as I said, a ray of sunshine. We spent the day learning all about this year’s curriculum and all the work we were about to achieve.

Heading towards my last class of the day, the first meeting of what was called “Conversation Friends”. It was a program I had applied to while enrolling here, international students meeting local students once a week to exchange in English or the student’s native language. A program created to help international students better their English and make new connections.

Not knowing anyone here, I thought it would be a great opportunity to make a friend, share a nice moment and discover the city better.

But Lola warned me not to get too excited since most students in the university only did it to gain extra credit or even get a quick hookup out of it. Fine with me, people can do whatever they want, I believe I’ll still get to meet someone nice.

I like to think of myself as a pretty open person so it shouldn’t be too hard to connect with whoever it’ll turn out to be.

Walking into the amphitheater, I decide to choose a seat in the middle row and take out my notebook to write down some notes. Looking around, I can see a lot of different students from every corner of the earth and I suddenly feel a wave of comfort knowing I’m not the only one who left home for this new adventure.

“Is this seat taken?”a boy with a thick Australian accent asks while pointing to the seat on my left.

“Not at all, it’s all yours”I responded with a smile which he returned. And boy did he return it. That man was all teeth, and nose. I extended my hand to introduce myself, “my name is y/n, I’m guessing you’re Australian right?”.

He took my hand and shook it earnestly, “You’re good! I’m Daniel, nice to meet you”.

He sat next to me and we started getting to know each other quickly. Daniel seemed really kind and was really funny. I learned that he was majoring in geography (didn’t even realize that was a thing) and lives in the complex right in front of mine. He also has a passion for karting (didn’t know that was a thing either).

He’s cute. Daniel is really cute. With his little brown curls, sparkly eyes, and his smile, so big it could resuscitate a dying dentist.

He told me a little more about the program too since he had been part of it last year in a university in Montreal. He informed me that our partners were going to be chosen randomly and that we’re not allowed to change if we don’t get along.

That sucks. I hope my partner’s gonna be nice or funny, or both like Daniel. Well not just like Daniel but at least a little like Daniel, why do I keep talking about Daniel ? Daniel’s just really cute.

“So, how do you like it here so far?”he asks, crossing his long legs in front of him.

“Well, I’ve only been here for two days so I really couldn’t tell you much. I yelled at this very rude guy when I went shopping yesterday, all for some Linguini.” He questions my answer with an amused expression in his eyes.”I also met this really nice girl, Lola, she reminds me of you a little bit actually, must be the golden retriever energy.” I smile as I answer his question, feeling grateful for my encounter with the blonde this morning. At least.

“So you’re calling me a dog, after I’ve been nothing but kind, that’s what you’re doing? Wow y/n, wow.” He replies with a dramatic hand on his chest and a goofy smile on his face. “Can’t believe you fought over pasta.”

On the main stage, a professor clears his throat into the mic, telling us that the meeting is about to start. He then takes the first ten minutes to inform us on all the details of the program, like how partners have to meet at least once a week, on campus or in cultural instances like museums, cinemas or parks, some of which will be organized by the university and thus mandatory.

As if you have to ask me twice to go out for a movie, whoever it’s with and whatever the movie is, oh baby I am going to be in that seat eating my sweet popcorn. Except for horror movies, can’t watch those. I’m scared of everything horror or creepy, I can't even watch children’s movies like The Nightmare Before Christmas or Caroline.

The clanking of two fish bowls on the professor’s desks takes me out of my thoughts and I realize that he’s really about to pull out our names and assign us to partners like it’s the sunday lottery.

This is going to be very entertaining.

“Please stand up when I call out your name so your partner can see you as well,“ the professor instructs us.

His hand mixes around the first bowl of tiny pieces of paper and pulls out the first name “Daniel Ricciardo” he says into the mic, looking around for the Australian boy sitting next to me.

Daniel stands up proudly, waving at everyone in the audience like he’s on stage at a beauty pageant. His partner is next, a charming Asian boy called Alex, who was sitting front row and turned around to find Daniel and waved at him aggressively.

These two look like they’re about to have a lot of fun. Lucky Daniel.

Of course my name came up last, because why wouldn’t it ? I stand up as I hear my name being called out and let my eyes investigate the remaining students in the room, until I see him.

Fucking Linguini.

“Lando Norris” I simultaneously hear over the speakers as I see the boy who disrespected me in the middle of shopping yesterday stand up from his seat.

This can’t be real, this is a practical joke.

As his eyes meet mine I can see the smile he previously wore on his face disappear and make way for disgust as his brain processed how I looked so familiar.

The audacity of that man.

“Perfect! Apparently now everybody is paired with their partners,” the professor smiles in contentment, “now if every pair could please make its way to the front of the room to sign the register.”

As I make my way over to the front of the room, I see my so-called partner bolting towards the professor and hear him babbling about how he can’t be my partner and begs to trade with someone else.

“Norris, we both know you can’t afford to miss out on the extra credit, and the pairs have already been established, there’s no negotiation” the professor answers him sternly.

I can’t believe it. He was the one who was bad-mannered and almost verbally assaulted me in the middle of the store for nothing! I was actually considering putting this behind us to start the program on a good note and give him a chance but apparently that would be in vain. If he wants to be petty, I can beat him at his own game, that’s for sure.

Standing in front of him, I tilt my head to the side to meet his gaze “You are just unbelievable! I barely know your name and you’re already making me regret enrolling in this program.”

Looking right at me, he hands me the paper I have to sign without a word.

“You’re actually not going to talk to me? We barely know each other, this is ridiculous!” I exclaim in irritation, snatching the paper from his hands the way he snatched the box of pasta from my hands the day before.

“Can you not be annoying ? Or is that impossible for you?”he blurts out in resentment, “I’m just trying to do this thing and go home, you’ll find my email on the thing or whatever” he says without even giving you the time to respond.

This is definitely going to be a very long year.

#formula one #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x reader #lando norris #lando norris x y/n #formula one fanfiction #enemies to lovers #college!au #university!au

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atxxzist · 2 years ago

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broken | c.s (05)

prev // next // series m.list

pairing: choi san x reader

word count: 5.7k

warning: san is awful im sorry, depictions of anxiety & trauma, lots of insecurities, very brief smut scene, pls do lmk if i missed anything!

the irony of it to rain on such a day might just be a pure coincidence, or maybe life really is cruel and it's a sick reflection of your current situation.

you're sure it's just the weather but it does feel like the sky is laughing at you; at the conflicts running rounds in your head and all the unanswered questions that only keeps adding up.

you exit the bathroom with showered hair and slightly drenched clothes, eyes immediately landing on san's angled figure as he goes to search the fridge for something.

it's the first time he doesn't instantly kick you out or tried to leave after sex, instead having told you to get cleaned up and proceeded to hand you a set of clean clothes.

you don't know why or how he just has that laying around considering he lives alone and very much only wear men's attires. or perhaps you do, but you don't allow yourself to even think of the possibility.

you stand still in your spot, unsure of what to say. the last time you actually had a proper conversation with him was so long ago, if you're not spewing something suggestive in response or moaning his name, it's like you don't know how to talk to him anymore.

fortunately, he notices you before you're to say anything.

"hey, you're back," he says, coming off a little too enthusiastic that has your head turning towards the light once again; that small ounce of hope that he's happy to see your return.

"hey," you reply with a smile.

he closes the fridge--your attention moving to the can of sprite in his clutch as he takes a sip. he's in sweatpants and a black t-shirt, hair still a little wet and messy from having just taken a shower before you but he looks so good. he always does.

"want one?" he offers, gesturing to the drink in his hold. you shake your head.

he hums and proceeds to take another gulp. you continue standing in front of the bathroom door for a few more seconds before heading to the couch with small, awkward steps.

your palms dig into your knees and your lips are shut tight as you think of something to say; something that will make the time spent with him all more memorable in comparison to the ones before.

"hey, san..."

the weather was more leniet at first--only small sprinkles and droplets that coats your eyelashes, making your vision all more blurry. but it grows increasingly worse.

the sprinkles and droplets morphing into heavy rain that wets the pavements and has everyone rushing for any kind of cover--including you.

you find yourself under the hood of a convenience store with at most three other people, hoping the rain will die out soon or at least enough so you guys can continue on your day, though knowing it's not going to happen any sooner.

the weather doesn't magically change just because it's bringing misery to all those around.

and you would've taken a cab, but just yesterday you realized that most of your spendings went to cab fares--going and coming back from san's place, if you continue on any longer, you just might wind up penniless by the end of the month.

so you opted for traveling by foot since the distance from campus isn't too bad. you just didn't think mother nature would have other plans in mind.

you don't even notice how close you are to the entrance of the store until someone's chest hits your back, causing you to fly just a step forward.

"sorr--" both of you utter at the same time; you turning around and the word gets clogged immediately because it's not a stranger that happened to bump into you, but someone you recognize.

"oh... what are the chances." yeosang laughs; the door slamming behind him.

he has an umbrella in one hand and a bag in the other.

"right, what are the chances," you repeat after.

"waiting for someone, or?"

"no," you deny with furrowed brows. "it's raining hard."

"oh..." his eyes light up. "just as they forecasted. reason why i brought an umbrella, though it was pretty light before."

right... the weather forecast. why didn't you think of that?

"what do you like to watch?" you ask, the idea having came along because of his tv situated in front.

he doesn't answer right away, settling on a short silence first.

"just movies and the occasional dramas."

you nod slowly, deciding if you should pry any further, because ever since the first question you asked him, you've gathered up a strange amount of confidence to make up for your curiosity regarding what kind of person san is.

he didn't seem to be on board with it the first time, but he was somewhat neutral about it the second and third time, answering without the bitterness that used to grace his tone.

his answers proved to be very efficient in filling up a certain section of your notebook you've titled: facts about choi san.

birthday: july 10th

favorite color: purple

major cat lover

"any specific ones in mind?" you pry either way, but in the end, curiosity does indeed kill the cat.

he appreciates your efforts; the willingness to learn about someone like him, but he's told you... that it won't matter. because soon enough, you will see that he is someone not worth knowing; not worth all the time or efforts.

he answered your questions in hope of you understanding that--not because he somehow had a change of mind. and he really doesn't want to do it; he thinks you're too sweet and too kind, but he's gonna have to.

because if he doesn't do it now, he's going to have to do it some time in the future--tell you what all of this between you and him really is, and that you have it all wrong, even if he's the one to feed the idea into your head.

all this deeper talk and getting to know's--it won't matter and it likely never will. because choi san doesn't do relationships and he has never loved anyone ever.

"what were you even doing out and about anyways?" yeosang asks.

you want to snark back just because he's yeosang and for all you know, that might've been a jab. but you don't.

because he's allowing you to walk back to campus with him, huddling under the lone umbrella he brought.

"i just got back from the first day of my job."

"ah," he lets out like it's all coming together. "that was kind of quick."

"what is?" you turn to him.

"well, the job field has been kind of tough lately. and you found one pretty fast. that's kind of impressive."

you snicker, because a compliment from yeosang is almost too uncanny, and also because it's definitely not impressive at all. if only he knew how you came about getting the job.

you had a similar conversation with mingi and yunho not too long ago; them with equally eager ears to hear about how you went at scoring a job before them.

if you wanted to give them a heart attack, you would tell the truth. thankfully, you care for their well-being.

"i guess so..." you mumble.

he doesn't answer; the both of continuing on with light steps, kicking the wet pavement that causes the water to rise and then drop.

you feel surprisingly at peace; calm, and like you can breathe even if just for a short while. how odd of you to feel such a thing when yeosang's by your side.

you sneak a quick glance his direction, but it's enough to catch how far he has the umbrella toward your end, it's barely covering him--proven when you slouch over slightly and see that his side and shoulder are wet.

you take the initiative to grab a part of the umbrella's handle to scoot it over to his side.

"your things are going to get wet," you refer to his short snacks run. you're definitely not concerned about him.

he looks down at the bag from your comment, seeing that only the side is partly damped, he shrugs it off.

"almost there," is all he says; you trying to keep from rolling your eyes and protesting when he scoots the umbrella back to cover your entire head.

"you walked here?" he shifts the topic.

"well, yes," you answer.

"and you didn't think of taking a cab or having someone pick you up in this weather?"

"no..."

no one you know--that being mingi and yunho, owns a car and a cab is out of your budget, and that despite the standing of yours and san's 'relationship' as of currently, you hoped he would've at least offered you a ride or something.

because he was the one who got you the job, and you did told him they finally called you back; that you were scheduled for training the following day.

just wishful thinking.

the dorms is within view soon enough; yeosang walking with you to yours and stopping at the front where the rain cannot reach, fast to shrink the umbrella away.

his and yunho's room is just in the next building, only a short walk ahead.

"next time, bring an umbrella or check the forecast at least." it sounds like he's scolding you and you can't help but to crack a tiny smile.

"okay, mom," you reply playfully and he scoffs in return.

"and don't think i'm growing a soft spot for you or something. but it would truly be a shame if i left you out there. can't have yunho and mingi worrying if something was to happen to you."

you roll your eyes but let a dry chuckle escape. because though his words are harsh, something tells you he's just trying to put on a front and probably doesn't mean it. at least not all of it.

"whatever you say." there's a provoking smile on your face, but he brushes it off.

"see you," he mumbles hardly audible and already turns his back on you, but stops in track when you shout his name making his feet shuffle around.

he doesn't say anything, only raising an eyebrow.

"thank you," you utter just loud enough for him but with a softer tone you didn't even know you were capable of.

confusion strikes his expression as if he heard it wrong, but when you don't budge--only keeping a still smile on, his face relaxes.

"yeah..." he replies.

tears seem to have welled up in your eyes; a radiant glow in them that san can see even from where he's standing.

he didn't mean to snap at you like that--having came off so short and annoyed from your eagerness and nonstop questions. he knows you're delicate and fragile; he knows.

but you wouldn't stop asking; wouldn't stop prying, and he had to do it. but now that your palms are rubbing over your knees with trembly lips and tears pricking your vision, he definitely does feel a little shitty.

a heavy sigh leaves him, one hand raking over his hair but he still puts his drink down to walk to where you are, taking the empty seat beside.

your lashes flutters once and a lone tear drops down to your cheek before you wipe it away with a sniffle.

he's definitely had his name cursed before but he hasn't exactly had a crying girl who makes him retract even for a mere second.

he scoots closer, shortening the gap and his hands reaches for you to look at him; clasps on the side of your face so he can meet your eyes--dull, sad ones--different to those he's used to seeing that's overflowed with hatred and anger.

"hey, hey..." he murmurs whisper-like, thumbs soothing over your skin as if you're a wounded animal and needs only the utmost care or you'll break any moment.

"you okay?" his gaze sinks into yours and it could've convinced you he really does care. perhaps a part of you already believes it.

"i-i just don't get why you always get so short-tempered when i ask something..." you manage to get out through the quivering on your lips.

his eyes drop to his lap with a low sigh before he fixates them on yours again.

"i just don't think they're that important."

“even if i answer, it won’t matter.” his words from last time all of a sudden coming back, and they ring so similarly.

your lips distort into a pout, both your hands slowly creeping up to overtake his.

"i just want to know more about you. that's it," you say almost like a whine.

it's probably annoyance that crosses his face; him having told you more than once already and still, you're insisting.

"baby," he coos, his touch are like silk when he goes to tuck some strands of hair behind your ear. he thinks your eyes are even sadder without all the loose strands in the way.

"you're overthinking."

silence fills the room shortly before you speak again.

"then... can i just ask you one last question? only one more."

the hesitation that graces his body language doesn't go unnoticed, but he nods and ushers, "go ahead."

you have to swallow down the pit in your stomach; ignore the voice in your head that's probably internally cringing, because what you're about to say is going to make you sound pathetic as hell.

"a-are we in a relationship?"

it's the question that's been on your mind for the longest time ever since he kissed you and more. all of this... what does it mean?

the way he's unmoved in his position with a blank expression makes you want to recoil. because though you're practically an amateur when it comes to such a thing, you do want him to say yes.

"no? i don't think so?"

the deep disappointment that leaves your chest along with a rough exhale has san scrambling for a second attempt. his hands has moved to his laps by now, but his eyes stays gawking at you.

"well... define relationship. there's many kinds."

now he's trying to deflect; prolong the painful revelation for just a little longer. because when he breaks it to you, he knows it will hurt a lot.

"i mean, are we dating?" you keep your gaze trained on him, eyes not even wandering for a second--like if you keep it there, he will answer faster... though you already know what he's going to say. the first answer he gave is very telling.

you were just hoping you could defy all odds.

"no."

there's no shame or embarrassment in the way he said it. you almost wish there was; that there would be even just the smallest of guilt that slips out. but nothing. he doesn't even feel sorry enough to detach from your gaze. in fact, it has never left.

"then... what are we?"

the ease in his movements and features; lacking of any kind of tenseness that has taken over you completely tells you this is a much bigger deal to you than him.

"we're..." he drags his words before finishing it off, "friends." a smile settling on him after that makes you feel so sick--whether it's from how attractive he still looks or how the answer brings out so many other questions.

"friends?" you reiterate like you're in denial.

"yeah, friends."

"do friends sleep with each other?" kiss each other, visit one another and spew such sweet, blush-inducing words that conjures up butterflies?

"some friends do."

the aloofness and the attitude; it's all like he's rehearsed this exact conversation before. or maybe... maybe you're not the first one to ask him such a thing, but you have to mentally shut that thought out.

you're quiet and you're thinking--thinking of so many things. your hands are clasped together in your lap and your eyes has dropped to his knees as if they're the most fascinating thing at the moment.

he swallows down and is the one to break the silence.

"but, if you don't want to be friends, that's fine as well."

your head snaps up immediately at that and you look almost scared, terrified of the possibility of not being able to see or be with him again.

he takes one of your hand into his while the other one strokes over the skin of your cheek with care before placing a kiss on your forehead; his touch such a contrast to the harshness leaving his mouth.

"you don't have to give me an answer now. but, when you make up your mind, call me or something. either way, i'm not going to be mad or upset."

he smiles and finally lets go of your hand and of everything else that he has connected to you.

one minute it's like you're so close and the next, he's slipping away from your grasp and everything else around you is growing dimmer; darker.

"you should go. keep the clothes."

and like every other times, you always do. but you can't help but think if you had not asked him that question; not let the eagerness and curiosity get to you, maybe he might've let you stayed longer.

you lay awake in your bed, the room a little dark but that's the least of your worries.

granted, with yuna being your roommate and all her decorations and paintings being shoved in your face, you would think you'd be familiar with them by now. but you haven't really spent much time breaking down her choices and the stories behind them--with art not really your type of thing.

but with the former anxiety that has crawled into your system again, your body tense and racing with nothing to do, your mind latches onto any kind of distractions--even if short term.

yuna has exactly three paintings that she has hanging. she wanted more at first but opted only for those she thought showed off her skill the best; limited by space and an intense dislike for clutters.

the lotus from before is situated in the middle and the other two yields similar color stories--of soft and pastel pink with dashes of blue here and there.

you're absolutely clueless about art, but it does give you an idea of what yuna likes and how much the style fits her personality if you know her personally.

the one on the left is more abstract, the pink and blue really sticking out in the pattern she painted them in. while the one on the far right looks like an actual drawing before plastering all the strokes over it.

it's of a princess and a prince, standing in front of a blurred castle staring into each other's eyes and you can only assume they're deeply in love--at least judging by the long black curves yuna had drawn on her and his mouth that depicts them smiling.

or maybe they're not in love, that's possible, too. after all, it's yuna's art, not yours. but you do wonder what exactly yuna had in mind when she made it.

because everything and everyone has a story; san, too.

and now... you're just overthinking things.

so you close your eyes and let the exhaustion from today consume you, drifting off to sleep where the mind can relax and all the weight of the world disappears temporarily.

you're sitting on your knees, everything dark around you except for the only source of light being a light bulb that hangs above your head.

whether you're in a room or not, you can't tell. but it looks like the darkness stretches out beyond; like if you keep walking, it'll go on forever.

then your eyes drop to your lap--your hands palming them and you're taken aback because your fingers... they're a lot smaller; and you catch the jeans you're wearing, then the light blue cardigan that you haven't seen in so long--it was an outfit you often wore back in grade school.

suddenly, you hear a voice. a loud voice; a female voice. she's angry and her words hold so much passionate hatred in them, a switch in your brain goes off because there's only one person who you recognize in this tone: your mother.

after she speaks, a new, different one comes in just as loud as hers, but he's frustrated; defeated. it's your father.

you can't make out what they're saying anymore because their voices merge together to create a concotion that makes the hair on your skin rise, producing a vibration that is felt through your whole body at the vile nature of it all--

your eyes snap open, beads of sweat forming on your forehead as you attempt to catch your breath.

when you shoot up to read the time by the nightstand, it's the awful revelation that only an hour has gone by, still seven in the evening but yet, it felt so much longer.

the image of what you just dreamt creeps up and you have to squeeze the headache away.

it's been so long... or at least a good while that you had one of those dreams; nightmares if you can call it that.

not the kind that's usually plastered on covers with monsters crawling from under beds or having been body swapped with a bee. but the ones that serves as a reminder of how much of a burden your existence is--to your parents, to your aunt and uncle, and to all those around you.

“have you ever had intrusive thoughts that keeps you awake at night? or things that just, no matter how hard you try pushing to the back of your mind, you can’t seem to get rid of?”

was it that you really couldn't think of anything, or were you just hoping that if you put a band-aid as a solution to the problem; move to a new town and leave everything behind, it will go away on its own?

entry #5

i had one of those dreams again... at least a good portion of my senior year leading up to me moving to seoul had been okay... probably because i had some kind of hope to cling onto--that being a new beginning and all. i used to get them a lot, shortly after moving with my aunt and uncle, and even they started appearing in them, too, along with junseo after he broke up with me. i'm still not 100% what causes them, but i do notice a pattern that it usually occurs when i'm in great distress and my mind whirls into the deeper end. i think i'm overstressing myself too much regarding san...

you do everything in your power for the next couple of days to keep your mind occupied so it doesn't think of san--doesn't think of junseo's words because if you linger on it long enough, you just might believe it.

that you really are undeserving of being loved, and all the pains you've suffered were brought upon by your own lack of competence.

you have to really not think; just keep your mind running with a backlog of things to do.

mingi and yunho are suspicious at first of the sudden high volume of requests to hang out but don't think too much of it, just glad that you're going to places that aren't the cafe or library.

yuna also started staying in more, telling you the gatherings and hangouts are getting stale and causing her to have a burnout so she needed a break.

she is a ton of fun to be with and always has an idea in back up of a first idea.

"a date?" you repeat to make sure, your voice turning high.

she nods, at the same time painting over the nail on your ring finger with the chosen yellow shade.

"so, will you do it?"

when she first brought up the idea of doing your nails, you didn't think it'd come with a request as well--her having scored a double date with a cute guy at one of the gatherings with the only problem being she doesn't have anyone else to bring along.

you shift in your spot with hesitation, her silk sheet under brushing against your skin.

"i'm not sure."

she drags another stroke over your pinky before looking up to stare at you.

"his friend might be cute!" the way her eyes go wide is kind of endearing.

you release a quiet giggle, her face at first as equally amused until something seems to click in her head and her eyes go even wider.

"oh! or do you already have someone else? that guy, san, right?" she tilts her head, asking with genuine curiosity. she just didn't expect for the smile on you to falter so quick, she draws back immediately.

even if she doesn't know what you're going through, your reaction is already quite telling.

"sorry..." she mouths.

you shake your head, and throw on another smile though less sincere this time.

"no need to be," you tell her. "i was just wondering if i go on this date, am i going to have to wear something fancy?"

"nope! but if you want to, you can."

"even if it's not anything demanding like that, i don't even think i have a proper attire for the occasion."

she quirks her lips to the side and hums before it looks like she has already found a solution. it's that knowing look in her eyes you think you're starting to get good at picking up.

"you can borrow some of mine!" she says with some kind of excitement that has her flickering the tip of the brush up that you won't be surprise if you find specks of yellow on the wall.

but at her comment, you have to really take in her build and stature, eyeing her up and down. you're not sure if that's going to be possible given she's at least an entire size smaller than you.

"i'll have to think about it," you tell her with a nervous smile.

she lowly breathes out a sigh of defeat.

"okay fine, that works, too. it won't be for another week, so take the time to charge and then let me know."

you'll admit it doesn't sound too bad after some careful considerations. you need all the distractions you can get and this just might be perfect.

you'll be too busy thinking about this 'date' and getting the perfect hair and outfit and how to make a good first impression that san won't even cross your mind at all.

won't even think of what he's doing or why he didn't tell you sooner--what the relationship between you two really is, and why he dragged it out for this long.

yeosang talks to you again and he's going on about setting up a place and time to meet since the second exam is around the corner. and you're thinking it can't be more perfect.

you will have the stress of exams and your professors weighing you down, you won't even have the time to dwell on san even for a bit.

you accept every invitation from mingi and yunho to hang out, whether at the arcade across the street, the rundown movie theater in the shady parts of town, or mingi's and wooyoung's dorm.

you'll also act like the thoughts of wooyoung, being in the proximity of his belongings when in their room doesn't remind you of a friend of his.

but when the night falls and you close your eyes, junseo's words will ring in your head, and despite also hearing your friends' protests in the background where they already debunked everything he had to say about you, you can't help but to think it holds some truth.

that there is definitely something wrong with you and no one would ever take you seriously. your friends told you he's wrong, and you want to believe he is. but even san doesn't want you like that.

no amount of arcade games, dressups, or endless brainrot studying can cure your insecurities and the need to seek out something new but familiar to fill in the void.

because you do want to be loved. not out of pity or out of concerns for your well being in the friendly nature mingi, yunho, and everyone else around you is guilty of. but something more than that.

when your lips call for a kiss, when your ears yearn for whispered sweet words even if they're web of lies, and when the ache between your legs cannot be easily solved with your unskilled fingers, you find yourself at san's doorstep.

because though he may not want you like that, he doesn't treat you like complete shit. he's nice enough and even pretends to care at times.

after all, he did helped you find a job and if it wasn't for him, you would've gotten trampled at the first ever party attended.

the crisped weather has dwindled and the waves of heat are starting to pick up as the month of may settles in, the warmth pricking your skin when standing in front of san's door at eleven in the night time.

when he finally opens, it's how you immediately relax at the sight, him just standing in a t-shirt and shorts, hair damped and a couple strands falling over his eyes.

it's pathetic how safe and homey he makes you feel; how your stomach relieves at just seeing him again.

he looks surprised to see you, of course he is. who else would be knocking on his door this late? maybe only a girl so deprived of love, she will take even the crumbs he give her.

"hey?" he utters, uncertainty in his delivery with one hand still gripping on the handle. but his voice. it's so soft and you haven't heard it in so long.

"m-may i come in?" you ask, for a moment about to draw back and wonder if you're coming off too desperate. but you came crawling all the way to him at this time, so in probability, it can't get much worse.

he nods and lets you in, your eyes wandering the interior that's also familiar.

and san could act like he cares about the proper etiquette of welcoming a guest (in your case an affiliate turned stranger); maybe even get them a glass of water or usher that they can sit anywhere they like, but he isn't one to beat around the bush, especially not on this subject... well, or at least after he's made it clear what the deal between them really is.

"i'm guessing you finally made a choice?" he speaks from behind, slamming the door shut. and judging by your arrival, that can only mean the one choice you decided on.

you turn to him, a shy color on your expression that he won't admit he misses a little as well.

"when you said friends," you mumble, feet naturally striving toward him as if he's a gravitational pull. "d-did you mean we can still..." your mouth tightens itself, unable to deliver the word feeling a blush creep to your cheeks.

you already fucked him so why the hell are you still acting like a damn prude.

a melodic giggle leaves him, him taking steps to close the remaining space until he's so close, you can hear his heartbeats.

fortunately, he knows you... a little too much for your own good.

"yes," he continues where you left off, lips drawing into a smile that brings out those dimples you like so much. you missed them, too.

"whenever you need me, beautiful," he whispers, one hand caressing the side of your face as he strokes with gentle brushes. "i'll be there, to take care of your needs and to make you feel good."

but that's it. that's as much as he can do for you.

"are you fine with that?" he awaits your answer, eyes boring into yours and there's something so scary about the way you're looking at him; something so unsettling about there being no signs of hatred or anger which he might have preferred to being stared at as if he's the most illuminating thing you've ever laid your eyes on.

you nod, a building sensation creeping up that tells you're going to regret it, but you want san. you want him so bad.

so so bad that when he finally kisses you again, you'll act like there's a genuine motive behind how his flesh moves against yours, and when he throws you on the bed, inching to your ear to whisper those sweet words you want to hear, you'll act like it's not a complete lie; that he's not just saying them in the heat of the moment.

when he slides inside of you, you'll pretend it's not just pure, filthy fucking. nothing to dissect behind his movements or the way he's hitting that spot so perfectly.

you close your eyes to indulge in the feeling, and in his temporary words and actions that indicates you guys are something.

after you both cum and he's still laying on top of you trying to catch his breath, he lifts himself slightly to take in your features, suddenly bringing one thumb over to your lips.

"we can stay like this, right? just like this, me and you."

you'll also act like his words doesn't stand as a reminder of reality; of what this between you and him really is.

but when you get out of bed to look for the rest of your clothes, everything starts sinking in like a gnawing pain that runs through your entire body. regrets, sorrow, misery--you don't know which is winning right now.

san doesn't get to tell you to leave, because you're the one who offers. he'll pretend to be taken aback like you don't have to go right now, but you know he's relieved he doesn't have to be the one to say it.

when you get back to the dorm, you feel like absolute shit; like a shadow of the person you barely were, but still, you know that in a couple of days or maybe even sooner, you will go back to him.

and you will wallow in his web of lies and false affirmations just to feel wanted for that very brief moment, only to wind up in the same position you're currently in. you will.

next // series m.list

taglist: @sorryimananti-romantic @revehosh @cookiechristie @avantalem @atiny68 @belletiny @shibera @mochibabycakes @justineasian @eastleighsblog @baguette-atiny @crimson-mia @yeosxxx @m4rsluv @sleepychimm @atz-diary @diorwoo @naiify @becauseiloveyunho @damagelove @softie00 @s-nsanshine @atinytinaa @moonseonghwa @lemontreefantasy @wooyoung4eva @yeosangsbiceps @likexaxdaydream @knucklesdeepmingi

#ateez angst #san x reader #choi san angst #choi san x reader #ateez series #san smut #san angst #fic: broken

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strugglingfloralclerk · 4 months ago

Text

Influence

Summary: (TodorokixOC) Sometimes it takes a little bit of blackmail and good old fashioned vandalism to get friends out of sour moods. TW: Implies domestic abuse/violence, implied self harm, and vandalism. Discretion advised.

🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚

Todoroki knew his family history was overwhelming and that was the polite way to describe it. He didn't like to broadcast that information if he didn't have to, but now...all of Japan knew.

Dabi was Touya and Touya was Dabi, and it made no sense that Endeavor tried to replicate his 'perfect heir' project not once but twice. The absolute nerve of that man.

For the past week, different members of Class 1-A tried to get Todoroki to talk about it. They wanted him to express some angry words about Endeavor and move on.

Momo suggested he talk to the campus counselor. Toru suggested family therapy without Endeavor. Midoriya recommended Todoroki write a strongly worded letter to Endeavor about his shit parenting style. Bakugo told him to get over it.

Todoroki felt sick to his stomach. The trauma never ended, it only accelerated.

"Stop it." Taika's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Her pretty face marred by the mean expression that settled into her features. "Todoroki, this has gone on long enough."

He wanted to say something smart, something sharp at her command but he had nothing.

"Get up." Taika ungracefully snatched Todoroki's wallet from his nightstand, and waved it front of him.

"No." Was the young man's reply as he settled further into the comfort of his bed. What? Was she bribing him with his own money? Was she being funny?

Taika pulled out an extremely sharp pair of kitchen scissors from the pocket of her old highschool hoodie.

Todoroki cocked his head at her, a frown cemented on his features as he felt both curious and uneasy at the sight of the scissors so close to his wallet.

"Do whatever." He replied lowly.

Taika didn't miss a beat. "Alright, since you gave me permission." She opened the wallet and picked up Todoroki's shiny, provisional hero lisence and tapped the edge of the card with the scissors. It was easy and damn near painless to get new bank cards-getting a new hero license, not so much.

Not even rich kids could expedite that process. And Taika knew, that Todoroki knew that.

Todoroki's eyes finally sparked with an emotion that wasn't despair. "What are you doing?"

Taika flashed a playful grin at him and tapped the license with the kitchen scissors again. "Following instructions and doing whatever." She placed the card in between sharp, metal legs, and cleared her throat as she readied to give the license a eulogy before the first cut.

"To Todoroki's hard work. It is a shame his daddy issues caused him to abandon his dreams of becoming a better hero."

Todoroki suddenly rushed toward Taika, his hand reached to yank the card out of her grip; Taika merely leaned away and held his provisional license behind her back. The scissors clattered to the floor of his dorm.

"Taika, I'm not playing." Todoroki warned, his voice a mixture of anger and determination

She could work with that much better than despair. Taika matched his tone, "You think I'm playing?"

🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚

"This is stupid." Todoroki muttered under his breath as they exited from the train station. Taika forced him into one of Sero's black and yellow hoodies, Toru's costume glasses, and Midoriya's All Might beanie right before she forced him to go on a 'self-care' journey for the night.

"Your attitude is stupid." Taika shot back with ease as they navigated through throngs of people. She gave him a half frown. "Look, just try to get out of your head?"

Todoroki blanked; his eyes narrowed as if he heard a bad joke. "You want me to get out of my head?"

"Don't overthink it, Todoroki." Taika did not have time to explain expressions and figures of speech right now, nor did she want to. Her eyes scanned the busy streets of Nagoya until she saw a convenience store roughly a block down the street; she lowered the bill of her baseball cap.

Todoroki felt a nudge and when he looked over he was greeted by a neatly folded (and possibly ironed?) bills right in his face. There was either a deeply mischievious or menacing glint deep in Taika's eyes. His mind was both alarmed but also captivated. If Taika stayed quiet with that focused, intense look in her eyes, Todoroki may have figured the emotion out himself.

Alas. Taika decided to boss the sullen boy around. "Go inside and buy two egg cartons."

"...Why?" Todoroki felt offended; who was this uppity girl who decided to disrupt his night and command him to do such a menial task? It all felt like waste, Todoroki grumbled inwardly.

"Because if you don't I'm going to put your provisional license through a shredder then use those shredded bits to start up a barbeque." Taika smiled her best smile, the one she knew that especially pissed off people. "I hope you like defeat as a side dish."

He narrowed his heterochromatic eyes at her and she merely arched an eyebrow at him and waved the money in his face. Too much like an owner that taunted their dog to play fetch if you asked Todoroki!

A tense silence settled between the two friends.

"You know what, make it three cartons." The purple haired beauty reiterated calmly.

Todoroki snatched the folded money; a quiet pout of frustration accompanied him as he did the little errand. I could be doing anything else. His mind wandered a bit to the unread books he ordered, to the new training techniques he could have perfected by now, he could have watched a few soapy dramadies with Fuyumi too. He hadn't thought about the little things in his life he actually enjoyed until now.

As Todoroki gathered the eggs, he felt taken aback for a brief moment as he exited the store. The way he exhaled was shakey and filled to the brim with anger. He felt betrayed, kind of. His eyes fixated on the giant billboard of Endeavor high above him.

"I thought we were friends, Taika." Todoroki's jaw tightened in what could only be described as pure and utter vexation.

Taika moved toward him; her hands sternly held onto his forearms; her eyes fixated on some location beyond them; and Todoroki suddenly found himself on the rooftop opposite of his father's billboard.

Taika nudged at him, a softer expression allowed to him as she gestured to the bag with their supplies, the tips of the fingers brushed together for a moment. "Let's egg his billboard."

It was insanse how warm and sincere that sounded but also.. wasn't that illegal?

"Wait," Todoroki's eyes shifted around as he looked for Pro Heroes or sidekicks in the area. He didn't see any but that didn't mean they weren't around. "Won't we get in trouble, Taika?"

"We'll only get in trouble if we get caught and we're not going to get caught." Taika added, as she handed Todoroki one of the egg cartons. "Or if one of us is a narcs, and I am not a narc. Are you, Todoroki?"

Todoroki thoughtfully examined the eggs before his eyes cut back to the billboard of Endeavor.

He didn't notice the small sigh of relief and the way Taika's shoulders relaxed once she saw the first egg crack right on the billboard. Nor did he notice the way she smiled softly at him once she saw a faint grin on Todoroki's features. She couldn't recall any time recently he smiled.

🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚

If someone told Todoroki Shoto that he and the teleporter were going to be close friends the first time he met her; he'd think that was a backhanded insult. Now, Todoroki would merely shrug and acknowledge the accuracy of that statement. Which was better than how Bakugo would've reacted truth be told.

Before tonight, he never vandalized anything. Now after tonight, not only did Todoroki vandalize three different Endeavor billboards, but he evaded building security. Twice. Maybe he should have felt guilty, or rather in fact, Todoroki knew he should have felt guilty. For the first time since finding out, Todoroki felt like he could breathe.

I think...I think it'll be hard for me to adjust to the changes I may face, Todoroki thought as the invisible weight burried deep in chest evaporated. His eyes casted over to Taika, a genuine smile bloomed on his handsome face as the purple haired girl deligently kept an eye out. But with friends like Taika, I think I'll be okay.

The pair huddled close under the cover of a hearty bush until it was all clear to come out.

"Don't worry." She whispered in perhaps the softest tone Todoroki's ever heard from her. "They're not cops, they won't be as thorough trying to find us right now. They have to report back to the building. Most they'll maybe do is file a report that'll go nowhere because they didn't even get a good look at us."

Todoroki tilted his head at her . His smiled faltered. "How do you know that?" Concern and curiosity burned behind his eyes.

Taika blinked at the supposed Prince of UA. Why was he so dense sometimes!?

"Todoroki, you should know that too. We have an exam for our 'Civil Procedures and Rights' class on Tuesday!"

Oh, shit. Todoroki rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I guess I was busy wallowing, huh?"

Taika rolled her eyes at him, "Yeah, but you're done now. Right, Todoroki?"

His body eased at those words. Todoroki expected some lengthy lecture from Taika, but the few words she used was more than enough.

"Hn." He nodded curtly at her.

There were a small series of follow up questions for Todoroki after that 'Hn'.

Was he sleeping well, if at all? Was he only sustaining himself with instant ramen? When was the last time he spoke to Fuyumi and his mother? Was he drinking enough water? Her last question threw him for a loop.

"You're not...you're not a danger to yourself, right?" Taika's voice still a whisper as a they carefully exited their leafy fortress.

Todoroki halted and his blood went cold. "What?"

Taika doubled down with an explanation. Well, a partial one anyways. Tonight wasn't really about her and her issues.

"I knew a few kids in a similar situation to you, Todoroki, when I was growing up." Taika left names out but she pictured a young face or three in her mind's eye. Her heart broke quietly for the friends she lost. "It's not pity or paranoia, Todoroki." She was covering all the bases; being thorough.

Todoroki wondered if Taika knew he could see the way there was a small spark of fear in her eyes. He heard the slight way her voice tried to shake as she spoke.

He always admired Taika for being so resilient. Scared, nervous, or otherwise, Taika pushed through and here she was, trying to help him do the same as well. It humbled Todoroki.

"No." Todoroki answered calmly as he fell into step with Taika's pace. "I promise."

Relief rolled through her neck and shoulders as the stress of her worry dissolved. She shifted to a different topic, happy and sure of Todoroki's reply.

"Now," Taika reached into her back jean pocket and pointed Todoroki's precious provisional license at his face. "The next time someone holds your license, ID, or any other important documents from you, you're suppose to report that to the police. Don't fall for something like that again, 'Roki. Imagine if someone with worse intentions tried to blackmail you?"

Todoroki's face wrinkled into a mix bewilderement and awe at the teleporter, a small amused grin tugged ever so slightly on the corners of his mouth. He plucked his license away from the teleporter. "You do know that you are a bad influence, right?"

Taika pretended to take offense; she pointed at herself with a faux look of innocence. "Me? I'm a saint."

Todoroki knew damn good and well saints would not encourage him to pour sugar and salt into Endeavor's protein powder.

#shoto x oc #comfort #mha shoto #mha #bnha #slight angst #shoto x reader #short story #drabble #no plot whatsoever #not proofread #rich boy shoto #delinquent OC

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bluedalahorse · 11 months ago

Text

So is now the time to post the opening of my unfinished YR abortion road trip fic?

Maybe. Maybe today is the day! This isn’t on AO3 because I haven’t finished it, but @heliza24 really wants me to finish it and would be glad that I posted even this part to fandom.

There’s more written than just this excerpt, so I could always post more if people are curious.

No title yet, because this is untitled.

Summary: Shortly after season 2, Felice wanders off campus to process a high-profile arrest and other recent shakeups at Hillerska. She doesn’t expect to meet Sara Eriksson, who is in the process of running away.

—

Felice’s Phone

Group chat: MANOR HOUSE GIRLZ (Fredrika, Maddie, Stella)

Maddie: yooooo Felice

Maddie: tell us you missed Swedish class for something epic

Stella: we took notes for you

Stella: mine are better than Fredrika’s

Fredrika: LIES mine are better than Stella’s

Maddie: you’re not in your room

Maddie: girl are you even at school?

Fredrika: just tell us where you are and we won’t snitch

Stella: Felice?

Stella: please check in

Stella: and maybe flirt with one of the local boys so he buys you booze

Fredrika: and then share?

Maddie: don’t listen to them

Maddie: only flirt with someone hot

Stella: yeah he’s got to be at least as hot as Fredrika

Stella: lol j/k ahahaha what

Fredrika: heeeyyyyyyy Feliiiiiice where are youuuuu

Fredrika: we’re a little worried, just let us know

Fredrika: tho at least you didn’t get sick and disappear into the bathroom like SOMEONE we could mention

Stella: but we’re not mentioning her

Stella: bc we don’t mention traitors

—

Felice sits at the edge of a convenience store parking lot in Bjärstad, counting all the scars in her nail polish. It’s supposed to be a fresh coat. Stella brushed the ballet slipper pink onto Felice’s nails on Tuesday, and right now it’s only—Thursday afternoon? Felice is drunk on leftover vodka she stashed in her closet behind her Prada handbag, but not so drunk she’s forgotten that it’s Thursday. A Thursday full of literal dark clouds, at that.

Tuesday was sunny, and it was also the day that police arrived at Hillerska and escorted that guy away. That one, the ex. Wednesday, Felice’s ex-best friend, her real ex in any kind of emotional attachment sense, came back to school for half a day, but couldn’t make it past lunch. Now people are spreading rumors about Sara Eriksson puking in the bathroom. So maybe it’s been a weird enough forty-eight hours that Felice hasn’t noticed herself scarring up her nail polish.

And maybe, now that today is Thursday, Felice needed to skip classes and get drunk and go for a walk off campus, and buy a bag of chips from a nothing convenience store in this nowhere town. There are things getting drunk won’t solve. But it’s not like being sober is going to solve things for Felice right now, either.

Felice’s phone vibrates against her thigh. She pulls it out of the pocket of her sweatpants and notes the texts from Fredrika and Stella and Maddie in her (recently purged) group chat. They’re asking her where she is, and is she coming to dinner. Please check in, fuck. How performatively worried. Felice unlocks her phone and almost fumbles her way through a typo-soaked message before deciding she’ll do this psychically. I am walking back to Hillerska now, she thinks in the general direction of school, slow and deliberate. She leaves the rest up to Maddie’s alleged witch powers and pulls herself to her feet.

Felice’s ankles ache the way they do when she’s walked on her Jimmy Choo heels for too long. She’s not wearing heels, though, only slides. Her legs wobble. Her thoughts swirl in slow, doomed circles, like dirty water circling a drain, as thunder rumbles overhead and a cool breeze rustles nearby trees. The rain is imminent, and Felice contemplates how much worse it will be when she shows back up on campus not only drunk, but drunk and completely soaked through, her carefully styled curls a wreck.

(Stella, Fredrika, and Maddie could get away with a stunt like that. A teacher might ignore their obvious alcohol breath and just tell them to put on dry pajamas and go to bed. But for Felice, they notice everything. Because Felice sticks out to begin with.)

Felice is caught in a vision of the headmistress, hissing the word inebriated on a phone call to parents, when a van pulls into the parking lot. She’s not as up on cars as the Forest Ridge boys, but this van definitely belongs to a Bjärstad local. She braces herself for an awful catcall as the window rolls down halfway, certain she’s about to get leered at by some guy in a permanently affixed football beanie.

Instead, it’s a girl. No football beanie, only football confidence. Felice recognizes the girl from Simon’s instagram—she’s come up a few times. Felice hasn’t been counting, but she’s noticed.

“You’re in choir with Simon,” says the girl. “Felice, right? I’m Rosh. Need a ride back to school?”

“I can walk. I think,” Felice says. And then, so she can own her story, she adds, “I might be a little drunk?”

Felice adjusts her posture, straightening her spine and setting her hand on her hip as she makes eye contact with Rosh. Immediately a sense of embarrassment twinges in her chest at her pose. What the—was she modeling? She’s not making a case for relative sobriety, whatever she’s doing.

Rosh turns to consult with someone next to her, then turns back to Felice.

“Come on,” she says. “Get in the car. Back seat.”

“Um. Thanks.”

The back door of the van slides open. Felice doesn’t have time to question who Rosh has next to her in the passenger seat. She receives an answer soon enough anyway. The back of Sara Eriksson’s head is so familiar—defeated brown waves that haven’t seen a wash day in too long. Sara’s shoulders are hunched over; her neck is bent. She does not turn around.

Two weeks ago, if Felice saw Sara looking like that, she would have pulled Sara close and rubbed her back until they talked through what was wrong.

(Part of her still wants to. But she doesn’t like the idea of Sara mentally comparing her hugs to someone else’s, and she’s allowed to be petty about that.)

“You don’t have to talk to me,” Sara says, tapping away on her phone. She sounds exhausted. “I’m busy anyway.”

“If you hydrate, we won’t ask about the drinking,” says Rosh to Felice. “There’s sports drink behind the passenger seat. Take one.”

Right. Sports drink. Because Rosh does sports, Felice has noticed. It sounds like an order more than an offer. Felice ducks down and liberates one of the bottles from its six-pack. The liquid inside is neon-bright and tastes of soft metal and fake citrus. Rain splatters on the van’s windows—the first sparse and irregular drops, followed by the entire pounding ensemble of water. For the next few minutes, Felice focuses on the horizon, where blurred trees meet the mirror-gray sky, and sips her post-football-run drink. Sara takes care of the directions to her old dorm, uttering an occasional “right” or “left” or “go straight here” to Rosh. Felice can’t tell why she’s doing it. Why she didn’t just insist on leaving Felice behind.

Then, the conversation shifts. Or at least, the conversation that Felice isn’t a part of shifts.

“Rosh?” Sara whispers. “I can’t find anywhere cheap enough for us to stay.”

“Even on the apps?” Rosh replies. “Look, I told you, I have some money—”

“I can’t take your money.”

“It’s money I owe Simon anyway.”

“That’s even worse. He already hates me. You should hate me more.”

Sara breathes in, then out, audibly. She does it a few more times. Felice’s own lungs strain in sympathy.

“We have to find a place for the weekend,” says Sara. “Or we can’t do it.”

“What are you talking about?” Felice finally asks. She presses a hand to her thigh to keep her leg from jiggling. Since she was seven years old and started her first etiquette classes, she’s always been able to sit still. Always.

“We’re going on a weekend trip,” Rosh answers, too brightly. “To Stockholm—”

“—to an island,” Sara says at the same time.

“Stockholm has lots of islands,” Rosh improvises. “Sara just needs to be away for a weekend. That’s all.”

“It doesn’t sound like you’re going on a normal trip,” says Felice, hearing the suspicion in her voice, and how it sounds like her father.

“We told Mamma we were traveling,” says Sara. “My period’s late. I don’t––I don’t think it’s coming. I know it isn’t coming, because—”

“Don’t tell me that.”

“—I did a pregnancy test.”

Felice digs her chipped nails into her knee. She knew how Sara’s sentence was going to end. Not the way she knows people’s names or the answers on a test she studied for, but the way she knows to pull her hand away when she touches a hot stove. Swift and unthinking. She even gasps the same way she does when she’s burned. Not out of surprise but out of pain.

“Fuck, Sara,” says Rosh. “You don’t have to tell her. She could tell the media.”

“Sorry,” says Sara. “It just came out. I’m scared, okay?” At last she turns around and looks toward Felice, her fingers curled around the back of the passenger seat. Her face is red and purple-tinged in all the places that indicate crying and sleepless nights. “Look, you can’t tell anyone. Rosh and I are going to deal with it. We already got the pills. I can’t deal with it at home because of Simon and Mamma. I don’t know what they’d say.”

“We wanted to use my apartment,” Rosh adds. “We thought my mother was going to visit one of my aunties this weekend. But auntie came to visit us instead at the last minute.”

“Please don’t tell anyone at school, Felice.” Sara turns away again. “Or Simon. Don’t tell him either.”

“People are already talking about how you threw up in the bathroom,” says Felice. “And if you’re absent from school again, they’re going to wonder.”

“Please don’t tell,” Sara repeats, voice muffled as she pushes her face into her coat sleeves.

As much as the infusion of electrolytes, courtesy of Rosh, has helped Felice to steady her head, she’s still too drunk for this. Or maybe, again, she isn’t drunk enough. She tries to imagine her math class tomorrow, working trigonometry problems with an empty chair beside her and actually knowing why the chair is empty. She can’t. Felice can’t even imagine faking sick and staying home from class, because then Stella and Fredrika would come visit her with buns and coffee, and then they’d want to gossip.

At first, being able to gossip felt good. But ever since the arrest—since the security from the palace arriving to keep out news cameras—gossip is more like gangrene eating at an already wounded limb. Felice needs amputation, or at least closure. Until then, she’s just going to keep asking herself questions about what part of the catastrophe she made happen. Why didn’t she ask Sara who she had a crush on, like best friends always do? Why hadn’t she been more concerned that Sara was gone all the time and came back late to their room? Why hadn’t she told Sara how bad things got with him last term, to warn her?

Felice doesn’t want to keep asking herself the questions, because this isn’t her fault. Maybe Sara isn’t the only one who needs an emergency abortion. Maybe Felice needs to abort Sara from her life, so she can move on.

But if she’s going to do this, she has to make it her choice.

“My family has a vacation cabin,” Felice says. “We can go there to do what you need to do. But after that, we will never speak to one another ever again. Alright?”

Sara’s shrunk down in her seat so much that Felice can’t see her anymore, but Felice is pretty sure from the rustling of her coat sleeves that she’s nodding.

Five minutes later, Felice is on the phone with her mother, feeding her excuses and exaggerations until she gets the approval to leave school for the weekend. At the same time, Rosh turns the van around and drives away from Hillerska.

#young royals #my fic snippets #sara eriksson #felice ehrencrona #rosh young royals #cw pregnancy #cw abortion

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